The Art of Falling

Part 2- 26: Medicine

26: Medicine

Present

"So my fellow graduates, remember this moment. This is not the end rather the beginning of an era. May the Carlyle spirit remain in our hearts as we turn a new leaf and step into the world. Let the roar of the tigers be heard louder than ever. Thank you and congratulations class of 20**!"

A small smile was etched on my face as I ended my cheesy speech. Surprisingly, it sounded decent considering the fact that I only wrote it this morning. I was never good at writing but with the help of three cups of coffee, I had an eight-minute commencement speech. Nobody wants to hear me talk for more than that anyway. Even I myself wouldn't want to speak on the stage more than eight minutes. I just wanted this thing to be over so I could celebrate with my family and go home to sleep. Ah sleep.

I shook hands with all the important people on the stage. I went back to my seat. There was a short message from the emcee. Applause filled the hall. Finally, the long ceremony was done.

This graduation was more meaningful than my previous one. Maybe because I always knew the path I was going to take. I allowed myself to be proud of my achievements this time. All those sleepless nights, exhaustion, blood and tears were worth it.

Surviving med school was no joke. Every week was hell week. Every single day was spent on studying and more studying. Quiz, exam, quiz exam. I thought it would never end. I always loved school and learning but taking tests every day was a different story. Don't even get me started with the paperwork and getting yelled at when you make a mistake.

It wasn't enough to be smart. I found determination and perseverance more important. Being smart doesn't help you get up early in the morning even though you feel dead inside. It took a lot of grit to show up to every class even though I felt like a big pile of crap.

Quitting was never an option. I may be a lot of crazy things but I was not a quitter. At least when it came to my studies. I willed myself to never give up no matter how hard and toxic the situation got. Yes, it's easier said than done. But hey, I survived med school. Having honours was just a cherry on top.

Ang hirap. Sobrang hirap. Minsan bigla na lang akong umiiyak habang gumagawa ng discharge instructions at summaries kasi pigang piga na yung utak ko. Pero pagkatapos umiyak, kailangan tapusin pa rin yung pinapagawa. Minsan magugulat na lang ako sa sarili ko kasi pucha, nagawa ko yun. Lahat parang imposible. Pero kinakaya ko. Kaya ko naman pala.

Mama was in tears when I walked to them after the photo taking with my class. She quickly enveloped her arms on me. "'Nak, were so proud of you." sabi ni Mama. "Pati papa mo sigurado sobrang proud sa'yo."

Papa was my biggest inspiration. He still is. Kapag nahihirapan ako, siya ang una kong iniisip at kung ano yung sasabihin niya sa akin. I got most of my strength from him. I still miss him every day and I think I will for the rest of my life. Kapag umuuwi ako ng Baguio, araw-araw akong nasa puntod niya. Kinukwento ko lahat ng nangyari sa akin, lahat ng natutunan ko at lahat ng mga bagay na ikukwento ko sa kanya kung buhay pa siya. In my heart, he was still very much alive. It took me some time to realize that but I'm glad I did. That thought was what kept me going.

"Jess!" Steph and Hailey ran towards me.

"Congratulations, Doc. I'm so proud of you." sabi ni Steph sabay abot ng flowers. Sumunod namang bumati at yumakap sa akin si Hailey.

"Thank you." Sobrang na-appreciate ko na nandito sila para sa akin. Kahit ilang birthdays at lakad akong MIA, nandito pa rin sila sa graduation ko. Habang nasa med school ako, isa o dalawang beses sa isang taon lang kami nagkikita kahit lahat kami nasa Manila. Kapag libre sila may exam akong pinaghahandaan. Tuwing sembreak naman umuuwi ako agad sa Baguio. Buti nga hindi pa nila ako nakakalimutan kahit lagi akong absent. Ang dami nang nangyari sa mga buhay buhay nila na na-miss ko.

Steph opened her own business. She makes fragrances and sells it in her shops. Currently, she has two mall stores and an online one. She's started dating Number 21 from the basketball team during our second year and they're still together. Shane is currently in Dubai working as an engineer.

Hailey, on the other hand, pursued her passion in photography. She's a photojournalist for a newspaper company. I think her girlfriend, Eva is a writer from the same company. I've never met Eva personally but Steph says she's really nice.

Ako lang yung single sa amin. I was perfectly fine with that. After everything that happened, I just couldn't make myself think about relationships anymore. I just had one goal in life. Be a doctor. A damn good one.

I had a simple celebration with my family and friends. After dinner, Steph and Hailey took me out for drinks. We went to a lounge bar. We always preferred this kind of place because we can drink and still hear each other at the same time. We were never the club type of people even if we enjoyed drinking.

"Hi." I was startled with the whisper in my ear. "Sorry, I'm late."

"No worries. We just got here." sabi ko nang nakangiti.

"Congratulations, Icay."

"Thank you, doc. What do you want? Drinks on me."

"I have to go back to the hospital. I just really wanted to congratulate you in person and give you this." He handed me a gray box which I quickly opened. A smile dawned on my face.

It was the most beautiful stethoscope I have ever seen. It even has my name engraved on it.

"Thank you, doc."

*****

The year after graduation flew like the wind. I did my internship in a public hospital. I stayed in a study dorm while reviewing for the PLE. Eat, sleep and study were literally the only things I did before the boards.

While waiting for the exam results, I took a short break so I went home to Baguio. Nase-stress din akong maghintay kaya nagpaka-busy muna ako. Tinulungan ko si mama sa pharmacy namin.

Magdadalawang taon na rin nang magbukas yung business ni mama. Maayos naman kasi maganda yung location niya. Walking distance lang sa bahay kaya mga kapitbahay namin yung mga customers. Tapos may malapit na inn kaya lagi naman may bumibili.

Nag-volunteer ako sa isang medical mission. Inimbita ako nung mga dating katrabaho ni papa na ngayon ay parte na ng isang NGO. Yung mga nagba-barangay para magbigay ng libreng check-up.

Umakyat sa Baguio yung mga classmates ko sa med school kaya sumama ako sa road trip nila. Sa bahay sila nakituloy ng isang gabi. Tapos bumyahe na kami.

Kung saan saan sa North Luzon kami nakarating. Halos dalawang linggo kaming bumabyahe. Nakakapagod pero masaya. Sinasabay na nga nila ako pabalik Manila pero umuwi muna ako sa Baguio. Gusto ko kasing kasama sina mama kapag lumabas na yung results.

Ilang araw pa ang hinintay namin. Sobra yung kaba ko nang sunud-sunod na nag-message yung mga classmates at ka-internship ko. Binuksan ko lang yung site pero si mama yung pinatingin ko. Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. Para akong masusuka sa kaba habang pinapanood si mama na basahin yung nasa screen.

Nang humarap siya sa akin, naluluha ang mga mata niya. Niyakap niya ako ng mahigpit habang tinitignan ni JJ yung laptop.

"Congrats, ate! Top 5! Ang galing mo!" sigaw ni JJ bago sumali sa yakapan namin ni mama.

Hindi ko naitago ang gulat ko sa sinabi niya. I had to see it for myself. I kept on clicking refresh because I couldn't believe it. I aimed to top the boards just for motivation while studying. I didn't think it was actually going to happen.

Masaya na ako na tawagin ang sarili ko bilang duktor. Bonus na lang yung topnotcher ako.

Dr. Jessica Javier.

Ang sarap pakinggan.

Papa, this for you.

Residency, here I come.