A Court of Dark and Decay

Chapter 39- The Last Dance

Hey guys!  The next update will come after Thanksgiving! I hope you all have a very safe and happy holiday, please wear masks and be conscious of your and others health. If any of you get sick I will be SO SAD
In other exciting news, this is what The Witches Excutioner Blade looks like! I had this peice commissioned by Gabriel Blain on DevianArt and I am absolutely obsessed with how it came out! Picture this wicked weapon as you read this chapter ;)
Please forgive any weird formatting or spelling/grammar errors as this chapter was written entirely on mobile lol so its a bit rough.
ANYWAY, I love you all so much and see you next week!!

Nesta was a bloodied doe, entirely still as she leaned over the water. Cassian realized she was staring at her reflection. Nesta was a creature of thought and calculation, and Cassian often wished he could read her mind, see into those monologues she had with herself.
But seeing the way she looked into the water, the way she looked at her own eyes reflecting back at her, Cassian was sure he didn't want to know.
Her shoulders hunched at  an old angle, her back hunched and curved in a way that made it look like she was not the one controlling her body.
Cassian's blood ran cold when he realized, that may be true. She may not be Nesta. If it was too late, if her magic had-

help

The voice was meek, quiet. It was covered and muffle led by something else, but it was her. She was still there, somewhere.
Cassian replied down the bond, a single thread taunt between them.
Look at me.
Even as she was sinking into her stillness, Cassian felt the shift. An anger, a fear- but also a peace in his words. Nesta was still in there.
Nes, look at me.
Cassian saw her muscles tense, a wolf cornered with teeth bared. He felt it, thought, deep within her something relax at his words. He felt an ease, a comfort within her.
He dared take one step. He had not placed his foot on the ground before Nesta erupted out of the water.
They met eyes for a millisecond as she fled.
Her eyes were completely white, a flash between her auburn hair before she tore into the forest.
Cassian dashed to the end of the dock, the last step propelling him into flight as he thrust his wings out and skimmed the water toward the tree line.
"Nesta!" He roared, watching her form through the trees.
She was fast, hardly more then a blur a hundred feet in front of him as he dodged and weaved his way through the trees. As agile as he was, she would always be more so on foot in the forest.
Cassian angled his wings, bringing himself down at an angle that allowed him to continue running as soon as his feet his the ground.
As the forest grew thicker, it was harder and harder to follow after her. His heart raced and his breath came in gasps, but still he did not slow. She shouldn't be able to outrun him. Nesta shouldn't be this fast. He had to find her, had to pull her out of whatever hellhole she was dwelling at the bottom of.
This morning. Just this morning he had held her, kissed her. How did he not notice? How long had this been building, boiling throughout her without him even questioning it?
"Nesta, please!" He pleaded, his arms having to knock branches out of his way as he ran. He could feel the scratches, the cuts from the cold wood, but still he kept running.
Cassian lost sight of her. She was in front of him about four yards one moment, then gone the next.
He called her name again. Not because he expected a response, but because he wanted to shape her name on his lips. That maybe hearing it from him, her name, her reality- hearing it from her mate might help.
Still sprinting at full speed, Cassian swatted away a branch only to find himself in a clearing. The air was thick, ashy in his lungs as he heaved himself to a stop.
Nesta was on her knees with her head to the ground in the middle of the clearing. All around, the ashes and bones of the trees that stood moments ago lay scattered, white magic still skittering along leaves on the forest floor. Her hands were cast to the side, fingers outstretched in odd ways and shreds of that same white magic flittering out like lightning. She had just done this, perhaps only seconds before Cassian had found her.
She was shaking.
"Nesta..." He watched as the ashes fell down around them, Nesta's arms curled back into herself and her breathing speed up.
Cassian knew she was dangerous. Like this, she was an almost infinite well of power at it's most unpredictable and deadly.
But he did not care. Because to him, she was simply his mate. And when his mate needed him, he would be there for her. Always.
