Love is a big word. (La casa de papel. A Denver fan fiction)

Exposed

For one month everything was absolutely perfect. Denver and I had sex almost every night and were really good friends at day. I spent a lot of time with him and Tokyo. She is something like my best friend in there. I talk about everything with her and she told me about her and Rio, they are so cute. She even knows my name and past and I know hers. It's a secret that just we share. She thinks it's cool what I did, all the robberies and the drug ring. If we could we'd do all that again but together and of course with our boys.

But that night, Denver and I were interrupted.

"Hey baby, what's up?" he asked grabbing my waist.
"Your really cute when you try to get me in bed." I laughed at him.
"Okay, okay I didn't want to just ask to fuck, I-" I interrupted him with a passionate kiss and we melted together.
I sat on his lap on the bed and we started to make out.
"I'd love to ripp of your clothes right now." he said.
"Then do it" I said and my shirt was gone. His following.

The door opened. Fuck.
"What the heck are you doing?" I heard Nairobi saying.
"Oh my good, you London and Denver?" she seamed shocked and surprised.
"We can explain.." I tried.
"No I think it's clear, you two are fucking around for.. How long?"
"A month but we really like each other." Denver explained. I just stood there not knowing what to do or to say.
"It's cute and you know but we aren't allowed to have personal relationships. If someone else came in you'd be dead! I hope for you that it's over before we get in the mint because love will destroy our plan completely. I like you two but, no." she said being really angry at us and I saw him getting mad too.
"Calm the fuck down Nairobi! London and I love each other and I don't fucking care if you don't like that! We won't do anything bad to the plan so mind your own business and let us be happy!" Denver screamed at Nairobi.
Wait, he said we love each other, oh shit this is going to hurt.
"Love is a big word Denver. Nairobi don't be mad it's just an affair for a bit fun, it's just for these few months it won't be a problem for anyone, I promise you." I said.

Fuck. I hurted him so bad right now. I knew he likes me but I didn't know he was in love. Oh no, what did I do? I always destroy good things. I always hurt people but I didn't want to hurt him. He doesn't deserve me. Ah fuck. I'm so stupid. I feel so bad.

"Okay, but please end this. I love you two like siblings and I don't want to get you in trouble. I won't say anything." she said and left.
"So I'm just a little side boy? A affair for your fun?" he said and looked so sad but angry. His eyes were filled with tears and I felt so, so bad that this shit came out of my mouth a few minutes ago.
"Denver, I'm so sorry I didn't know you were in love with me I- I just said that because of Nairobi or else she would've freaked out." I said trying to calm him down.
"No don't try. I should have known that you can't love after everything you've done and been through. It's true, I think I'm in love with you but it doesn't matter. I gotta go it's late.." he told me as a tear rolled down his face.
"I'm sorry.." I said and looked at him as he closed the door.

I sat on my bed and just stared at the wall. I wanted to cry so hard or scream at myself for being so stupid but I couldn't. I felt nothing. He was right. I'm a cold hearted bitch. But I can love. I loved someone before. It didn't end well, maybe that's why I don't want a relationship. I can't deal with emotions, not even my own. He almost cried because of me, I could've punshed  him in the face and it wouldn't have hurted that bad I think.
He said he loves me but do I love him maybe? I don't know. I think I'll never know.
Then everything went black..