The Raven - Born Out The Earth

Raven - A Sister's Guilt

Eliana Tessa Castellanos

Grief fills my eyes.

Guilt stabs my heart.

Regret shames my mind.

I was the one to be blamed. She was gone because of me. If only I had not forced her to come with us. If only I had let her stay back. If only.

Then she would still be with us. She would be running about, laughing, being her usual self. Carefree. Innocent. Naïve.

A sad smile forms on my lips as I think about her and the tears once again makes its appearance.

It had already been a week since then. But the entire kingdom still mourned for her as did the sky. A princess it never got to have. While I sat in my room, locked away from everyone. Hiding from everyone. I was to be blamed for this. All of this is my doing. It was my fault. I deserved to be punished for the rest of eternity. I deserve the worst there is.

I'm suffocating here. This place doesn't feel like home anymore. It reminds me of what I had done. My sin. I need to leave before I end up doing something that I might regret. Something very bad.

With a resolution, I finally get off my bed and went straight for a shower to wash off another sleepless night. The hot water burned my skin, my body screamed for me to soothe it. But it was the only way I could punish myself. It doesn't hurt though. It's nothing compared to the pain in my heart. Nothing.

I now stand in front of the mirror as my reflection looks back at me. The red burnt patches had already started to fade. Healed. This wasn't enough. Nothing was enough. My once bright eyes looked dull and lifeless. Just how I felt.

I quickly dressed myself in black, a long-sleeved top, jeans and a boot because I still mourned. I need to find my father. I need to talk to him. I need to plead him to let me leave again. Because if I stayed here any longer, I will end up hurting myself as my nightmares haunt me. I don't want them to lose another daughter.

I walk across the heavily guarded hallways. They had turned it back to how it once used to be. Pure white laced with gold. It hid the night of massacre. As if it was just another nightmare. Everything was back to normal. Apart from one missing person.

I now took the empty hallway towards my father's office. No one was allowed near that part of the palace until they had a permission, but I walked through. I knew he would be there. He had to.

I was only a few feet away when I heard the conversation inside. I craned my neck a little to see that the door was slightly left ajar. No wonder I could hear them. The palace rooms are soundproof.

I contemplated with myself whether to leave and come back. But my heart told me otherwise. I leaned back on the white wall and felt my heart thump. Something in me stopped me from heading back to my room. "I'm sorry I wasn't there when all of this happened."

My heart thumped harder as I heard his voice. It sends chill all over my body. My heart knew him instantly.

"It's not your fault, Christopher. You were on another mission. Don't blame yourself for the things that wasn't in your hands." My father's words were that last thing that I heard before I turned on my heels and walked away.

I need to get away. Now. I don't need him now.

I cannot face anyone anymore. I have waited centuries for him. But he decided to show up now, when I truly cannot accept anyone. Not even my mate.

With a blank face and a tight heart, I walked the hallways as his minty scent slowly faded. I walked away from my only chance at love. I walked away from my mate. The one person who would have understood me but the one person I cannot face right now. I said goodbye even before I met him.