unFRIENDLY RIVALRY: countryhumans

Anniversary

Trigger warning? : Homophobic undertones / internalised homophobia 

With a strange lightness to his fatigued, slow-paced steps, a lone figure trudged through the still streets of the half-asleep city that was gradually waking up from its short slumber. His grey eyes absentmindedly jumping around the townscape as if seeking a mental getaway from the torture  of his own mind, unsuccessfully searching for any sort of distraction that would finally let him break free from it all.

How long has it been since the seeds of doubt and chaos bloomed within his mind, festering in the most abysmal of ways as he recalled and analysed every and each one of the smallest memories of him in his head?

A few days.

A few days of being left to his own self-destructive mindset was almost enough for him to lose his marbles.

The abysmal thought? The one that struck him, left him numb and frozen still that day when they were playing the piano together?

It still hasn't left him.

It followed him, even into his bed, where its fruit took on a form of lustful images being imprinted onto his conscience.

Sickening dreams of tender touch he once had dismissed as just some strange nightmares...
What once was an unfortunate one-off occurrence - a dream of a simple kiss so quickly evolved into something so crude and almost animalistic. As much as he denied it, it was unknowingly feeding his oppressed needs.

Sinful. Disturbing. In some way disgusting, he thought to himself, feeling a sense of dread building in his stomach as it twisted and turned.

God, he despised that deep within he enjoyed every one of those.

How could he enjoy thinking about something like that?!

It felt so wrong.

So, so wrong...

Out of his control.

Shameful.

Unnatural.

And it grew into something he could never put into words;

The Polish nation sighed with a grimace, walking the still quiet and somewhat stock-still streets of Brussels, watching the city wake up once again to continue its fast-moving life of stressfully  loud routines. 

Somehow, the man dreaded the very thought of his every step getting him closer to his destination;

 The thought of having to put up will all the stress, 

The thought of having to pretend like everything was alright,

The thought of seeing him again... Only to cause even more chaos in his already turbulent life...

 He looked down at his ancient watch that he wore for the past only-God-knows-how-many decades, not paying much attention to how the worn-out metal had lacked the shine and polish it had all those years ago. 

Truth to be told he kept it for all those years mainly out of nostalgia. Poland was never fickle when it came to clothing and things of that nature. The watch did its job, even though he had to fix it once, twice... maybe six times in its lengthy lifetime. It served him well. What's the point of throwing away something that's fixable?

It was 5 AM. 

He still had a couple of minutes before the first conference of the day. It should give him enough time to sit down, try to calm his troubled mind and have some coffee, essentially pulling himself together before he'll be forced into a room with other people... including the current cause of his misery.