Be True To Yourself...Book 1 of the Silver Moon Shifter Series

Lost Inside Myself

Date spot up top!!

Liam POV

"Are you ready to go Liam?" I nod looking at Reece.

If you're wondering where I'm going, it's to a recovery retreat center for a while. It's located in Nevada. Things aren't getting better and it's starting to affect everyone. I don't want to be a burden anymore and before you ask, the entire family is going so technically I'm not doing this alone. While I'm needed to do something on my own they'll be at the retreat but if we're doing group stuff or family-oriented stuff they'll be there.

I wish they were able to be with me all the time but the retreat wants me to rebuild my independence and confidence without the need for my family.

Things with Caleb were really on the rocks after I was found. He knew it was a bad idea to go after Nikolai and didn't speak to me for a month. We're ok now though which I'm glad about.

With all the injuries and how much recovery time was needed, I was in the hospital for a total of three months give or take a week. All my wounds have healed except the brands and of course his mate marks with little scarring thanks to some scar cream whipped up by Reece's friend Miranda, she's a nice witch.

I can now get erections like before thanks to the cosmetic surgeon who was amazing and it took a few surgeries to repair me to the best of his ability, but they don't last as long as they used to which I was bummed out about but at least I can get one again. My testicles though had to be removed when I was first brought to the hospital because they were "dead" to put it in words I understood so that means I will never have an orgasm with no way to produce sperm so no kids if my mate is female, I always say he since I'm gay but we don't know who are mates are despite our sexuality. I asked the doctor to not tell anyone about that part of my surgery because I don't want the looks or sympathy of losing a part of my manhood. Hell I don't even have a womb so I can't have kids either way which yeah it sucks not having balls, I feel like less of a man and not able to have kids, I don't know which to feel worse about. Nikolai really fucked me over big time over the years.

The tracker was luckily removed with little side effects other than some back pain.

Sebastian kept his word and on his off days would use a magic necklace to pop in to see me which I was happy about, he is so sweet and caring, also really hot.

Connor and Jaylen have been my doctor and therapist like before which I was even more thrilled about. I also wear hoodies all the time and socks on my feet and sweatpants, I don't let anyone see my scarred body, I don't even like to see myself so I also avoid mirrors.

I know I look disgusting, there is no way I look how I used to, not with the brands all over me and his mate marks. Sebastian tells me I look good but I think he's just saying that to be nice.

If I ever meet my mate, he is definitely going to reject me and if he does, I won't blame him

"Ready when you are." Reece smiled and I smiled back a little.

I feel bad I put everyone through hell worrying about me. My little bean could have lost a father all because he was focused on me.

As we drove off to the retreat I couldn't help wondering what Weston thinks. I know he knows what happened. Everyone does. I still haven't seen him since I returned to the US so I'm sure he has some strong feelings about that as well.

"You want to play?" I heard Caleb ask and showed me his handheld PSP. I put my arm around his shoulders and he showed me the game and what to do. I have no idea how to play so when I would die, he giggled and shook his head but he would show me how to do the right moves to beat the guy I was fighting.