A marriage for Sex {JeonJungkook FF}

Goodbye

Haneul/Rina POV

It took me a few seconds to realise what was happening, I couldn’t believe his lips were attached to mine. Hands holding my hair and pinning one of arms.

I didn’t push him away neither did I kiss back. What was I supposed to do? since a long time, I always knew his feelings towards me. As if destiny is pulling back together to give us another chance to put term to our old relationship.

Seconds or maybe more passed before he pull back, and regain a sitting position at the end of the couch.

“I don’t regret it”  He mumbled

“I know you don't” I informed looking at his head hanging down and tired posture.

“why them and not me?” He asked

“Because you are someone I treasure and they are just random people in my life”

“You are cheating on Jungkook, you are his wife” he critisiezed.

“No, I am not, I am Ji-haneul, no one’s wife or girlfriend, The cold stone lady who love sex” I tried to seem normal saying those words but it disgusted me.

“Huh? you want to say a whore” after saying the word his eyes directly shout at me, he regretted it I am sure of it, I couldn’t be hurt, it was the truth. I’ve been hoeing around.

“Call it whatever you want, I am free to do whatever the hell I want”

“then why not me? “

“Because you love me and it will just make it worse and you will end up heart broken and there will be a lot of Drama” I explained again. The main reason I never attempting anything with him because he was someone precious to me and I was still in love. Deeply in love with someone else.

“I used to love you because I thought you were Haesungie but not anymore, as for the fact that I am your ex-husband’s friend, you just said you were not Rina but Haneul then why not?”

“What if I am Haesung?”

“Huh?” Taehyung just choked in the water he was gluping down and he started coughing.”What do you mean?” He asked again when he was able to breath normally again.

“I am Haesung” I annonced. How many name should I have until I finally disappear.

“Can you please explain?”

“My real name is Haesung, the one I was given at birth and I am that girl you met years ago, here is why it can never be you”

“how come? how ? it can’t be the case and it will never be” he was stuttering in his words.

“Taehyung I can’t explain with details, but it’s the case and you are free to accept it or no”

“is it one more secret of yours? is it one more things you can’t tell me now? how much secrets do you have? How much time should I keep hiding your existence? do you know how hard is it to lie to them everyday while looking at them?”

“It was your choice, don’t you dare blame me for it"

"Yes it was but I didn’t think you are able to be this cold hearted , it’s been 6 Fucking months and you still have no intention of telling anyone. I sleep everyday scared you will not be here. I feel like you are a lucid dream and every morning I am about to wake up. Every time I see there is something new in your life. A new mystery. I have no idea who is the person in front of me but sure enough you are not Rina i used to know anymore. I can't do it anymore. I am sorry but unless you want me to leave you need to exolain everything to me now. With all the details ! "

I didn't utter a world my heart was yelling at me to spill everything I discovered Today to him and my mind is begging me to not say a word because I will regret it. 

Minutes passed and I still couldn't bring myself to say anything. Myself or him ? This question again. The consequence of telling him were too scary. Losing someone became my comfort zone so I don't mind it anymore.

" So you will not explain,  I understand"

"I am sorry Tae,I can't now"

" we say sorry when we make mistakes because we want forgiveness but you kept saying sorry for breaking my trust and our trust. It's hard to forget and trust again"

" I am sorry" Tears started forming at the edge of my eyes but I can't cry. Haneul doesn't cry and especially in front of people other than her bodyguard.

"As of today, you are dead for real, Goodbye Rina or haneul or Haesung, whatever your name is. You are fake anyway."

And he left. And his words hurt.
And Again it was a goodbye. Where is the good in the ending ?

You pushed him away from you.
You did not trust him with anything, Oh honey you didn't even give him a reassurance that you did. No phone and no meeting outside. No secrets explained even when you said you are the girl he was waiting for years and years. My conscious was a bitch.

It was your choice so assume the consequences.

V POV

I couldn't sleep for a week now and I can see the worry in my hyungs eyes. I barely eat and I am silent. Jimin tried everything to make me talk but I was unable to tell him the truth. I just kept saying " I am fine just tired"

It's a Sunday morning and like every night I am unable to find peace and sleep. 

I decided to go to her house. I don't know how she will react but I need to find a way to talk to her. This situation is killing me.

--------

She opened the door wearing a long man shirt, her hair was messy, eyes barely open and she was angry. 'She was never an early bird'

Hearing a male voice in the house made me pissed off and I didn't know why but seeing her kissing from the small fent on the door she didn't close well behind her drove me crazy. How dare he ? 
And it was my friend which made it worse. 

She was Jungkook's wife and despite my feelings for her, I never dared to do it so how can he?

When she walked in the room and started explaining the situation the only thing I was focusing on is the small hickey on her neck and her moving lips.

And I just kissed her. Call it a mistake! Call it a treason! Call it anything you want. I just call it I did whatever my heart wanted and I don't regret it.

She didn't react nor pushed me yet not kissing me didn't hurt as much as the news she dropped right after.

But as always she was unable to explain things. I think this was my breakdown. 

The last few months were a nightmare to me. From one side I was living with the people I loved the most and keeping such a big secrets from them. Everyday I was hidong and breaking their trust more and from the other side I was afraid she will not be there and all that is just a dream I am going to wake up from. 

Telling BAngtan will make her diseapper and with no proof she existed, no one would believe me. but I can't take anymore. 

Words come out from my mouth. My threat to leave if she doesn't explain hurted me more than anything. I was silently begging her to give me any sort of reassurance but she didn't. 

She just let me go.
I might have cornered her but as a human I couldn't take it anymore.

For me she just died again but this time, my first love and the girl who made me forget my first love also died. 

Isn't it cruel ? 

AN//

This story is getting close to the end. It's a really magnificent one for me. During the process of writing, I tried to express the feeling of human being as much as I could and I tried to show you guys that even though a few things might seem completely wrong for you they can be the only way for someone else. Let's not judge anyone before we know everydetail of the story.

I love you guys. Again and again thank you for reading commenting and just existing . XOXO😍😍😍😍😍