My Rebellious Soul. [Kim Teahyung FF]

Nothing is gonna change.

Sarah's pov:

     It's been two weeks, I moved in with the Kim Family. Nothing feels right. Everything is so messed up. All these days, Teahyung completely ignored my existence. He would spend all day outside and came back in the room at night.

   I didn't know where he spend all his day, Mr and Mrs Kim scolded him a few times but he always played it off by his laughs and jokes. I would tell them that he loved me and I was the best thing that happened to him, all his life. But he wasn't getting anywhere with those lies, his own family suspected him.

I guess everyone noticed his behavior.
  
    The moment Taehyung would step in the room, I would sit on the sofa at the corner of the room, my back facing him. I stopped sleeping at night and got a few hours sleep in the afternoon while he was away to God knows where. But today he went back to Seoul. I don't know if that's good for me or not. He was such an actor, I wonder why noone had given him an Oscar already. He sweetly embraced me and then kiss my forehead before leaving for the airport, of course it was a show to convince his parents.

   Midnight, everyone asleep already. I opened the huge glass window/door which leads me to the balcony. I stand under the moonlight, staring at the sky filled with millions, gazillions of stars. I love looking at the sky at night.
It somehow make me feel more lonely...

   I miss my small apartment, where it was just me and me and me and did I mention me? And there was no Kim freaking Teahyung! Who destroyed my life even more than it already was.  If he didn't like me, he could have just said so. I would have cancel the marriage, I wouldn't have agreed!

    From the past few days, her words kept ringing in my mind over and over again. "Mom would you be happy if I tell you about this?" The words came out of my mouth like whispers. Tears build up in my eyes, threatening to fell down. "You said I will never live happily! Guess your words became true. Mom would you be happy?"

"I am not gonna live happily ever again! Nothing is gonna change, my life would be dull like it was.."

    Sliding down along the railing, my hands still grasping the top of the fence and my head low.  Once that first tear broke free, the rest followed in an unbroken stream. I bent forward where I sat on the floor and pressing her palms to the mat, I began to cry with the force of a person vomiting on all fours. I asked myself why was I silent about this matter, why I haven't told anyone about it and why was I staying? But I didn't have any answers.

     Those emotions bottled up inside me, I finally let them out. It's the first time I've cried here after that night Taehyung told me he didn't like women like me...

But.. You can't break a broken heart Kim Taehyung...

**

    "Noona!" Jong Gyu yelled as he barged right into the room. I was quitely reading a book, "that cover seems so boring" he said. I closed the book and smiled at him, he is really sweet, in fact the whole Kim Family is so super sweet. "Yes Jong Gyu" I placed the book on the side table. Beside them all being super nice, I just wanted to keep to myself as much as possible, so I spent most of the time in his bedroom. "Let's go out he beamed, let's ice-cream. My treat."

"But I don't feel like going out."

     "Unnie it's once in a blue moon oppa treats us with his own money. He is very. very stingy" Eon Jin huffed, folding her arms over her chest. "Let's go, eomma and Appa are waiting for us" Jong Gyu said after giving Eon Jin a brief glare. "OK let me change" I heaved a sigh. It would be rude to refuse.

    "Noona you look perfect, let's go" Jong Gyu linked my right arm while Eon Jin took my left. "Yeah you are so pretty" she chimed. There compliments meant nothing when I felt ugly on the inside.

   I wanted to hate them for what Taehyung had done with me but I couldn't bring myself to do so. Their love and care felt genuine unlike my own family, I felt as if they were making up for Taehyung's hate towards me, but they didn't know what was happening between Taehyung and I. Silently, I was just playing along with him.

    "So are you ladies going to the shopping mall?" Mr Kim asked. "Yes, it's been a while- when was the last time we went for shopping, Eon Jin?" Ms Kim said. Instead of Eon Jin, Jong Gyu replied eomma "it was just two weeks ago, when you couldn't find matching earrings with your dress. And it took you guys three hours to find the 'perfect one' " he quoted.

    "Of course I wanted to look perfect for my boy's big day, so everything needed to be perfect!" Mrs Kim smiled proudly. "It was such a lovely day, right honey?" Mr Kim nodded his head. "I was proud of my son" he added, "he grew up fast. And in such an early age his got so busy with his life."

    "Yes" Mrs Kim smiled once again. "Eomma am I not a good son!" Jong Gyu whined. "No, of course love. I love you all the same" she replied quickly. "Do you love me?" Jong gyu asked in a baby tone and Mrs Kim replied lovingly. "Yes." I know Jong Gyu was just joking, but I was internally cringed.

   "Mom was Jong Gyu an accident?" Eon Jin asked sternly. "Yes" Mrs Kim's answer made everyone burst out, laughter filled the car. "What? No no no!" Mrs Kim soon realized, "I thought you said Jong Gyu got into accident."

   "No mom that's the exact opposite of what I said" Eon Jin said in between laughs "eomma!" Jong Gyu was taken aback by the sudden outburst. "No my son wasn't an accident!" Mrs Kim took his son's side. "Well not for you but for me.." Mr Kim stopped, pulling a face, he laughed once again with his daughter.

     I sat rather quietly, listening there friendly jokes was a new experience. Seeing other parents love their and there were mine how sad.

**

     "Eomma you asked for me?" I asked while she sat in the living room with a cup of tea. "Yeah honey your mom called me, she's been trying to contact you but she said you are not answering?" she replied.

   "Actually I was in Eon Jin's room and my phone wasn't with me" I told her, "I'll go call her" I smiled which she returned, closing the door her bedroom, I started for my own.

   "Hello?" I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "Sarah sweetie, where were you? I've been constantly calling on your phone. Well anyways how are you?" She spoke so sweetly, her tone was so motherly. It really brought tears to my eyes.

"I'm fine."

    "Is everything alright there? How are things going on, dear?"

"Everything is going on well."

     "Really? But you sound sad. Is something bothering you? Are you not happy? Is Taehyung not treating you good-"

    "These questioned was supposed to be asked before. And if there is something that's bothering me, can you fix it? If I say I am not happy with this marriage, can you change the fact that I am married? Huh?" I asked, my voice tainted with anger and the stupid painful lump forming in my throat, I was trying to keep my voice clear. "Do you remember?" I asked, "you said 'I curse you, you will not live happily ever!' " I repeated her words to her. "Then why do you care, if I'm living peacefully or not!"

  "That was in the past Sarah, they were just angry words!" She sounded desperate and defeated. Maybe she was crying. "Mom..." I breathed as tears rolled down from my eyes, "you have fulfilled all your duties as a mother" I wiped my tears, "you clothed me, fed me, educated me, you raised me and now married me to a good stable man." I paused to swallow the thick saliva in my mouth, maybe she thought I was going to thank her, "but it all ends here. I know I'm selfish. I will never return those favors back."

   "I really am the snake you should have tossed out of everyone's lives, sooner." She didn't replied, just sighed and I hung up the call.