𝐌𝐘 𝐂𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐁𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 | 𝒋𝒐𝒔𝒉𝒖𝒂 𝒃𝒂𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒕𝒕

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑. 𝟏𝟗

QOTD: okay a serious one...what's more iconic under pressure or seven nation army?

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Adeline's POV

𝐖𝐄 𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐎𝐔𝐑 hotel in the evening, three rooms across the third floor. We eventually started chatting the whole ride there since Chelsea was with us. However, when we all arrived to our rooms and Chelsea took an online meeting, the uncomfortable silence with side-eyeing restarted. This was my fault, and I wasn't going to let my scared ass ruin this weekend.

I had done this before at the family dinner, and I didn't want to admit what the two scenarios had in common. Jordan. For some crazy reason, when the fans caught us on camera, the first thought that entered my mind was that Jordan was going to see this - how would he react?

In the back of my mind as we all talked in the cab I tried to decipher why that happened. And after the constant deliberation, I delved into my deepest feelings, to see if I somehow was lying to myself that I still had feelings for the boy; if the toxicity never left my bloodstream.

But I really couldn't, I just realized that I never got the closure I desired from Jordan. There was so much concern about if he'd come clean to my family still, why he betrayed me in the first place, why he came back recently, there were so many unanswered questions and I just wanted - to feel free again.

So I knew I had to apologise to Joshua properly for what I was putting him through, because my actions were so hot and cold and I could admit it. I liked the brown-eyed boy with messy hair. There was a possibility of mixing the boyfriend fantasy with reality, but I didn't want to be afraid of it anymore.

"God it's so much fucking colder than I imagined it would be" I announced as I re-entered his room. I had put my weekender bag on my bed, had a quick shower and psyched myself up in the mirror before coming back to Josh's room.

"Yeah I uh - noticed you shivering a bit in the cab, probably shoulda warned you to pack an extra jacket" he replied with an awkward laugh at the end. That wasn't a lie though, after the cold flight and commute, I felt like I was coming down with something.

"So, we have the night to ourselves before heading to East High, I'm thinking...continue watching Breaking Bad?" I asked chirpily. My weird voice got another chuckle out of Josh and he sat on the bed and faced me.

"You know I can never say no to that" he responded and I grinned. But I could tell he was being polite - he always was - but polite to not show his true gloom.

"Okay perfect but um, can we address the elephant in the room first?" I added and Josh's focus came back to me, he was surprised that I wanted to confront this - for once.

"I'm, really sorry if I upset you at the airport, I didn't mean for it to come off like - like I didn't want to be seen with you or anything -"

"Whaaa, I'm not upset who said I'm upset" he said with a progressively higher pitched voice, I shook my head at hi and he smiled with defeat. The boy wore his heart on his sleeve who was he kidding.

"It was nothing like that it's just, okay I'm not gonna lie I'm scared of how good these fans are at finding stuff out, like you don't spend that much time on Instagram but I do - did- and...it's fucking crazy and it's like I always see the worst case scenarios and I made my account private anyway to like lessen my exposure" I rambled and Josh stood up from the bed and walked a step closer.

"No...I'm sorry, I was just thinking from a Josh and Addie point of view but not, Addie versus the world kinda thing. Kinda forgot that everything that's seen in public can spread that bad and it would make someone like you..."