How to Survive a Naruto Reincarnation

Step 6: Study your surroundings.

While Sasuke was being called to the meeting room, I stood in the hall, just in front of the door of the empty classroom. And with perfect timing, I saw Naruto coming down the hall, looking satisfied with himself. 

"Hey, you're Uzumaki Naruto, aren't you?" I ask.

"Uh? Who are you?" He squinted, peering up at me. 

"I'm your new counselor, call me Serena," I deadpanned and not at all enthusiastic (I need to deal with Sasuke soon after all and he's not the most friendly guy I've met).

"Serena?" he echoed faintly, as I steamrolled over him. 

 "And I just moved in recently, so how are you?" 

"I didn't see anyone moving in," he squinted harder as if racking his brain to remember if he had seen me around lately. "Are you--" 

"I live on the far end side," I say. "It juts a little way that way down the road and I'm sure you'll find it." I gesture vaguely down the hall. 

"...Huh. Then welcome! I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm going to be the Hokage one day!" He chirped, his ever-present line presented to whoever would listen. 

I let out a chuckle, "Yeah?" 

"You better believe it!" 

"Of course," I grin, and Naruto beaming back. "I believe it. But also, be prepared for the unholy amount of shenanigans you are going to go through soon enough." 

"Huh?" 

"You see, there's this...thing called elders. Ten out of ten would recommend, and they definitely won't cause you heartache and stress in the future." 

"Oh, okay!" 

Ah, sarcasm. I'm grateful that talking in such a way hasn't gotten me in trouble yet. 

*****

After the brief chat with Naruto, I went inside the classroom to wait. Then, the door opened to reveal Sasuke at the doorway.

I tried hard not to look too surprised. He's a little shorter than I remembered. 

I keep forgetting kids his age are middle schoolers who are also trained killers who have yet to go through puberty. Also, I'm twice their age and twice their height.  

"Hello, Uchiha Sasuke. I'm Meela Serena. The school hired me to be one of the counselors on staff. You and a few other students will be assigned to me until you graduate from the Academy. Come have a seat!" 

Stern-Faced Shorty silently walked closer and sat in the chair empty across from me. He clearly was not prepared to meet me for some counseling. 

Or whatever Iruka told him. 

We stared at each other for a moment. 

"Right, okay. Since Itachi was forced to massacre the Uchiha clan and hence shaped your personality and you have no other healthy coping skills, I'm here to teach that." 

If Sasuke's neutral expression was blank before, it was somehow even more devoid of any emotion. His eyes reflected a chilly cold that built a barrier between me and him, as if he was actively cutting off his emotions from a triggering topic. 

I'm kinda impressed. Maybe his face can be a portable freezer for food.

Since he hadn't exploded yet, I continued on, "Great. Today, we're gonna try breathing in and out." 

"You don't know anything." I was impressed with his tone. For a middle schooler. 

"Well, I do know that breathing is a crucial part of coping so yeah we do need to practice that. But hey, I'm down to try other skills and see what works for you." 

He only glowered at me in stony silence. 

"Anyways, Itachi--"

His Sharingan flashed dangerously back at me. "SHUT UP!" he yelled, slamming his fist into the blackboard, making a sizeable crack and dent. I continued.

"Woah, even his name is a trigger for you. Breathe in, dude." 

"That traitor...I will kill him with my own hands!" 

"Okay, yeah. Your attitude of violence = solution is a problem. First of all, you're getting mad at the wrong person."

"He killed my parents...my cousins...he killed everyone I cared about!" 

"Alright, hear me out. You have a gut reaction. I'm asking you to hold on and listen. It won't take long. Take a deep breath in and out." 

Sasuke, to his credit, did visibly deflate somewhat. Guess there's a reason why he's considered mature for his age. 

"In a nutshell, Itachi was forced to kill his clan and then turn rogue and forever be a 'traitor' to Konoha. But then Itachi's great idea was to make a whole drama script so that you--specifically you--would aim to kill him. And uh, you are playing right into his hand."

"Enough."

He whipped his back to me and stalked out of the door. The door slammed behind him, echoing loudly off the walls.

Fair enough. I did start talking about the most triggering thing for him.

But unfortunately for him, he and I have mandatory counseling sessions.