twenty five

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asher
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"Pip's calling you," Zander said. I was mid way through changing. Dinner had finished and it had gone smoothly. I stopped changing though to answer the call. I knew Pip was over at Isaiah's tonight. I didn't want to leave her unanswered in case something had happened.

"Hey Pip, how's everything goin-"

"I did it. I told him."

pip
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I was sitting on Izzy's bed. I had changed into one of his lacrosse jumpers while he went to the bathroom.

I was looking around his room. He had a piece all wall dedicated to all his friends and family. It was littered with photos. His parents, his six siblings, all his friends and lacrosse. And the most recent addition, a photo of us together on our first date. We sat on his couch, in our lazy clothes eating ice cream.

"What are you looking at?" Isaiah walked into the room. He had no top on and his sweatpants were hanging low on his hips. It was hot.

"Your photos are wonderful."

"Well, they're important to me. Speaking of which, let me get my camera," he walked towards his desk, picking up the large camera from his desk.

"Why?" I already guessed the answer, but I wanted to hear it from him.

"Because you're important and there deserves to be more of you up there," I looked back at the wall, hiding my blushed cheeks. I didn't miss the click and flash of the camera though, catching me off guard.

"Beautiful. Go sit on the bed," I followed his order. Sitting myself down on the sheets. He continued taking photos, apparently the best one came when you didn't expect them.

I continued to pose. I had never really done anything like this. I was having a blast doing it.

"Would you mind taking the jumper off? I mean, the photos are gorgeous now, but I'd like to try something new," I was speechless. If I said no, he'd wonder why. If I said yes, he'd find out about me the hard way. Either way, he was about to find out about me and who I used to be. The dead side of who I used to be.

I was only wearing the jumper. No top, and no padded bra. He would see my completely flat chest and that scared me.

"Hey, are you alright?" I didn't realise how much I'd zoned out until Izzy caught my attention. "Pip, babe, why are you crying? What's the matter?" he put the camera down and came over to me. I felt him wipe the tear that had fallen, I didn't even realise I'd started crying.

"Pip, tell me what's wrong. I hate seeing you like this," he wrapped his arm around me from the side. He was rubbing my right arm up and rested his head on my shoulder. "Come on, what's wrong?"

"I just," I tried to stutter out through the sniffles. "I have something I need to tell you, but I don't know how too."

"That's alright. If you don't want to say anything, then do-"

"No. I want to, and I need to. I just don't know how too," we just sat there in silence whilst I calmed down. I was replaying situations over and over in my head. What if he accepts me and likes me still? What if he accepts me but doesn't want to stay with me? What if he hates me and never wants to see me again? I didn't know what to expect and it was scaring me.

"You're alright Pip. Trust me, whatever it is you have to say, I'll listen. Not just because I'm your boyfriend, but because I care for you and want what's best," It's time. If I don't say it now, then when?

"Well, I um. I wasn't born like this," I said it simply.

"I'm not quite catching your drift."

"I wasn't born as Pip," he still looked confused but I didn't know what else to say. I didn't have the guts to completely say to him, 'I'm transgender'.  The only thing I really could do without speaking, was to show him.

I stood up from the bed and took my place directly in front of him. I took a few deep breaths in. It was now or never.

Without looking, I pulled the jumper up and over my head, dropping it next to me on the ground. I kept my eyes shut. I couldn't bare to see the look of horror on his face. I didn't even hear a noise out of him. It's like he wasn't even there.

I only just completely grasped the situation. I was standing in front of Isaiah with no top on. He could see my flattened chest. If he didn't understand before, he surely did now.

I didn't hear him stand up, but I didn't miss the feel of his arms around me, squeezing me into a hug tightly.

"I'm sorry. You probably hate me no-"

"Christ Pip! Why on earth do you think I would hate you for being you! I don't care who you used to be. I fell for the gorgeous girl that took my breath away when I first saw her working at a coffee shop next to my best friend's brother. Yes, I noticed you that day and really wanted to get to know you."

"Listen to me Pip," I opened my eyes to look at him. I almost couldn't believe what he was saying to me. "I like you. Like, a fucking lot. If you think that I would care about you being transgender, then you need to get your brain checked out."

I laughed at him. He always knew how to make me feel better. I was so glad that I had met him and he was apart of my life. I wouldn't want to have it any other way.

"Do you want to talk to me about anything?" he was still embracing me. I could tell he was trying his best to comfort me and make me feel special. That's just what Izzy does. I sat back down on his bed, putting the jumper I stole from him back on.

"Are you sure you don't have a problem with me?"

"No Pip, I don't. I like you for you. Whatever way you come," it was at this moment, that I felt so grateful about having him in my life.

"You don't think I'm ugly or anything because I don't have big boobs or something?"

"For the hundredth time, no! I don't care, as long as I have my Pip, I'll be a happy boy," I truly did treasure him. The fact that I was able to find someone that accepted me for me was, ugh! Unbelievable.

"Can I like, show you photo's of what I used to look like? You know, before I started transitioning," I felt daring. Like a new person had sprung out of my chest. A person that was a lot more confident.

"You do whatever will make you happy."

Even though I didn't want anybody knowing about 'Samuel' anymore, I still had the photos saved on my phone. He was still apart of me. He just wasn't me.

I was Pip now. I am now, and I will be forever.

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yall i have been waiting for this since day dot.
did you like it ahhhhhh.
help me.

q: what's a cool body trick you can do?

a: i can do that clover/w shaped thing with my tougue

vote, comment, share, whatever ♡

thanks lovelies <3

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