This, I Promise You

Chapter 3

Mew's POV

It was 10pm, and I had just ended my evening class. To say that I was exhausted, is definitely an understatement, as I had been out for more than 10 hours eversince my photoshoot in the morning. I was still sitting in my car, after reaching home, to read and reply all of the outstanding messages that I have received. I had went into Twitter, and saw how it was almost blown up by the fans' hashtag trend, on my trip to the mall with Gulf earlier in the afternoon. I was stunned, as soon as I saw Gulf's tweet. Trust this boy, to blow up the hashtag further..

'Think of me when you are wearing the shoes. Take care too xx' - I replied to the tweet before making my way into the house.

In The Bedroom

I tossed and turned on the bed. I am definitely tired from this exhausting day, but my eyes were not helping me at all. I looked at the clock next to my bed. 02.06 AM. And yet, I can't fall asleep. I have an early schedule tomorrow, and by the look of the situation, I don't think I can even get my 8 hours of proper sleep anymore. I sighed. As a last resort, I tried to count sheeps, to help me to fall asleep, and it did, but not for long.

I was woken up by my own nightmare, in tears. This nightmare has been haunting me lately, which had made me to be more scared of the environment that I am living in. I thought that this nightmare has stopped, eversince I was done with the series. But now, after a few months, I have been getting the same nightmare for almost every night. I wiped off the tears and made my way to the living room, to watch a movie. I tried to focus onto the movie but I was distracted by the scene in my nightmare.

"What if it happens? What if Gulf really listened to him, and leave me?" I whispered to myself.

It was almost 6 am when my mother walked out to the living room.

"Same nightmare again, son?"

"Yes.. I'm scared, mum. Gulf was in my nightmare this time round. Gulf met him. He told Gulf about my wrongdoings.." I teared up at the last part.

My mother came up right next to me on the couch, and gave me a tight hug. I can't help but to let my emotions to take over me. This whole thing has been taking a toll on me. Only my mother and Mild know about this. I sobbed hard.

"Why don't you share this with Gulf? It hurts me to see you hurting yourself, Mew. You clearly have feelings for him, but you are holding yourself back. Tell him about your feelings and this nightmare, so that he can help you. I am sure he has feelings for you too, and he will be more than willing to help you get through this nightmare.." My mother said while patting my back.

I shook my head,

"No, mum.. I am not ready to get another rejection.. And I do not want him to feel burden by me having a stupid nightmare. I think, I should get myself ready before Nong Stu arrive to bring me to my dance class"

I quickly get myself up from the couch and get myself ready for the long day ahead.

Three Days Later

I am beyond exhausted. It was hard, to juggle between my studies and work, especially when I couldn't even have a proper sleep on top of everything. My nightmare has been getting worser each night. My work has been piling up lately, which I am complaining because I enjoy doing all of the interviews and brand endorsements. I slouched down in the car seat, waiting for Nong Stu to drive me back home after a long day. I almost dozed off, until a LINE text came in.

'How are you, P? I miss you. Call tonight?'

I smiled, reading the text, before replying Gulf.

'Tired as per usual.. Raincheck tonight? I will call you when I am free okay.'

'Again? But it has been days since I heard your voice. Are you sure you are okay?'

'I am just tired, Gulf.. Good night'

I quickly shut off my phone after sending that last text. I felt guilty, for doing this to him. But I do not want Gulf to be in this mess, in MY mess. A tear slipped off from my eye. I quickly wiped off the tear when Nong Stu came inside the car to drive me back home. After briefing me on my schedule for the next few days, I was tapping along to the beats of the song that was playing in the car, when Nong Stu cleared his throat.

"Mew, you know that you can share with me about anything right? I know you are hiding behind that facade, but I am here for you, you know?"

I immediately turned to look at Nong Stu.

"Is it very obvious?"

"Very, Mew. Those dark eye circles.. Having difficulty to sleep?"

I made the decision to tell Nong Stu about it. I poured out my feelings to him, having difficulty to continue my story at some parts..

I had just finished my story, when I realised that we have reached my home. I had unbuckled my seatbelt when Nong Stu voiced out,

"I am saying this as your friend now, Mew. If you need me to help you to seek help, I will. Don't keep this to yourself. Don't blame yourself over your past. Now, get some sleep. You badly need it. If this goes on for the next few days, I am scared that you will collapsed. Lastly, don't distanced yourself from Gulf, it's not doing good for the both of you, trust me."

I spaced out after hearing those words. I nodded my head before gathering my things to exit the car.

After taking a shower, I sat on my bed and switched on my phone, and read through the rest of the messages that Gulf had sent. Before I continued with my research thesis, I sent a voice message to Gulf - 'Good Night Gulf. Now, you've heard my voice. Rest well.' 

For the rest of the night, I did my thesis research, before falling asleep on my desk for an hour before getting ready for my schedule for the next day.