Love is a big word. (La casa de papel. A Denver fan fiction)

Bad Princess

There she laid. Blood all over the floor. I just stared at the body of the pregnant woman. Monica Gaztambide. I put my gun away and turned around seeing him.

He got tears rolling down his face, because of me again. Could be because she's dead or because I did it. Denver pushed me and started screaming.

"Holy fuck! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? SHE WAS PREGNANT! WE COULD'VE SHOT HER IN THE LEG AND HIDE HER TILL WE'RE OUT OF THIS FUCKING PLACE! YOU ARE FUCKING CRAZY! I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED THAT YOU'RE IN THE PLACE TO KILL SOMEONE LIKE IT'S NOTHING, BUT YOU LONDON, YOU'RE EVEN MORE FUCKED UP THAN I AM.. FUCK! " he stopped with screaming at me for a second to punch against the wall instead of me.

"YEAH, BUT I WANTED TO HELP YOU. I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO BE A MURDER I ALREADY DID TOO MUCH BAD IN MY LIFE IT DOESN'T MATTER. WE COULD HAVE, BUT THINK ABOUT IT? SOMEONE FINDS OUT WE HID A HOSTAGE? WE'D BE AS DEAD AS HER! MAYBE I AM A CRAZY BITCH, BUT YOU DON'T FUCKING KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY LIFE! YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME, SOMETHING ABOUT MY FAMILY OR CHILDHOOD, SO DON'T FUCKING DARE TO SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO ME AGAIN YOU BASTARD! SHE'S DEAD NOW YOU CAN'T CHANGE THAT. YOU SAID IT YOURSELF, SHE WOULD'VE DIED ANYWAYS. DON'T PLAY THE FUCKING HERO OR SOMEONE IN THIS PLACE IS GOING TO SHOOT YOU!
SO COME ON. PUNCH ME RIGHT IN THE FACE IF YOU WANT, I DON'T CARE. I DON'T FEEL PAIN. NOT PHYSICALY OR EMOTIONAL. I CAN HURT YOU BUT YOU CAN'T HURT ME! I DON'T FUCKING FEEL A THING!" I screamed.
"SHOULD I TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT MYSELF? YEAH?
WELL I GOT KICKED OUT OF THE PERFECT FAMILY AT 15, DID DRUGS, STARTED ROBBING LIKE CRAZY WITH A FEW FRIENDS SO WE COULD EAT AND LIVE SOMEWHERE. I GOT IN PRISON, BUT THEN I ACCIDENTALLY SHOT THE LEADER, OF NOW MY DRUG RING WHERE I PAY THE DEALERS, DO THE WRITING TYPE OF STUFF AND THE DARK THINGS! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT COULD MEAN? YEAH? I FUCKING KILLED MORE THAN 8 PEOPLE THAT BETRAYED! YOU STILL WANNA BE WITH ME? I WOULDN'T! " I continued.

I couldn't even hear what else I said because it made me so angry that he yelled at me. I am a bad person, but he isn't better. We're both criminals and have a fucking problem with anger so he can't tell me what to do and what not. I couldn't handle my anger, it was like a explosion because I held it in for so long.

Denvers face was hard to explain. Anger, sadness, maybe dissapoint and he looked at me like I was insane. His tears still there. I lied. It did hurt me. Seeing him clearly upset and a bit broken all because of what I did. 2 days ago everything was perfect.. I had to, it was the best for us, maybe it's going to be okay.

He spoke again but this time quiet.
"I'm still in love with you but just fuck the hell of or I'll--." Denver ordered.

"Or what? Gonna kill her? Sweet. Your crazy princess had to do it for you. Pathetic to let a girl this beautiful do that shit because you're crying in the corner. Little boy has nothing on his mind but love, then she turns out to be even badder than you." Berlin chuckled as he came in.

Denver fast walked inside his direction and hit him in the face.
"What do you want, huh? Why couldn't you do it yourself? Bet you were the one crying and being scared to do it. You're a damn asshole! The professor would let something bad happen to you so you thought better let them do the job? Don't want blood on your hands so you use ours? Fuck you!" Denver yelled at him.

"If you ever touch me again, you're a dead man." Berlin said in a dangerous voice.
"There's a coal boiler in the basement. Throw her in there. Afterwards you can clean this up. As you're already here, London could you do this? He's not in the state of mind right now. You're a woman that does what a man tells her, isn't she Denver?" Berlin provocated him.

"Calm down please. I need your help." I said hoping he doesn't scream at me or run behind Berlin.

He didn't say anything, he just picked the body up and we took her where we should.
"I'm sorry. Not for shooting, but for making you upset with that. I didn't mean to, I just did what we had to." I told him.
He nodded. He couldn't speak right now I understand.

We got back to the toilets and I cleaned up the mess on the ground. Good thing I wasn't disgusted by blood. Denver started cleaning his overall and shirt. I did too. We got undressed and I saw him glancing at me.
Why can't this blood already come off?

"What do you think Berlin is going to tell them? If I did it or you? Or if nothing happened?" Denver asked out of nowhere.
"I don't know, I think he'll tell you did, you're a man and he doesn't really like me. Also he's a narcissist." I replied.

Few minutes later the door opened. Moscow stormed in. Berlin stayed at the door. We stood at the sinks just in underwear and still covered in the womans blood.

"Boy, did you kill that woman?" Moscow asked scared.
I saw Denver wanting to say yes or nod, so I held him back again.
"I did. I shot her." I explained.

Denver took my hand out of reflex I think. Then Moscow fell on the ground. Panic attack.
"Dad, dad?" Denver rushed to him.
"Moscow lay down, its okay, you're okay." I whispered to calm him down.

We got him a blanket for him to relax. I layed my arm around Denver and Moscow slept in.
The others had to help taking him in the phone room.
Him and I got back to the toilets to clean up the last bits.
"I love you." I told him and it came out of nowhere. I didn't even know why I said it.
"I love you too. Still." Denver replied.

I'm sorry for killing off Monica, it just fitted. I really liked her in the show.
I also want to say that I can imagine things they do or say better in my head and when I try to write it's a little messy so I'm sorry if it's strange at some points. But thank you all so much for reading it means a lot to me, to get something like support.❤️