Be My Addiction

30 • First

Eugene

Ethan's cheeks lit up at my question. He glanced away clearly thinking about his options before his eyes met mine. Over the last few months, I've noticed just how blue they are - almost sky-blue but at the same time that husky, gray color.

Quite beautiful actually.

He nodded and slowly took the guitar out of the case. At first, I was worried he wouldn't like it, but when I saw the light in his eyes and I saw how his lips parted in shock, I knew I had nothing to worry about. His little whisper of gratitude also helped to ease my concern.

Ethan took a moment to strum the strings in tune it however it needed to be tuned. I had no idea what he was doing but he seemed to have a generally good idea of what to do with that type of instrument.

I took this as an opportunity to pull out my phone. I began recording as he sang a song I knew he had loved.

Incomplete by James Bay.

His eyes were on the strings for a short time but I was aware he was playing with his eyes closed for the majority of the song.

I was shocked silent at the music and beauty Ethan produced. The dedication he put into learning to play was inspiring. Ethan has gone through so much. He's recovering from his addiction, dealing with loss and longing for his family, yet when he played, it seemed like his worries melted away.

It was truly mesmerizing.

He finished the song and took a moment, probably collecting himself. I paused the video and he placed the guitar gently back in its case before locking it securely.

I wasn't expecting it, but the second he stood, he flew at me, almost knocking me over with a hug. He mumbled more thanks but I was still trying to breathe. "You're- welcome" I whispered and ruffled his hair.

He gave a cute giggle and stepped back "where to now?"

Smiling, I motion for him to follow me "our cafe." It's not technically ours but we called it that. It was the only place we went without the other guys.

With that, we walked to the said cafe.

<×><×><×>

Ethan and I spent several hours, talking and messing around at the cafe. I didn't realize how fast the time had gone by before the sun started setting.

Both of us sighed but it was more out of content than anything.

Ethan, the boy of my dreams looked to me with a smile, "Thank you, Eugene. I thought I'd spend my seventeenth birthday alone but you came to my rescue and gave me this beautiful guitar." His eyes strayed to the instrument that took up most of the seat, tracing the case. His blue eyes found my brown ones once again.

"No problem. No one deserves to be alone on their birthday or any other day." I smiled "I suppose I should get you back though. It's getting dark soon."

He nodded with a smile and placed the bill on the table before I got the chance. Chuckling, we both made it out of the cafe, side by side.

The walk was quiet but peaceful. The crickets were out and making their usual song as the town grew quieter. I always enjoyed spending time like this with Ethan. With him, I could be vulnerable and sensitive and I hoped he felt the same. He was different.

He's been on my mind.

He's.. the one I want.

I admit it, finally. I like him, and more than just a friend. Ethan is funny, kind, playful, sassy and stubborn and I loved it.

And I've decided to act on it. I know rejection is a very possible outcome but I didn't feel like it was fair to either of us if I didn't confess my feelings.

So as we arrived at the house, I turned to Ethan. He looked confused but said nothing. Beforehand, I had practiced so many speeches and written down so many ideas to confess but standing here, in front of him, I couldn't bring myself to say anything.

So instead I just.. I just..

Kissed him.

Believe me, it took the both of us off guard but my lips were pressed against his unbelievably soft lips.

Reluctantly, I pulled back "good night Ethan." My voice was a little hoarse from the new experience.

Did I just do that?

I think I did.

Oh my god I just did that.

Before much panic could increase, Ethan gave a rather dazed smile "Goodnight Gene." He pecked my cheek before darting into his house.

I just kissed Ethan - freaking - Rhodes!