Slowly, Cassian crossed the ashes, and knelt down in front of her. Her hands curled into her hair, her nails digging into her scalp. Before Cassian could grab her wrists, Nesta began to drag her nails over her scalp, the sickening sound of torn skin breaking the silence.
"No, Nes, no." His hands clasped around her wrists and before he could think it through, he placed her nails on his wrists.
"If you have to do it, do it to me, Nes." Her nails, bloody from her scalp, curled into the soft skin of his wrists. When one broke skin, Cassian hissed.
Nesta immediately recoiled her hands back into herself, clutching them to her chest. She was so still, she wasn't even breathing. Or if she was, it was so shallow Cassian could not detect it.
"You need to go." She breathed, the rasp in her voice sending a chill down Cassian's spine. "Right now."
Still, Cassian shook his head. "I am not going anywhere."
Nesta recoiled from his hands as he reached for her. "I will not ask again."
Her hair fell around her face, loose from the braid as she looked up at him.
Cassian's heart broke.
Her eyes. Those were the eyes of her mate, those were Nesta's eyes. Ringed with blue, heavy bags underneath and bloodshot, but still the eyes that followed Cassian to his dreams. Blood streaked across her face, down her neck, through her hair. Some fresh, some dried, some matted down her hair and clothes. Who's blood had she spilled? Where had she been?
It didn't matter now, not now that her eyes had returned.
But as Nesta spoke, something dark clenched around the hope in his heart.
"I won't ask again because I won't be able to." Her breath shuddered through her bloodied lips. "You have to go. Cassian, please."
His name on her lips was nothing short of a prayer. A plea.
A goodbye.
Cassian's voice cracked as he spoke. "I told you." He held his hands at his sides, no matter how they longed to cup her cheek, her shoulders, to wrap around her. "I am not going anywhere."
Nesta shook her head. Not breaking eyes contact, she whispered something under her breath, muttering it to the wind and the forest.
"What, Nes?" Cassian asked, his hands unable to stop themselves from reaching out to cup her face. Nesta closed her eyes, leaning her cheek into his hand before it had even reached her. Her skin was freezing to the touch. Cassian stroked his thumbs over her cheek bones to bring some warmth back to her face.
"I said," Nesta whispered, her breath hot on his hand. "Then you are going to die here."
Cassian couldn't move as Nesta's eyes opened again.
They were pure white, practically glowing. A smile spread across her face, a sick twisted smile showing bloody teeth.
Cassian tried to recoil his hands, but Nesta clasped her hands around his wrists with a grip like iron. Pushing his hands to his shoulders, Nesta shoved Cassian to his back and sat on top of him, her knee digging itself into his chest. Cassian coughed as the air was pushed from his lungs, the pressure on his sternum building as Nesta leaned further still over him.
She had not stopped smiling, her eyes still that horrible white color.
"What's the matter, Cas?" She snickered, pressing her knee down harder and she moved her weight forward onto it. "I thought you liked me on top." She hissed, her face contorting around that sickening smile.
Cassian lifted his hips, kicking up his legs and throwing Nesta off him over her head.
Sitting up quickly, Cassian saw Nesta crouched on all fours, a hellcat waiting to pounce.
He stood slowly, watching that cruel smile twist and grow as she watched him. Her eyes were empty, cold.
"Nesta, I know you're there. I know you're in there, Nes." He spoke more to himself then to Nesta, who watched him cooly as she shifted back onto her legs and stood.
"She is. She's right here, Cassian." White magic danced at her finger tips, winding their way over her skin and up her arms.
"This is Nesta."
Cassian watched in horror as Nesta's arms were completely engulfed in the white flame, the silver wisps coiling around her skin and floating around her shoulders and hair.
As her hand reached for it, only then did Cassian notice the wicked blade that hung from Nesta's belt. It was curved and bloody and one of the most beautiful weapons he had ever seen. The white reflected in the dark silver as Nesta's fingers wound through the curved guard to the handle, that flame now licking up the twisted silver. As she lifted the blade from her belt, Nesta rotated her wrist, the blade spinning effortlessly.
