Will the voices ever stop mom? (todobaku)

Update sensitive topic

  I just in the beginning of this book I was not stable but also not unstable.

   I just now realized what I'm going through and what a certain person has been putting me through is not right and just now realizing the thing they've done to me and me letting it happen.
   I personally don't know how to deal with it and it pains me so much because for years I thought this person loved me.

And me rereading this book a little kinda reminds me of my relationship and labels i so easily put for the events in this book should have made me realize what what happening to me.

And the way when i didnt want it it still happened and when i didnt listen i got taught a lesson and I didnt realize that I was in some twisted way repeating the events into this book.

And it pains me to even write but it has to be said because some people may need to hear to be able to speak up and walk out before it's to late.

For about 4 an a half years I had been with a person who has sexually abused me they forced me to engage in intercourse and told me they loved me and I believed it.

I told myself it was love when it wasnt from the times they held me down and did things and left me there to clean up the mess fo pick myself up and act like everything was all right.

Or the times where I begged for them to stop or the times where I had to put foundation on and a smile and sit through a dinner with your family.

That wasnt love not even a little I was an innocent back then I trusted you and it turned out and bite me in the back.

I'm not proud of what you did to me but I'm will not be ashamed for something that was out of my control, I will not be ashamed because I chose to believe in someone I thought loved me.

And Weather my readers believes or not me and this person knows that it happen the records know that something happen.

You do not have power of me anymore and if somehow you find this and read this.

I want  to wipe that smock look of your face because I'm not taking personal time because I'm heartbroken you left me im taking because im picking up the pieces you left behind.