The Two Middles

Chapter 30: You're Like An Older Brother

"So let me get this straight: neither of you said anything the whole car ride?"

"Yep."

"Aubrey, what the hell is wrong with you? I've told you to try!"

"To hell with trying! He doesn't talk to me for ages, he makes me cry, he breaks my guitar, and then he gives me a freaking car ride home because apparently I can't handle a little rain. Who does he even think he is? I'm sorry but I'm not going to fall to his feet and take any chance he gives me to talk to his holiness! If he wants to talk, he should initiate! He should set things straight with me, he should care, and he should apologize. I'm not so desperate to just go along with anything he puts me through!"

"Look, Aubrey. He does care. Why else would he stop in the middle of the road to give you a ride home."

"Because it was pouring cats and dogs and it wouldn't exactly make him look amazing if he just drove past and left me abandoned in the rain. It's a gesture, Ian. I would've done the same for him. Hell, I would've done the same for Blair Carter. No matter what, normal people have some shred of humanity in themselves. And Jaden isn't abnormal, just a major idiot."

"Fine, you look me in the eyes and tell me you are ready to give up on him forever."

"I'm not ready to give up on him forever, Ian. I'm really not. I just don't feel like trying anymore."

"How much have you even tried?! Aubrey, you haven't tried! Trying isn't calling someone multiple times a day and stopping when they don't answer! Trying isn't texting and losing hope when you don't get a reply! That isn't trying, Aubrey!"

"Yeah?" I asked. "And what do you know?"

I didn't get mad. I knew, somewhere deep down that Ian was totally right. I really hadn't tried at all. I hadn't even tried to try.

"I know, okay? I've spent hours everyday trying to get this girl to like me. I've spent months developing a mere friendship with her. I've done everything I possibly could to keep her interested in me. And I still haven't given up. Aubrey, try. I know you want Jaden back, okay? Just please don't give up on him."

"It's too late for trying anymore," I forced myself to glare at his eyes. "I'm over him."

Ian blinked. Once, twice, thrice. "You're what?"

Again, I looked straight at his eyes, "I'm over Jaden."

It was the hardest thing to say, but the first step to believing was saying it. I'm over Jaden. I'm over Jaden. I'm over Jaden. I'm over Jaden.

I don't need a guy to keep me going. I'm alive, aren't I? I don't need Jaden. It's all cool. I don't need him. I don't need him. I don't need him.

"I'm over Jaden. I don't like him anymore. I have every right to give up."

Ian shook his head. I'd never seen him so disappointed. And to think he was so disappointed in me, I almost took back what I said.  He shook his head again and shot me a sad smile. "Okay, then. See you after school." And just like that, he walked off to first period.

***

I stood there, waiting in the parking lot, leaning against Ian's car. He was late. I mean, late for him. One thing about Ian was, he'd never been one for tardiness. He always found time to be on time for everything, unless something important came up. He was supposed to meet me directly after school, right here, at his car, but it's been almost ten minutes, and he still isn't here.  There's still a lot of cars in the parking lot, except Jaden's. It's Friday. He didn't bring his car. For all I knew, he'd alrady left.