A Court of Dark and Decay

Chapter 21- Gutted

They had used the forest behind the tent after they used the three apples Verra had brought. 

Every time, Nesta lay her palm flat on a tree. And every time she was able to channel that beast inside her to flow through her skin and decay part of the tree. Only the size of her hand, leaving an ashy handprint.

It scared her. How easy it was, like an extenstion of herself. It scared her that the voice that had been screaming at her for a year, the voice that threatened Cassian, was deadly quiet as she worked. 

Letting it out was the easy part. Reigning it back in and burying it back down was significantly harder. 

Still, with each attempt on the trunk of the towering oak before her, it became easier and easier to quell the fight of the void as she pulled it back inside of herself. She practiced pushing it out and pulling it in like a tide. Feeling it wash and wave through her brought that fear of submersion up to her throat, closing her off and tightening her down. When that would happen, though, when Verra noticed, Nesta felt thier small warm hand on her back. 

"I am here. You are here." The healer would say, then step back and let Nesta continue her work. 

It became second nature after an hour, and when the golden thread of the rising sun wove through the purple and blue of the dawn, Jaida stepped to Nesta. 

The woman in white placed her palm on Nesta's hand, stopping Nesta cold in her pulsing. 

"Nesta, we can be done for today." Her voice was a soothing breeze down Nesta's spine. 

She nodded, taking her hand off the tree and shaking it a few times and taking a deep breath. 

She observed the oak. 

The trunk was marred by five or six handprints, all different levels of ash or rot. By looking at it, one could tell where Nesta had made progress, as the handprints got smaller and smaller. The first was a large grey blob, the rot going further to turn the bark to ash. They became finer and more concentrated, until the last one was the perfect shape of her hand, the dark greenish rot looking almost like it belonged to the tree. 

Nesta was numb. 

"Are you alright?" Jaida asked, stepping around to take Nesta's shoulder. 

Nesta responded, "I'm fine, I need some water and somewhere to sit down." She swiped at a drop of sweat on her brow. 

Verra was already ahead of her though, whipping out a canteen and handing it to Nesta as the trio walked back through the forest to the tent. No one spoke as they marched through the heavy woods. Nesta looked back to find that the tree she had been working on was completely covered by the thick wood. It was perfectly hidden, her destruction buried by growth and life.

Nesta was numb. 

Verra put a hand out when they were at the edge of the forest, the healer peeking thier head out of the wood line. Nesta realized they were checking for a particular winged dog to make sure no one saw them exit the forest. When thier hand waved, Jaida and Nesta followed them to the tent. 

They sat in the tent, drinking water and munching on the few dried berries and nuts. Nesta didn't take the snack, claiming to still be neasous. 

But that wasn't true. 

She looked at the floor between her feet. Nesta heard what the two Illyrians were saying, but she wasn't exactly listening. 

"-how quickly you could adapt and refocus that magic is... Nesta, it's unprescedented..." 

She merely nodded. She could feel it, sinking inside of her. Dragging her down, down, down

A siren song, a sweet abyss called to her from the bottom. Magic was alive, breathing. It was patient with here this past year, waiting in a silent slumber.