Be My Addiction

24 • Catching Feelings

Eugene

The next few hours were spent passing around jokes, laughing and lightly pushing each other. I discovered Ethan has this cute giggle when he’s enjoying himself. When he’s having fun, he’ll let out that soft melodic giggle and even a little snort.

I’ve never enjoyed hearing someone snort so much.

We finished the bowl of chili and chips and I was relieved to know Ethan was regaining his appetite. He was so thin when I first saw him in Biology, in the first week of school. I was glad to see he was gaining some weight back.

At the moment we were watching “iZombie”. I’m not much of a fan of zombie movies but I didn’t dislike the show. It was funny and I think Ethan enjoyed watching it because he could relate with the main character, Liv. The both of them had changed over a traumatic experience and lost many connections with people from the situation.

I’m pulled from my thoughts at the feeling of something, or someone, drooping against my shoulder. When I looked in that direction, I realized that the pressure was Ethan. He was asleep with his head using my shoulder as a pillow. I don’t know why but I felt a blush creep to my cheeks. 

He looked so peaceful at the moment and I didn’t have the heart to move him. His lips were slightly parted and his raven-colored hair fell in front of his eyes. 

He looked so beautiful.

There, I admit it. Ethan is beautiful, but not in a feminine type of way. No, he looked beautiful the way his hair was always messy and the way he always wore comfortable clothes that either hugged or hung off his body perfectly. I thought his smile and eyes were gorgeous and I loved the way he treated me.

I knew I was probably catching feelings for Ethan. I wasn’t sure what to do about that. I didn’t mind them but what did it mean about my sexuality? I thought I was straight. I had only ever been with Veronica. I have found girls attractive but I could point out moments where I was unconsciously checking out guys too.

Does that mean I was bisexual?

I know what the term is and it seems to fit but I’m not sure if I want to put that label to my name yet.

I know mom and Anna would probably be fine with it but I wasn’t too sure about the school. The average student wouldn’t care but everyone higher up on the scale might. I wasn’t sure if I could risk it. 

Definitely not.

Shifting my attention to Ethan, I couldn’t help but wonder what his sexuality was, as well as his romantic preferences. Would he care? He’s never really expressed any concerns about his sexuality. I was nervous to tell him but I don’t think he would mind.

Either way, the boy in my arms brought along a lot of feelings. I don’t think I have to worry about them for the moment. 

Ethan shifted on the couch and moved closer to the point he was pressed against my side. I was relieved to see him finally getting some sleep. He probably needed to catch up with his hours of sleep.

I soon relaxed and wrapped a loose arm around him. Just for a moment I could sit like this before Ethan shifted again. He sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes, almost like a child would. I sat up and he looked my way with a sleepy smile.

“How long was I out?” His voice was slightly rough but I oddly like the way it sounded.

Shrugging, I smiled, “Not long. How did you sleep?”

Ethan ran a hand through his hair and smiled, “Good thanks.” He glanced at his phone and let out another yawn as he stood, stretching, “I probably should head home.”

Smiling, I stand too, “Can I give you a ride?”

Ethan thought about it but shook his head, “Nah. I could probably use the walk.” He must have seen my disappointment because he quickly added, “Because my legs are asleep.. Gotta.. Get the blood flowing, you know?”

This boy is so dorky. 

I watched as he pulled on his shoes and headed for the door. I met him there and grabbed my hoodie, “If you won’t let me drive you, at least take this.” I wasn’t letting him leave without something to keep him warm “This will keep you warm.”

Ethan bashfully took the hoodie and pulled it on. He then smiled up to me, making my heart skip a beat, “Thank you, Gene. I’ll talk to you later.” I returned the smile and watched him walk off, in my oversized hoodie, before shutting the door.