Just A Little More

The Night

3. Just A Little More

...

"Shan!"

She's not listening to me, she just keeps on walking. Binilisan ko ang paglalakad hanggang maabutan ko sya.

"Shan---

"I can't believe them!" bulalas nito nang makaharap sya sakin.

"What's wrong with them? How could they be so mean? Damn it!" she's stressing out.

"It's fine"

"No Re, that was not fine, and it'll never be. They are not just belittling you. I really can't believe them. We shouldn't have come here. I hate them"

She stop from ranting when I embraced her. Ramdam ko ang pagtaas baba ng kanyang paghinga at ang pagbilis ng pulso nito. I can tell that she is really affected.

"Re" she whispered emotionally.

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry"

Hinarap ko sya sakin and then I notice how watery her eyes are. I smiled at her.

"It was from your brother" panimula ko.

"What?" may pagtatakang tanong nito.

"I lied about the phone call dahil hindi ko gusto na malaman mo na galing ito sa kapatid mo at hindi ko din gustong malaman mo kung para saan. I know how you will react"

"Totoo nang sabihin ko na hindi ko gusto ang family mo pero hindi ko naman sinasabing hindi ko sila maguhustuhan, Shan. It's a process. Just like us. Hindi naman kita agad ginusto sa una at sa mga sumunod na pagkikita natin. You're just some girl who's living a luxurious life in my eyes before. But then, us happens".

Tear starts to flow in her face, despite of that I still find her stunning under this starry night.

"Don't hate them" I mumbled.  "They are just protecting you. I kinda understand them and their reactions are pretty normal. So, Shan, don't say you hate them, they are your family"

She pulled me in a hug. I'm glad that she's calm now.

"I love you" she breathes, still holding me tightly.

I hummed as I closed my eyes. "Bumalik na tayo sa loob"

"I don't want to" nakangusong aniya. She's really a kid sometimes.

"Then, what about the process? Hm?"

She looked at me defeatedly.

"Yun na ata ang pinakamahaba mong sinabi" aniya nang papasok na kami sa kanila. Hindi na ako umimik.

"And now you're back to your old self"

In the side of eyes I can see her pouting. I'm glad that she's back to her old self. Shan is reasonable and a very patient person. Hindi sya basta-basta nagagalit sa mababaw na dahilan, nagtatampo sya pero hanggang doon lang yun. She's always composed with her signature smile so I'm not used to see her being upset like that.

Pabalik namin ay wala na si Mr. Villa Gracia. That's not surprising since he's a very busy man. We silently continue the dinner. No one dares to break the deafening silence. But I can feel them shooting daggers at me.

Kasalukuyan kaming nakaupo dito sa isang bench sa backyard ng mga Villa Gracia. Nakasandal ang bahaging ulo ni Shan saking balikat habang pinaglalaruan ang kamay ko. Tanging hangin ang ingay ang maririnig. This silence is very comforting. I looked up at the sky, even it's just a half moon it is still capable of unveiling the beauty of darkness. I wonder if people can be like that too. That even if you are just half of yourself you can still shine in blackness of the sky.

"Re? You never tell me your plans"

"Para saan?"

"You'll be graduating in few months. What course are you going to take, and the university you're planning to attend?"

"Hindi ko alam" I know this is being irresponsible but I just really don't know. I'm too engrossed at school and never think about this matter.

"What you mean? Dapat nagdedecide ka na ngayon. What about your choices?" she softly asked still playing with my palms.

That too. Isn't it funny? Na ikaw mismo hindi alam kung ano ang gusto mo. Maybe I'm still half of myself.

"Hindi ko alam" paguulit ko. "Maybe I should take engineering, my teacher recommended that"

"Hm? I'll support you naman kahit ano pa yan. If you want, you can work for us. You can be our manager or chief financial officer or even a barista, that way araw-araw pwede kitang makita" she offers.

She and her friends owned a coffee shop. For a college student like her ay kumikita na sya on her own. She's really great.

I stayed silent, stopped myself from thinking because it won't do good. Hindi sa lahat ng oras maganda ang mag-isip. Thinking can take you somewhere deep, baka magulat ka na lang hindi ka na makaahon. A philosopher once said that mind is a dangerous place, and I couldn't agree more.

"Do you still remember the night of our foundation day" Shan suddenly asked.

"What about that?"

"Just like that night, I'm happy and contented just by being here next to you, holding your hand like this, talking random things, while the stars our only witness".

Nakikinig lang ako sa kanya, dahil lumalalim na ang gabi kaya napagpasyahan ko nang magpaalam dahil malayo pa ang uuwian ko. She kept insisting na dun na magpalipas ng gabi pero sa huli ay sumuko din. I still have classes tomorrow at hindi ko gawain ang malate o umabsent.

"When can I see you again?"

"Don't look at me like that"

"Like what?"

"Sorry, masyado na ba akong nagiging clingy?" agad na dagdag nito.

Ngumiti ako ng tipid sa kanya.

"Don't ask foolish questions. Aalis na ako"

"Take care okay? Call me if you got home"

Tumalikod na ako, hindi pa ako nakakahakbang nang tawagin nya muli ako.

"You didn't answer me"

Humarap at humakbang ako palapit sa kanya, nang sapat na ang layo namin sa isa't-isa, I tiptoed and give her a peck in the cheek.

"Did you--? Did you just kiss me?"

"That's the first" mahinang sambit nito.

"Bye now, Shan" paalam ko at muli nang tatalikod nang hilain nya ako at kinulong sa kanyang braso.

"l'll see you, don't forget to call me 'kay? I love you" she whispered.

Even though I did not say anything she gave me a heartwarming smile. Her lips touch mine and it lasted for a moment. She's still hugging me so I can hear her rapid heartbeat. This wasn't the first time she kissed me but the feelings are still new to me.

Hinintay niyang makasakay ako ng taxi bago sya tuluyang bumalik sa loob. Lihim akong napangiti habang nakatanaw sa side mirror.

I plugged my earphones and play some random music. Pumaibabaw ang isang familiar na kanta, and for unknown reason dumapo ang isip ko sa kaninang tanong ni Shan. It happened when she was a freshman in her current school. I just let my thoughts to turned back at that time.