Be My Addiction

21 • Confrontation

Eugene

The pills on the ground caught my eye and my bashful mood evaporated. I know it might be just a coincidence but Ethan was standing right there so what else was I supposed to think?

Surely he wasn't taking pills.

Right?

Glancing around, I leaned down to pick up the packet. I knew I could get in trouble for holding these so I quickly stashed them into my pocket and made my way home.

There were too many questions floating around in my head. Ethan wasn't addicted to taking pills last year. He didn't show any symptoms, at least that I could tell. 

But now? I wasn't too sure.

I googled symptoms of drug addiction. Some of them the symptoms didn't work but it did mention neglected appearance and changes in behavior. Ethan has had both of those. He's also appeared randomly agitated, dazed and unfocuses. Then there are a few physical factors. Ethan has more of a pale skin tone than he had last year. He often shakes and has his occasional jumpy moment and he's lost weight. I wasn't too sure but wasn't it possible for someone to lose an appetite if you are abusing a substance?

I didn't want to assume but now everything was falling into place. I didn't figure out what got him addicted but I knew I couldn't just let him continue damaging his body. 

Tomorrow was Sunday so I'd have to wait to talk to Ethan until Monday. I knew I might be pressing my boundaries but I wasn't going to pretend not to care.

When I thought about it, it seemed that maybe I was the only one who cared. Ethan's family situation seemed a little rough so his parents probably didn't care. Ethan didn't have any other friends.

He was alone.

When I got home, I went straight to bed and slept through most of Sunday. I guess you could say I was trying to waste time to get to Monday faster. Sure enough, I found myself waking up to get ready for school. Today, I would talk to Ethan and get him to tell me the truth. 

I've spent too much time with him for me to just let this slide. After getting dressed in a dark hoodie and jeans, I pulled on my shoes. Grabbing my bag, I headed to school. 

What was I going to say? I wouldn't get to see him until Biology. Maybe I needed to pull him off to the side to talk to him. What if he denies it and avoids me? He's one of the few people who I let close. 

No.

I have to do this. 

If I don't, no one will.

<×><×><×>

The first hour went by agonizingly slow. There was talk about the party and of course, a lot of talk about how I broke up with Veronica. She had avoided me all morning but rumor has it, the cheer team kicked her to the bottom of the pyramid. I felt bad, considering she was trying to be the captain but if I said I regretted it, I'd be lying.

By the bell, I was already leaving the classroom. 

I hurried to the biology class. It was already filled but everyone seemed to be grinning and grabbing their bags. 

Temporarily, confusion crossed my features as I glanced around. Ethan walked over, apparently seeing my expression. He gave a light smile but it didn't quite reach his eyes. His skin was a bit pale and damp as if he was having a cold sweat. He had bags under his eyes and he was shaky. His eyes darted around briefly. 

More realization dawned, solidifying my earlier assumption. Those were withdrawal symptoms.

Ethan pulled his bag over his shoulder, "We are doing outside to the field today for the assignment. Something about observing nature. I'm pretty sure Mr. Grenell just wants to avoid doing any classwork." He chuckled.

Nodding slightly, I walk with Ethan and follow the class out of the school to the open field. Beside the school building, there is a large pasture that is left generally untamed. The ground is littered with wildflowers and a soft species of grass. 

Mr. Grenell glanced around, checking to see who all was here before he marked it down on the notepad. He yelled, "Today is a pretty relaxing day. I want you all to walk around and make observations on how the ecosystem in this field works. Think about how this ecosystem would fail if another species of animal was brought in. I know many of you will probably goof off but I will be having an assignment about this."

There were a few groans but mostly everyone was already trying to have fun and mess around. After we were released by our chaperone, we all disbursed. Ethan had his arms wrapped around himself as he looked around, seeming to be in a daze. I could tell he was probably cold, even though it was at least 80° Fahrenheit out here...

Nerves settled in my stomach. I knew I had to confront him today. "Hey.. do you want to go.." I glanced around and pointed to a tree a few feet away from everyone. He nodded and we made our way over.

Both of us were silent. Ethan, probably because he wasn't feeling good and me because I was too nervous to speak yet.

We sat down and I directed my attention his way. I knew I didn't give him a chance to settle in his spot but the wait was killing me. Taking a deep breath, I spoke, "Ethan... Can you be honest with me?"

Ethan seemed caught off guard by how serious I was but he nodded. I bit my lip before rummaging into my bag. Grabbing the small pill pouch from Saturday night, I pulled it out. By the look on Ethan's face, I knew I wasn't going to like this conversation.

"Are these yours?"