Lost in Austen: Reborn

Chapter 14 - Of Marriageable Age

"Next to being married, a girl likes to be crossed in love a little now and then." - Jane Austen

It was midnight, and the Netherfield Ball was in full swing. It showed no signs of completion. It seemed this ball would not end until dawn. All were exhausted, but, leaving the party would have meant missing the tiny occurrences that make balls memorable, and we could not have that. I sat myself down in a chair with no intention of moving for the remainder of the night. Seats were scarce, and I was lucky enough to get one. Darcy stood next to the fireplace, resting his elbow on the mantel. He was not interested in conversing with anyone that attempted; a simple nod was all he gave.

Kitty walked towards me. She pouted, "There are no more chairs left. I am exhausted. Will we be going home soon?"

I shook my head, "Not if our mother can help it."

She yawned as she proceeded to sit on the floor next to my chair. Away from Lydia, Kitty was a sweet young girl. Lydia brought out the worst in her and for some strange reason; Kitty allowed herself to be led. She let Lydia lead her into all kinds of schemes. They were two years apart, and Lydia had her older sister wrapped around her finger. Though Kitty was weak-spirited and irritable, I glimpsed a shred of humility in her as she laid her head upon my lap. I stroked Kitty's curls and smiled down at her as she fell asleep. I hoped Lydia's tyranny would soon stop not only for the family's sake, but for Kitty's as well.

I looked up and watched the dancing couples. My sleepy eyes focused on Darcy. He had still not changed position as he monopolized one side of the fireplace. A few people sat upon the hearth, warming their backs against the crackling fire. He angled them a look as if irritated they had the gall to sit next to him. I found myself smiling at this, finding amusement in the situation. If I had not known Darcy's name, I would have called him Mr. Broody McBroody Pants. As soon as our eyes met, he walked out of the room.

***

After the party, Jane and I stayed up to discuss the ball. She and I sat on the bed and talked about Darcy, Bingley, and Caroline as though they were dear old companions. Dear, Caroline was not, but friends; I trusted that we could use that word to describe Darcy and Bingley. I desired, in secret, that Darcy thought of me as more, but I would take what I could get.

"He danced nearly every dance with me!" Jane sighed with a languid grin. I smiled as she went on, "And when I rested my feet, he would not dance and stood next to Darcy."

I chuckled, "Mr. Darcy..."

"He would do well for you," Jane suggested. She looked into the distance, "Imagine, you and I, married a mere month apart! It would be less of a burden for mama."

"Is that how you feel? A burden?"

Jane did not answer. I went on, "You are anything but! Jane, mother has made it her duty to marry us off to perfect gentlemen of her choosing. She has forgotten about our happiness. We must not compromise our happiness for family obligations."

"Mama only worries about us."

"I know," I sighed." She recognizes we need suitable marriages for our survival. We do not have any brothers. Longbourn will fall to Collins, and we will have nothing. If we are all married by the time Collins inherits, the shock of losing our home will be insignificant."

"If only I knew how Bingley felt."

"He loves you."

"If only I knew..." Jane's smile faded.

Jane was holding onto hope, and it was a tiring thing to do. In the pit of my stomach, I felt an uneasiness that I could not explain. I was confused about how Mr. Darcy felt about me. I was starting to believe this was a waste of time. Was there another way to get home without following the story through?

"Mr. Darcy," I looked away, "was a complete waste of my time."

"What happened?"

"He told me that I was not who I seem."

Jane sent me a look of confusion, "Perhaps, he did not mean it in that context."

"He seemed afraid. Afraid to get to know me and of the consequences that would result from such an action. I did not think he would be this way."

"Lizzy," Jane inquired, "Do you think he is in love with you?"

"I do not know. My torment is not knowing. I do wish he were in more distress than I. He appears to revel in causing me pain."

"Perchance, he is in torment as well."

"Oh Jane," I sighed sagely, "How I wish that were the case."

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