Lost in Austen: Reborn

Chapter 15 - The Great Disappointment

"There will be little rubs and disappointments everywhere, and we are all apt to expect too much; but then, if one scheme of happiness fails, human nature turns to another; if the first calculation is wrong, we make a second better: we find comfort somewhere." - Jane Austen

Lucas Lodge was a short walk away. I felt a need to speak to someone other than kin. Charlotte always gave sound advice, and I needed to hear the truth. Armed with a basket of apples and a fruitcake, I walked towards my friend's home. With Christmas around the corner, I had a feeling that I would see more festivities in Hertfordshire. A viridescent wreath hung on the door, and I admired it, happy to see something familiar. I was welcomed into the home with the same warmth as if I was a family member.

"I bring good tidings!" I lifted the basket with a smile.

Charlotte smiled and gave me a hug. She took the basket from me and asked, "How is everything at Longbourn?"

She walked me to the sitting room and poured us both cups of tea. I shrugged, "As good as it can get."

I narrated to her what happened to me at the Netherfield Ball. Even though she had been there, she did not know what befell on the balcony, and I told her, not holding back any details. She listened without judgment on her face. When I finished, I inquired, "What do you make of this?"

Charlotte sipped her tea, "I am disconcerted. Did he ever tell his real feelings?"

"No."

"And," Charlotte inquired, "have you made your feelings known?"

I shook my head, "No."

"Then, who is he to say that you are not what you seem?" Charlotte scoffed, "It is he that is the paradox."

"It is possible that he does not know how I feel."

Charlotte pulled the fruitcake out of the basket and cut two pieces. She handed me my plate, "He would have to be intolerably stupid to not understand."

I took a bite of the cake, "Yes, or he could be trying to save me from embarrassment. I did flirt with him in Meryton."

"There is nothing wrong with that. It is not as though you have become Lydia."

"Heaven forbid!" I laughed. "Oh! I forgot to tell you something!"

"What is it?"

"Our cousin Mr. Collins is visiting. I would love for you to meet him. I do not want to take any liberties, but I do feel he is a good match for you."

Charlotte's face lit up and hope entered her eyes. She was twenty-seven and passed over because of her age. Mother said that it was most likely because Charlotte was not beautiful. But, I always thought it was not attached to beauty. I believed the actual reason that Charlotte remained unmarried was because no one knew her real worth, her merit. To be thought of as a potential match for someone made her feel special, even if it was Mr. Collins.

"I will talk it over with my parents," Charlotte concluded, "they will take care of this matter. We will see each other again at Longbourn."

"Yes, and then, you two will meet. Ah, but, forewarning, he comes armed with a book of sermons."

"Well," Charlotte laughed, "that is understandable. He is a clergyman, after all."

"See how understanding you are!" I laughed, "I am convinced that you are the only woman for him!"

I stood up, for, it was time to go. We were all getting ready to decorate Longbourn for a Christmas party. We extended an invite to those at Netherfield but had yet to receive a reply.