As it rotated, Cassian saw the other end of the sword- also a curved blade. A deadly, evil weapon. Not designed for combat.
No, this weapon was designed for slaughter.
It was an extension of herself, another peice of the flame in her soul. Cassian couldn't help but stand in awe of the excellence with which Nesta carried and controlled the weapon. She learned none of that from him. He had barely taught her basic parries and jabs, yet she held this weapons with the grace of a centuries-honed swordsman.
And Cassian found himself standing before her, weaponless and defenseless.
The flame licked up the side of the blade, dancing down the double ended weapon.
"You would do well to remember who she is. Who I am." Nesta's voice was doubled, a deeper echo underneath her words.
"As she sleeps next to you, as you watch her laugh, as you fuck her, you would do well to remember." Nesta took a step back, those white eyes daancing over Cassian as he watched her intently.
"When she kills you, you should do well to remember- you told her you were happy she was alive." A sick laugh from a blank stare. "You will regret saying that."
Nesta came for Cassian with a ferocity he had only seen in war zones.
She slashed at him, and when he broke to the right to doge, she slashed left. She gave him to time to breath, no recovery as she continued attack after attack.
If he could draw the scene, he would have titled it, The Last Dance.
It took everything in him not to attempt to strike back, not to go on the offensive. But as she roared each time he ducked and weaved out of her way, Cassian reminded himself this was not Nesta. This was an ancient evil she could not control.
It was remarkable how much that evil was exactly like Nesta.
Cassian spun around her right side as she sliced for him, but he wasn't quick enough to avoid the gash the back of the blade left as Nesta thrust it behind her.
He gasped, clutching his side where the wound was already healing. Again, Nesta did not let up. She dropped him, spinning to face him and kicking his legs out from under him. Cassian hit the ground hard, instantly rolling to his left as Nesta brought the blade down right where his head had been.
Cassian stood and gained ground between Nesta as she hefted the sword out of the cold ground, leaves and chunks of dirt coming with it.
Nesta turned toward him, spinning the blade in her hands once again. She circled him, waiting for an opening.
But Cassian had already found his. He shook his head, and lifted his hands- a white flag in the sand. His hands shook, but he still spoke. His throat tightened, but he still spoke. His hope was fading, his mate slipping through his fingers in front of him- but still he spoke.
"You could strike me down right here, and I would kiss your feet as you did."
The silence was palpable. Nesta didnt move. Cassian could have sworn that horrible smile faded, if only a millimeter. It was enough, it was a way in.
Cassian took a step toward her, hands still up in the air.
"Nesta, you could rip my wings out with your teeth and I would still want you to be the one to patch the wounds." Nesta's smile completely faded with the callback to that day all those weeks ago, when Nesta had threatened to do just that in the estate in Velaris.
This was how he would do it. This painful brutal honesty would be what forced Nesta back. He could feel her, on the other end of the bond. It wasn't that she was weak or helpless to this power. No, Nesta was intentionally distancing herself from the bond, from him. She didn't want this bond, never had. He was foolish, naive, painfully blind to think that he could could some how coax her into wanting this. Into wanting him.
If Nesta was going to come back, she would have to come back of her own volition. She had to come back because she wanted to.
Cassian didn't know how to make her want to come back, so her only offered what he could.
Himself. His honesty. His truth.
He didn't dare another step, not with those white eyes boring into him. Desperate, a cornered animal.
He spoke softly, his voice gentle in the ashy air between them.
"If killing me would bring you peace, Nesta," Cassian took a breath, holding his hands out to his mate before him. "I would willing walk onto your blade myself."
The flame, twisting and writhing in the blade and her skin only moments before was now completely still. Those eyes were still empty, a white void locked onto Cassian as he broached one more step toward her.
"And I would smile," He was still holding his arms out to her, that still white fire just brushing his fingertips. "I would smile knowing you would finally be happy."
