ONE: Vanilla on My Hands

29: Carpet Burns on a Wednesday Night Smell like Regret

Frank had rushed when it came to picking up dinner, calling the take-out place ahead of time just so he could pick up, and pay for, his noodles as soon as he got there. His dinner resting on the passenger seat of his car along with his work bag and the other bag that he had required earlier in the day. The unlabelled bag that Frank kept glancing at when he had a moment to do so; his need completely gravitating towards the contents. Frank hadn't gotten home as quickly as he had in a long time because his need was so intense. He didn't understand it, Frank knew that he had a high sex drive, but being like this so soon after he had jerked off in the staff bathroom with his newly acquired sex toy in his mouth, this was new for him. The way he felt like his mind was clouded with a static haze, Frank couldn't get over how he felt completely on-edge, how his leg had been twitching in the car before he parked.

Frank eventually got back to the one place that he really wished he didn't have to go be. Unfortunately, with how things had transpired, he didn't have a choice when it came to living arrangements. After losing Jamia, Frank knew that he couldn't continue living in her house. The place was being sold by her parents and they hadn't been pleased about the fact that he was crashing in her spare room rent-free. As soon as he could, Frank packed up what little possessions he had and moved out, not entirely knowing where he was going to go. He didn't exactly have many options. For once in the past few days, since he had chosen his last resort, he had been living in the seediest looking motel he had ever known to exist. He found himself rushing to get back and needing to get behind the locked door of his new home. That was all Frank could feel coursing through his entire being; a need that wouldn't go to sleep.

'Casa de Dallas', as Frank had named it, his new digs definitely looked like it was stuck in some sort of seventies time-warp. The bedding was a hideous black-on-mustard paisley pattern that Frank swore only the elderly would have in their home. The floor was carpeted a horrid brown color, with the kind of pattern on it that reminded him of a 3D illusion picture that he'd find in Mad Magazine. God knows what he would see if he stared into it, probably how depressing his life had gotten; Frank really didn't want to see that. The walls were an insipid yellow, that wonderful color from smokers who had been in the same room before him. The whole space was so cramped and what was more depressing was the fact that the expensive suits that Gerard had bought him were being hung in the most dated wardrobe he had ever seen. The whole room was the most desolate thing Frank had ever seen, making his heart sink a little while he climbed the stairs of the motel, getting onto his floor before walking down to his room. Unlocking the door, Frank pushed it open with his shoulder, struggling with his bags for a moment before he got in, setting them down on the vanity in front of him so he could shut the door behind him.

Home sweet home, Frank thought, resting his back against the door, taking a moment to try and get his shit together in his head. Frank couldn't shake how he felt at all. What had happened earlier had really shaken him. Frank had been annoyed when Gerard kept trying to stop him over and over again, but he had been completely shocked when Gerard actually stopped him from advances altogether. He couldn't believe that Gerard had been like that with him; the way he had spoken to him, it should have scared Frank, but it had done quite the opposite. It was like the 'on' switch had been jammed in Frank's head, pressed too hard so he couldn't switch it off. The way Gerard had spoken to him had made Frank giddy, seeing him in a whole new light that was more alluring. Frank moved away from the door, drawing in a shaky breath. There was a small part of him that wished he could shake this off, but the rest of him chose to ignore that tiny voice in the back of his head that said to leave it alone. He felt more alive than he had in years; like a fire in the pit of his stomach had been ignited and for the love of God, he didn't want that to go out. He wanted to stoke the fire and turn it into an inferno, it was just...

Frank sat down on the edge of his bed, internally fighting with himself because now that he was home and behind closed doors, there was only one thing that was crossing his mind. Frank couldn't even focus properly with Gerard's voice was still ringing in his ears. The orders and the tight grip on his wrists had Frank dumbstruck. He wasn't surprised that Gerard could sound like that, but the surprise was because of the timing, and it went straight to his dick, leaving him with a semi that he wanted to sort out.