Red Hoodie //BoyFriends

Chapter 7

Michaels POV:

The feeling of being in a dream quickly changed to a nightmare
I woke up and Jeremy wasn't there. I grabbed my phone but no message was there from him.
I turn my phone round to find a post it note stuck on the back of it.

Dad wanted me home, I'll be over in the morning. Love you <3

I sigh and pull the note off the back of my phone and put it in my pocket 
Something seems to have changed as I slept. Like something triggered inside me and all I feel is shit. Soon my thoughts take over and I listen to what they have to say.

No one likes you Michael

Yeah no shit Sherlock

Jeremy didn't need to go because of his dad. He hates you and wanted to leave

Stop it

No one would care if you disappeared

Stop it!!
The same two words are circulating my brain and I can't push them away.

Kill yourself. Kill yourself. KILL YOURSELF

Fuck my life.
I go upstairs as quietly as I can. It's like 2am so my moms are both asleep.

T.W SUICIDE MENTIONS
I go into the bathroom and open the drawer.
The bottle of pills stares back at me.
Just by looking at them I start shaking. I'm not really gonna do this am I.
I send Jeremy a message.

Micha: I'm sorry. I love you with all my heart.

I get a reply almost immediately

JerBear: Wtf? Michael what are you on about

I'm shaking too much to send a reply so I put my phone on the counter and take hold of the bottle of pills.
I guess this really is it.
My phone pings again.
How the fuck can I do this to Jeremy.
I drop to the floor, close to breaking down completely. The bottle of pills still in my hand, my thoughts dangerously close to telling me to open the bottle.
I don't know how long I'm sitting there for, until I get out my phone, hit record on an audio, and start singing to myself.

The time. Has. Come

I can barely sing the first lyrics before feeling the tears spill over. Uninvited yet again. I don't want to cry. I wrote this song almost 2 years ago. And I'm not gonna fuck up my one time to use it.

I'm flying away.
Mouth. Is. Numb
Heart don't know. What to say

I can't stop the tears anymore.
I start opening the bottle. Shaking like hell.
Nothing is gonna help me. What's the point of staying somewhere you hate
I allow myself one more verse before I do it

And although
I'll be out of sight soon,
Know I'll be right here
Right here forever ever ever ever
And when you. Look to the night skies
Don't think of goodbyes,
think how I'm right here, ever ever ever.

I ignore my promise of not singing the whole thing and just finish the whole god dam song.

Thank you for teaching me lessons
Thank you for listening to mine
Man, you know how to ride a bike
Now, don't be scared, you'll be fine
And although I'll be out of sight, dear
Know I'll be right here
Right here forever, ever, ever, ever
And when you look to the night skies
Don't think of goodbyes
Think how I'm right here, ever, ever, ever
Don't! No, you can't come with me
Stay! I wish I could
Goodbye
I know it's hard to say
Come! No, you can't come with me
Stay! I wish I could
Goodbye