Save me - Larry stylinson

Chapter forty

"I'll tell you whatever you want to know." I say and give him a weak smile. We are both sitting on my bed now. I cough a little to clear my voice. This is going to be harder than I thought. I rub my hands together. They are sweating. Harry notice my nervousness and lay his hand on my tight. I stare down at it and lay my hand on top of his.

"I used to be a happy boy." I start. I let myself fall into the memories of me as a kid. A little boy with a bowl haircut, that used to dance around the house laughing like crazy. "Mom used to say that she knew I would do something big. She knew I would make her and dad proud."

"You see mom wasn't as innocent as she is now. She didn't tell me this until I was like ten. She used to live next to this guy. They were friends, but they started messing around. She obviously didn't use those words, but I understand now that they had like a relationship that only included sex and nothing more than that. I mean he was a dick though. That guy wasn't my father. I've never met him. And hell I don't want to either. He left town when mom told him that she'd find an other. That was my father. Even to this day I'm pretty sure she's afraid that Mark might not be my father and that this Trev is. Which doesn't make any sense because I look like Mark. I still find it messed up that my old friends have the same names as my- father and mom's ex. I've always found it weird. Every time I talk to Mark I think about dad. And every time I talk with Trev I picture how mom's ex looks like." I take a few deep breaths before continuing.

"Well I was raised by the most amazing women ever. Mom always supported me. She loved me and dad with her whole heart. We were a small family, but we didn't need anyone else. We were fine that way. Dad, he was so fucking amazing. He taught me everything. How to ride a bike. How to make perfect tea. But most importantly he taught me how to treat people, with help from mom of course. He was perfect. Even though he always told me that no one were, he were. And I told him. I want to be like you when I grow up, daddy. I used to say. Everyone knew who he was. He wasn't the richest guy or the guy every woman was drooling over. But he was this guy you knew were kind. I wasn't a perfect son. I did mistakes, we all do. And he told me that it was alright. He was proud of me anyway."

I wipe my cheeks. Thinking about him is hard. Speaking about him is almost impossible. But with Harry's hand on me, I can do everything.

"I got into a lot of fights as I grew up. Nothing serious. I was proud of myself. Dad always told me to stand up for the weak ones. And that's what I did. I could take a bruise if I knew it would protect someone else. I became a great fighter actually. I didn't punch anyone, but I learned how to defend myself. And I wasn't the most popular guy. Many girls told me I was beautiful, but they ran away as soon as they understood that I was friends with Danielle."

"Danielle? That girl you stayed with in Doncaster?" Harry asks. I nod.

"I bet you probably don't like her already, but let me tell you, she wasn't bad. She was my best friend. We always stood up for each other. She was hated by the other girls. I'm pretty sure they were all just jealous. She kept the toxic girls away from me and I kept the guys away from her. We had so much fun. People used to make fun of us, but we didn't care. We knew the truth and that was that we would never be able to me more than friends. She was like the sister I never had. She was different when I saw her in Doncaster while you were at the hospital. She is a person I don't recognize. Her hair was colored and her clothes were just way too open and tight. She sells sex, Harry. That's the way she pay for her bills and food. And you might think that she's crazy, I do too. But she has her reason. Her family doesn't take care of her anymore. She fix her own problems. I wasn't there for her when she needed me, and I feel terrible for it." I huff.

"I feel guilty for many things. Like my fathers death for example. It was late at night. We were arguing, something we didn't do often. I wanted to go out with my friends, but I was grounded for a fight earlier that week. The thing is that dad was proud of me for standing up, but he was sick of me taking fights for people. And I wish that I'd just understood him, because he was right. But I was a child. I didn't know better. I ran to my room and locked the door. He knocked many times and begged me to open the door. I pretended to not hear him. I cried myself to sleep thinking about how stupid my parents was. And I remember waking up to a loud scream. I sat up the bed and felt the strong smell. Smoke was filling the room and it was hard to breathe in there. The first thought that came to my mind was Clifford. He was only a puppy and he was laying alone in the living room. I slammed the door open and started to run upstairs. My room was in the basement and Clifford was on the second floor. Mom and dads room was in the first. The flames hit me in the face as I reached the living room. I couldn't hear him. I tried to yell for him, but he wasn't there. I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around and met dads face. He was terrified. I knew he hated flames. He lifted me up and carried me down the stairs towards the door. I remember hearing mom's voice yelling and screaming for me. And then everything went black. I woke up inside an ambulance with mom. She held my hand and told me that everything would be fine. I didn't realize until we came to the hospital that dad wasn't there. I started yelling at everyone. I told them that they had to do more. They needed to save him."