eighteen

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zander
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Everyone at training today seems, I don't know. Stand off-ish? Like they're only talking to me if they need to, which is not often. The only person that has actually spoken to me was Conan. Which is quite surprising since he was so angry at me last week. I still have no idea why. 

Training seems to go rather fast most of the time, but not today. It felt like it lasted forever. I think it was mostly because Asher wasn't watching. He took a ride home with Pip straight after school finished. They had some English assignment apparently. It doesn't help that the team is suddenly acting so strange. 

We all walked to the locker rooms once the training had finished as usually. But even the usual banter the team gave each other had dissipated. Something was definitely up. 

I went to the showers once there was one free. Showering was my favourite part of training since it's the one thing I have to put the least effort in to. Plus, it's nice. Although, even showering today was unusual. You could always hear the boys talking, but it was just quite whispers today. I was getting sick of it. It's like I did something wrong? Except, I don't know what it is I did wrong!

I grabbed the red towel off the hook, wrapping myself up in it before heading back out to my locker. Facing the corner, I started getting changed. I chucked on the red hoodie I let Asher borrow last week, it's my favourite hoodie now. 

The tap on my shoulder didn't go unnoticed. I turned around to find Conan and directly behind him, the whole team. It looked like some type of intervention?

"What are you all doing?" I asked, slightly nervous. It almost looked like what happened at my old school. Except, the faces of the team weren't filled with frowns, they all looked... happy?

"Is there something you want to tell us?" what? I had no idea where any of this was coming from. I didn't have any secrets these guys would even know of, because I've never told anyone except for my grandparents, and I have a feeling they wouldn't have said anything. I mean, they're my grandparents, not high school gossip gurus. I mean they could be, but that's unlikely. 

"Um, no? What's going on here guys?" I was getting slightly nervous now. The only other thing I could think of was that the boys from my last lacrosse team told them all. Which is another thing that's unlikely, since I didn't tell any of them, not even the principle or any teachers where I was moving too. 

Conan leaned in closer to my ear, "I know you're dating my brother."

No. How? No way. Asher wouldn't have told them, would he? I know he wouldn't break my trust right off the bat like that. 

"You don't need to justify yourself, it's fine." 

No, it wasn't fine. I didn't want anybody knowing. A repeat of what happened at my last school was bound to happen again. I wasn't psychologically ready for that yet. I could feel my heartbeat speed up. My breaths were becoming shorter and I was losing myself again. I never wanted this happening again. 

"Hey dude, calm down," Isaiah walked over, rubbing my back up and down. Why weren't they beating the shit out of me yet? "If you thought we had a problem with you liking dudes, do you  really think we, as a team, would be so close with Asher?" 

I never thought about that. Asher sat at every training. He talked to most of these boys and none of them ever had a problem with him. I was so afraid of my past coming back, I didn't even want to face it. 

"Bro, you see Jasper over there," Jasper waved from the back, trying to peek over the tall boys in front of him. "He's bi, and currently has a boyfriend that doesn't go to this school,  but we don't have a problem with him."

"Dude, this is a lacrosse team, not a straight pride club. We're not going to hurt you for liking someone, so please, trust us."

Conan and Isaiah hugged me from the side, and soon enough, all of the team came over. I'd never been in a group hug this big. 

Soon enough, everyone fanned out. Going to their bags and leaving for home. The only ones that stayed around were Conan Isaiah, and Theo. 

"Uh, how, um. How did you find out?" I was skeptical. I feel as if it wouldn't have been Asher, I trust him enough not to tell anyone. 

"I kinda saw you and Asher together last Friday after you left us at lunch. I remembered I left one of my books in a classroom and saw you guys through the window. My nosy ass kinda took a photo and I showed these two. As soon as I showed them though, I deleted it," Theo ranted out fast. He was hard to understand, but I got it all. 

"Trust me dude, this dick head can't keep a secret. But if he told anyone else in the school, we would have belted his ass," Isaiah said, punching Theo in the arm. It wasn't hard, but Theo still let out an over-dramatic 'ouch'. 

"You guys are seriously alright with me, being you know?" I didn't really want to tell them I was gay. I was still skeptical about the whole situation. It felt like it was something I had to do now, to let myself be more free with the team. 

"Gay? I mean that's if you are, we won't judge either way."

"Yeah," I nodded my head. I felt happier. I thought the team knowing would just add more weight to my already heavy shoulders. It was the opposite though, in a way, some of it has been lifted. 

"Okay, just because we know. Doesn't mean you have to be all sappy with my brother. I will kill you if you mistreat him though. That's not a threat, it's a promise," Conan could be really scary when he was threatening. All I could do was nod. I had no intentions of ever hurting Asher, he was too special for that. 

"Dude! You and Asher are so alike!" Isaiah suddenly yelled out, making us all stare at him. 

"In what way?" Theo pondered out loud. Finally coming back into the conversation.

"He told me almost the same thing the other day!" 

"Oh really? And who might you be trying to get with for him to say that to you?" Isaiah finally noticed what he had said. His cheeks blushed. Quickly, he picked up his bag and raced out the locker room doors, with protest from Theo behind him, who also went out the locker room. It's true, he was so nosy. 

"It's Pip. 100%." Conan said, the smirk was growing on his face. I believed him too. Pip was Asher's best friend. Who else would he get defensive over. 

"That's going to be interesting," I didn't understand why Conan thought it would be interesting. But to say I wasn't intrigued as to why would be a lie. 

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i was trying to think of a perfect time to do this chapter. but now felt right. 

q: what's your spirit animal?

a: honestly, sloths and bin chickens
why you may ask? because im lazy and a scab. (don't know what a bin chicken is? google it!)

vote, comment, share, whatever 

thanks lovelies <3


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