A Court of Dark and Decay

Chapter 4- When I Knew

Nesta did not go out at all that day or that night. She just sat in her room. Thinking about that morning.

Not the bathtub. That was locked away with a million other moments of her life.

No, she was thinking about the drawing Cassian had given her.

He had not given her the drawing from Solstice.

He had given her a drawing of the two of them.

In the drawing, the two of them sat on the couch in the townhouse. She had her legs flung over his lap, lying back against the armrest, reading a book. Behind the book, she had a small smile on her lips, and she was looking over at Cassian. She remembered using that book to hide that smile from him, but clearly he had seen it.

He had one arm flung over the back of the couch, one over her legs. His wings were flopped behind the couch, spreading to take in the sun streaming from the window behind the couch. His face was pure light, laughing at something she had said.

She didn't remember the conversation well, just that it had been one of his more tolerable moments. He had wanted to borrow a book, and refused to leave. She remember how the couch shifted under his weight as he sat. She remembered throwing her legs over his lap, saying he could only stay because she 'needed a footrest, and I suppose that's just the kind of thing you were made for.'

And though she tried not to, she still remember the sound of that barking laugh. That moment was captured in this drawing. At the bottom corner, scrawled in Cassian's rough handwriting, was what she supposed to be the title of the piece.

When I Knew

She stared and stared at the picture. Memorizing every curve, every indent in the parchment. In the afternoon, she walked to her window to hold it up to the sun, watching it stream through the window in the drawing, recreating the moment completely. It was breathtaking.

She didn't know if she wanted to burn it or sew a piece of it into every one of her dresses so she could have it with her always.

She ate all three meals that day, and went to bed - for the first night in a long time - sober and alone.

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After leaving Nesta's, Cassian flew straight for the House of Wind. He had so many drawings in his mind he could barely keep himself from falling face first when he landed and ran to his room.

Nesta staring at his drawings in awe.

How she had looked in that purple dress.

The light from the dawn shining through her robe.

Standing with her back to him on the balcony, head tilted up, breathing in the morning air.

Leaning against the bedroom door frame as he left her apartment, the faintest smile on her lips.

He had no idea how long he had been sitting at that desk. Cassian was so engulfed in the work, he hardly even registered Azriel sitting on his bed until his brother said,

"Doesn't that make your wrist hurt?"

Cassian didn't look over his shoulder as he responded, "I just have to get it out of my head on paper before I forget." He finished the last line on his last drawing. Later, he would go over it again and perfect it, then trace it with ink.

He turned to his brother. "She said yes. So you'll have to winnow her in."

Az furrowed his brows as he said, "I thought the plan was Rhys was winnowing her and I was winnowing you?"