the mind of a teenager.

fears

fear. the emotion everyone has. fears are what stem from these feelings. simple fears like the fear of heights or the fear of clowns can be easily conquered by forcing someone on top of a high place and for the fear of clowns teach the person clowns don't want to hurt them. the fear of growing older? that's simple. picture yourself happy in life at a old age. fear of death? make sure there is never dull moment so that you always made sure to live life to the fullest.how about the fears that are harder to overcome. my fears. the fears i try to overcome everyday but always fail.

- fear of sleep 
- fear of social interaction
-fear of rejection
-fear of loneliness
-fear of being trapped by people

these are the fears i face due to the voices that tricked me into believing them again and again. they told me i should reserve myself. but to fear being left alone. they told me to always go for what i want and to be selfish. but yet told me to fear it. my fear of being trapped by people comes from the suffocating feeling i get when my thoughts attack me. it's not the persons fault but when there's a large crowd i panic and feel as though they will turn out like the voices. my fear of sleep comes from the darkness that was once my safe place. the voices invaded and changed it into a place i don't want to step foot in again. in the darkness the voices control of my sleep and my dreams. to torture me they turn them to nightmares so i return to them sooner. it's just another way for them to attack and isolate me but my biggest fear can't be cured no matter how hard i try. i have a fear of myself and what i am capable of. i'm terrified of what i've become. i still remember when i was the overly hyper girl with a huge smile on her face. she was never phased by anything. an here i am . trying desperately to bring her back. i miss her . i know everyone does too. the new me is just what's left. antisocial. anxious. sad. all the negative emotions i never showed now burst out of me. i can't keep my filter forever and it's sadly already broken. my suicidal thoughts that i once feared are now all i want. i can't seem to keep pretending to be this girl i'm not. please help me escape. i can't take this anymore.