Chapter 1

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Like a bunch of heavy chains beings dragged and thrown continuously, I can hear it. You can hear it even if you are deep in your slumber. But I wasn't sleeping. My eyes were staring into nothingness outside my window. It's the only opening window in my room. Moonshining with its full glory. Do you know it borrows the glory from the Sun, it's not it's own? The window is big enough for a cat to walk in and out. But I don't let any. I scrunched to see the small puddle below my bed. I was sprawled up on my bed, on my stomach, my left hand stretched out. This created the puddle of blood that was still dripping from the slit wrist, I created a few minutes ago. Don't you know, this dripping blood somehow eases the pain in the heart? 

"Don't think about him. He is gone." I recalled.

I took a deep breath and sprung out of the bed. I grabbed a bandage from my med kit on the table and wrapped it around my wrist. Stopping the blood. I pulled my white shirt over me. Pulled up my black skinny jeans and left my room. Grabbing my phone, wallet, and house keys, I headed to the hallway. I am rich. Don't get me wrong. I have riches of problems, troubles, sadness, loneliness, and depression. I have a lot of anger to spend relentlessly. What I do not have is a sense of security, a feeling of love. I do not have a shoulder to snuggle myself into. But all these things are for that little girly-girl, right? I'm not one among them. I have been supporting myself and a few others for 10 years on my own now. None of them stayed. Did they? That's what is in my face. I keep giving chances to humankind and they keep stabbing me in the back. Or abandoning me when they want. I am tired. I will end it. I will not pity anyone else. I will not love another soul. I will rip out this heart from my chest and trash it in the dustbin.

I open the doors of my father's old house. I came to this house after 10 years more or less, just a few weeks ago. I had left to start my life and I am back to have a new start in my life. As soon as I opened the door, chilly winds hit me, it's cold. I grab my hoodie from the back of the door and close the door behind me. I pull up my hoodie over my head, hiding my eyes and nose. I started walking away from my home thinking...

I was 16 years old when my mum died in a brutal car accident. The car screeched and rolled down the service lane hitting the electricity pole. Before anything could be done, the vehicle caught fire from the violent electric wire dancing over its hood. The fire engulfed my mother and her lover, then and there. This started a chain reaction of mishaps and my ill fate charged up. Father was never a fatherly figure and had a bad drinking habit. He often used to hit me, my baby brother, and my mother after he got drunk. After my mum died the habit took a violent turn. Whenever I came back from school, I would see him drinking, along with his buddies, and my brother would be crying in a corner of the room all beaten up. I later got to know that his buddies were trying to physically scar my brother with sexual preferences. I sneaked out of the house one night with my brother. Father was drunk out of his mind and had crashed in the back room with his bottle. I ran and ran until I crossed the borders with my brother.

This will change. We will live a better life. We will never go back. I will love and bring up my baby brother with all my might. I will never let him face anything bad.

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