SCARRED

Chapter 15

TUESDAY - TESTING WATERS

Her eyes were focused on the ceiling, outlining every dividing line, every crack and every stain. She didn't seem to notice the orange light that was seeping through her half opened window as she willed herself to sleep. Her eyes were beginning to ache and itch, she was sure they were most probably red and swollen, not only from insomnia but also from the tears she had shed for hours. She wanted to sleep but she couldn't even close her eyes. She felt terrified.

Her alarm screeched from her side and she turned it off immediately. She had no plans of stepping out of the house, it was just like before when it had just happened. She wasn't willing to risk her safety. Besides, she was not going to show up to school looking lifeless, she was sure that she looked like a character out of a scary movie.

She groaned and turned on to her other side before covering herself from the cold she felt. She hesitantly closed her eyes, secretly hoping that not one scene of the memory would flash in her head. She managed to close her eyes, about to fall asleep when a knock on her door had her jolting up. She looked at the door with wide eyes, beads of sweat forming on her forehead and nose as her insides went all panicky on her. There was a knock again, and she realised that she hadn't locked the door. Before she could think of springing up from her bed and going to close the door, it creaked open and a head came perking in.

Her wide eyes went back to normal as she calmed herself on seeing Kemi's face.
"You are not getting ready for school?" Kemi asked her looking her over suspiciously before stopping at her tired face.
"You didn't sleep did you?" She demanded from Anna who was still staying where she was, unmoving.
"Nightmares?" She walked slowly and carefully to Anna who looked drained. Anna stared dazed at her sister, only making Kemi even more scared.
"Anna what's wrong?" She asked again before reaching out to hug her. Anna flinched away involuntarily. She had no control whatsoever on her own body.

"Something is wrong?" Kemi looked at Anna as if begging her to say what it is. Anna raised her hand to touch her sister's hand before squeezing it.
"I'm here Anna. I'll keep telling you that. When you are ready I'm going to be here to listen." Her voice wavered as she let her tears drop. Anna nodded her head in understanding as she also cried.
"You don't have to go to school today, you can skip. Just take time off and relax." Kemi assured before getting up and leaving. It took everything in her to not hug her sister.

Anna stared at the door that Kemi had just left through. She was happy that her sister had thought of her, that she didn't have to think about going outside. She locked the doors and windows, scared of anyone entering into her room. She calmed herself down a little before doing what she knew how to do best, she cleaned. She rearranged the already organised dressing table, putting everything on it in a different position. She searched for her methylated spirit that she had used for her wounds and cuts, she poured it generously on a blob of cotton wool before wiping her mirror. After doing that, she hurried to her wardrobe. Scattered and arranged her clothes in order of colours. She was always obsessed with colours and patterns. She went to the shoe rack and reached out to scatter them when one of the shoes fell on her leg making her wince in pain. She opened her mouth to let out a cry, but nothing came out just the tears. She held her foot in her hands as she hopped into bed.

The leg wasn't even that bad she thought to herself. It was probably only going to swell a little. She looked around her room, she suddenly didn't feel the urge to tidy her already tidied room. She limped to the shoe rack, picked the fallen shoe and placed it back where it belonged before going back to her bed. She was exhausted, very much tired she decided that it was going to be better if she rested. She was going to need enough energy to be able to go to school the next day.
She rested her head on her pillow only able to wish that the nightmares didn't reach her in broad daylight.
She closed her eyes about to sleep when she felt her phone vibrate and ring beside her. It was as if the universe didn't want her to fall asleep.
She grabbed the phone and stared straight at it, trying to make sense of what was on her screen.