the mind of a teenager.

silence.

one thing i've always wanted since the voices took over was silence. just one moment where everything stopped. the voices were quiet. the world around me was silent. call me selfish but i think that is what i deserve after all this pain. all this torture. the darkness was always silent but the voices took it away. some say silence is scary. but i love it. a time when everyone just respects the space around them and are quiet. that's why i love going out late at night. everyone is in their bed and i'm walking the cold and empty roads. night walks are the only activity i have left that the voices haven't ruined yet. the night breeze may be cold. but it gives my reassurance as to the fact i'm alive. i've become numb to pain. but the weather let's me know i'm still alive. sometimes i listen to music whilst i walk. music calms me down a lot thats why i have a strong connection with it. although it means i can't hear the silence i still know it is. i get a nice feeling when i know it's silent. it feels better than being at home. sometimes silence can be hard when i am in a stressful situation like a test. but i tap my fingers to the beat of music on my thigh. sometimes i carry my notebook when i walk. i sit down in a lighted area and write how nice it feels. staying out to sunrise is better. the birds come. although it isn't silent the birds calm my nerves. and watching all the colours in the sky warms my heart. whilst the sun is rising i take photos of it. i have always been a fan of photography. the silence is the last safe place i have. if that gets taken from me i don't know what i'd do. please moon don't let them take my silence away. love, your star