Cassian took that final step toward her, hands on her shoulders feeling that fire lap at his skin as it moved around him and stilled once again. She tilted her head to look up at him, her eyes still white. Confusion, pain, greif, and such a deep sadness that Cassian's heart tore showed itself behind the white eyes that stared up at him.
Suddenly, without warning, with that same look of pain on her face, Nesta lifted the blade and thrust it through Cassian's abdomen.
It was a sharp pain, so hot and piercing it was cold. He sputtered and grasped onto Nesta's shoulders. He could feel the blade push all the way through him, could feel his own blood drip down his back. He looked down, seeing that flame die out on the blade, watching as all that magic extinguished itself.
Nesta only stared, that same look on her face. A painting of sorrow and loss. She didn't speak.
She didn't have too. Cassian had meant what he said.
So, with a gentle smile, he moved his hands from her shoulders to her cheeks. Cassian's fingers brushed through her hair, clearing it off her face and behind her ears. Nesta only watched him. White eyes, completely still, completely empty.
Cassian returned his hands to her cheeks, bringing his lips to her forehead.
He pulled back, to find Nesta's eyes closed. He simply leaned his forehead against hers, eyes locked onto her lashes, watching for any kind of movement.
"I know only two things in this life to be true."
Nesta's breath was even, her skin warming with his touch.
"I know that the sun will rise in the morning," He kissed her, and spoke against her lips. "And I know that I love you. That will never change, Nesta."
He felt it, a weakening. He would be healing faster, but the blade still through his gut prevented that healing.
Cassian did not mind.
When Nesta opened her eyes, he was having a hard time standing, his legs threatening to give out from under him.
When Nesta opened her eyes, they were that beautiful shade of grey. Clouded with tears and confusion and fear.
Cassian smiled wider, thanking the Mother that he saw her- really saw her- one more time.
"Nes." His voice was seeped in that gratitude.
She scrunched her eyebrows together, in the adorable way that she did, confusion and fear spread across her face.
"Cassian? Wh...what-"
When she saw what she had done, Nesta went rigid. Her eyes darted over the sword, over Cassian, over his face.
Cassian pressed his hand against her cheek, attempting to force her to meet his eyes.
"Nesta, it's okay." He whispered, swallowing his blood back down his throat.
"No." Nesta's body shook, her hands on Cassian's wrists tightening. "No, Cassian, no!"
She caught him as his legs gave out, knelt in front of him as he slumped to his knees.
"What do I do? Cassian, you need to tell me how to fix this." She was frantic, her hands swimming over him, his face and hair and arms. She grasped the sword by the blade, not bothering to wind her way through the elaborate guard.
"Nes, don-" He shouted a curse as Nesta pulled on the blade.
"No! No, I'm sorry, we have too get it out, you can't heal if it's through you like this!"
"Nesta, stop, I-"
"STOP TALKING." She shouted so loudly his ears ran.
Then she whispered so quietly he wouldn't have been able to hear her if his ears were already ringing.
"I was willing to lay down and let you die once, and it is the weakest moment of my life. If I am breathing, you will be too."
She repositioned herself to pull on the blade once again.
"Brace yourself." Was all she said before pulling again.
Cassian cried out, but Nesta gave him no time to breath before she pulled again.
He was gripping her shoulder so hard he was sure he broke something, but Nesta was unphased as she spoke.
"One more."
She pulled, and Cassian felt a kind of relief he had never felt as the blade tore back through him. He slumped against Nesta, his breath coming in short spurts as he felt his skin knit itself back together. Slowly, slower then it should have, but it was healing.
Nesta did not hesitate, did not give herself a moment to celebrate or to feel the relief as she pressed her cloak onto the wound and around his abdomen. Cassian let her work, barely being able to breath through the pain.
He focused on Nesta. Focused on how her shoulder felt against his temple, how she smelt like roses and cinnamon. Her hands were so study, so sure as she wrapped and secured the cloak around him. She said something and Cassian felt her words in her throat, but he couldn't hear her. He was so tired, if he could only close his eyes for a few moments.
He was so close to Nesta, he felt his lashes brush against her neck as he closed his eyes.