Run to you

Part 41

Lisa stared at the white door. The smell of the hospital seemed to remind her of the days she spent with Chaeyoung after the accident.

Those days seemed to be much better than what she was feeling at that moment.

Chaeyong stood in front of her after she was done tying the clean gown from behind.

She kissed Lisa softly before she placed the mask over the latter's face.

They only allow one visitor to go inside the CICU, no matter how hard Chaeyoung tried to pursue the nurse in charge.

Lisa sighed but felt the other girl lift her chin up.

"I'll be here alright? If its too much just remember that I'll be here, waiting for you Jagiya...." she heard the blonde said.

Lisa nodded her head before she pressed a button that made the door open.

She held her breath as she took the first step.

"Jagiya!"

She turned her head and met Chaeyoungs gazed.

"I love you."

Hearing the girl said it lessens the heavy feeling in her heart.

"I love you more," she said it close to a whisper. She felt so weak but with Chaeyoung insight she felt secure. That no matter what happened she has someone to catch her, to lean on.

She swallowed hard before she continues her small steps towards the cot bed.

A tear immediately fell from her eyes, her throat tightened upon seeing him up close.

The small child lying on the bed asleep. He was white as paper, machines, and tubings connected to his frail body.

"You can hold him..." she jolts upon hearing the nurse's voice.

She nodded her head softly. She then slowly lifted her hand and placed it softly at the boy's hair.

"Michael.... baby.... I'm sorry...." tears start rolling from her eyes. 

"I'm.... I'm sorry for not being here when you needed me the most... I'm sorry for being a coward. I'm so sorry......."

Lisa's voice shakes as she tried the courage to go on. Seeing how he was breathing mainly because of the machine attached to him. Lost was the innocent smile that was meant for her. Lost was the sparkle in his eyes every time he sees her coming. 

She tried to find the words but every time she tries to speak, the pain she feels inside worsens. 

Feeling the cold skin beneath her fingers made her weak. 

"I want you to stay, but if you're tired and the pain is too much.....You can let go now.... I'll be okay... I love you so much Mickey... You're the only man in my life that I truly love. Thank you for sharing a part of you with me." 

She was broken... She really was. 

She was guilty and she was hurting. 

She remembers the moment she lost her mom. 

For Lisa, there was only one way to cope, and it involves putting all her emotions inside a box until she felt numb. 

Lisa was about to resort to it when suddenly she felt someone turned her around, arms now securely wrapped around her, pulling her out of her dark thoughts. 

She looked up and saw Chaeyoung staring down at her lovingly before she felt her held the back of her head softly. Tucking her safely in the crook of her neck. 

And that's when she found it.

A safe place where she can let go and be honest with what she feels inside.