Purple Rain

17

A Week passed by since she was rushing along the air, treating her patients. Now she was connected to machines. Ventilators, nebulizers, IV lines, Urostomy pouch, gastrosmy tube and many other equipment held her alive. Nurses would shuffle in, carrying out the daily procedure on her. As I walk by, looking at my princess attached to machines.

It wasn't your fault, I refused to let go. You were a free soul stuck in her body said the doctors. I knew I had to let you go, but that thought would pull me to the roof and make me scream at the skies. I knew I would have to set you free, but everyday was not that day.

'Dr Park' Here we sit again, around a common table, going over this for the nth time in three days. 'You need to understand the situation, Dr Park. Being a doctor, you need to understand this and let her free' one of her doctors said. 'Look doctor, there is still a chance she could come back' Her mother explained. I was dozing in and out, overloaded with emotions. 'Look Mrs Lee, brain death is an irreversible process. Unless a miracle happens your daughter is gone for good.' Her brothers sighed with hints of tears in their eyes.

'Doctor...' My voice was raw, as it made its way out 'Just give us a day or two, we will get back to you with a conclusion' with that all her doctors bowed and left.

It was just us now, people who felt the same degree of sorrow in this situation. The room was big, yet the walls felt like they would squeeze the breath out of me. I hoped they would, maybe that way I could have her back.

'With all due respect, I really think we should let her ...go' her brother spoke up, earning a glare sad yet angry from his mother. 'You don't get to speak in this situation Ben' her father announced over the call. 'I have aright to voice my opinion, she was...is my sister and I would do anything to free her from the shackles of pain' the pause between his tenses was what broke my heart. With a deep breath, I had made my mind 'I know the pain of your loss Mr and Mrs Lee, your daughter is a fighter, she led her life like one. It would be in all means be unfair of us to keep her in agony more than we already did. She did everything to bring lives into peace. I suggest we pay it off. There is no option of...of bringing her back to life. I have seen many who spent years of their lives on machines, till their bodies were a mesh of decay. This would bring you pain, but I request you...Please let her off this mess. She is in a better accommodation than what we could provide her' In that pause, I felt myself sinking into the depth of hopeless waves. 'Jim..' before anyone could utter a word, I shut the flap of the laptop. Grabbing it and making my way to my ward.

Was I wrong or was I right? Were you in pain when you died? Did it hurt or were you scared? I was by you, I really cared. Did it happen on its own or did it come to you in slow mo? There were so many questions unanswered, so many thoughts that still wandered. Yet I let you go, off to your destination.

My phone rang, as I splashed water onto my face. Letting the ice drops cool off the wild emotions. 'Good afternoon, Doctor Park on the call' I pressed the accept button without checking the caller ID. 'Good afternoon son' the other side spoke. 'Oh..' was all I could say.

I rushed back to my office upon his demand, opening up my laptop and attending the call. Everyone looked at me with feelings I couldn't point out. 'Son..' her mother broke into tears 'We know it is your loss too, yet you are the wall that kept directing us. I am at the loss of words on how to convey this message' he said that and went completely quiet. The room oncd again filled with unexplainable understanding. I nodded my head 'I understand' and close the laptop for one last time.