Red Hoodie //BoyFriends

Chapter 32

Michaels POV:

Nothing can keep me calm right now. Every person I move past causes my throat to close more and my chest to become tighter.
I finally find the bathroom and lock myself in a stall before falling right into the middle of a panic attack.
I try to keep my breathing quiet incase someone comes in.
I put my head on my knees and try everything to calm myself down.
But without headphones I'm pretty screwed. It's not like I don't have access to music, the DJ is definitely blasting that out loudly but it's something I've never heard. I try holding my phone up to my ear but I can barely hold my phone still and I'm too paranoid that someone will walk in.
I manage to send Jeremy a message

Player one 🎮💕: Jeremy please help me

He reads it almost immediately and I just wait for him.
I hear the door open.

"Michael?"

I can't form words so I just tap the door of the cubicle so he knows I'm here. I reach up and unlock it and he opens the door and then closes it behind him. There's honestly not much room but he crouches down in front of me and holds both my hands.
Pressing against them.

"You're okay. You're safe"

I nod quickly. Trying to match my breathing to his.
It takes longer than usual. I start panicking over the fact I can't stop panicking and honestly it goes downhill from there.
I'll skip the details but basically I end up sitting on the bathroom floor having panic attack after panic attack for about an hour.
Fun I know.
By the time I'm finally calm and leaning into Jeremy's hug, I'm exhausted. The rapid breathing and trying to force myself to stop has been the hardest thing to do. And I've used too much energy.
I just lie against Jeremy trying to find some sort of energy boost to help me get through the last hour of prom.
This is our senior prom and I'm on the floor in a bathroom. This is the one and only time I'm gonna be able to do this. And to be here with Jeremy. I pull myself together and get up

"Hey you sure you wanna go back out?"
"Yeah. Why am I sitting in a bathroom at our prom"
"Michael you don't have to go back out yet. Take as much time as you need"
"I'm fine. Come on let's not waste this last hour"

I offer him my hand to help him get up. He sighs and takes it. I pull him up

"Just know I'm not happy we are going back yet"
"I'm okay. I promise"

I quickly kiss him and we go back out. Not before I check what I look like. My suit is still pretty decent looking and my hair isn't too much of a mess. I wet my hands and run them through my hair to just calm it down a bit.
I adjust my glasses so it looks like nothing happened. Jeremy takes my hand and we walk back out.
Everyone has definitely had at least one drink because it's got a lot louder and more enthusiastic in here.
Just on our way out to the balcony we walk past 2 couples making out.
We make it back out to the balcony but go a bit further round this time so it's quieter.
We find a bench so just sit there together.

"It's weird isn't it"

He turns to look at me

"What do you mean?"
"I mean this is sorta the last hurdle isn't it. It's this and then we graduate. The past 5 or so years of high school and now we are at the end"
"Yeah I guess it is weird"
"All those days of you coming back to mine and playing mario kart and getting high"
"Then me panic revising when our finals got moved to earlier"

I laugh quietly

"Yeah. And my month off"
"God that feels like forever ago"
"When in reality it was like two months ago"
"Ice skating! I was like bambi on ice"
"You still would be if we went again"
"Hey!"
"Your birthday. The snow. Christmas"
"It's all happened in such a short time but it feels like so long ago"
"That could definitely be a song lyric"
"Trust you to make it a song lyric"
"I'm gonna miss high school. I never thought I'd say that but I will. Just that sense of normality"
"At least we don't have to move anywhere. The gang is staying together. We will just have a different schedule to high school"
"Yeah I guess"