Teach Me How To Live -~Zen Wistaria x Reader~-

Rue.

(That picture up top is kind of how I imagined Rue to look like- I didnt draw it)

Your POV

I woke up again later that morning to voices. Zen was sitting up beside me but Mitsuhide, Kiki, Obi, Shirayuki, and Rue were talking around us.
I brought my hand to my eyes to block the bright sun before anything else.
"Morning, sleepy head" Kiki said as i slowly sat up.
"Good morning.. Im sorry i worried everyone.." i apologized from the start just to get it out of the way.
"How do you feel?.." Zen asked with a soft tone of voice as i met his eyes. Im still embarrassed i passed out like that..
"Im okay, i think i just scared myself a little yesterday" i said with a nervous laugh.
"You shouldnt have stepped in yesterday, highness. Her majesty ordered you to leave as soon as you woke up." Rue told me with crossed arms and a glare.
"Yes, I remember.." I nodded and looked at my hands. Rue isn't happy about what i did either..
"Because of your actions, youll have to leave prince Zen and your loved ones behind because you selflessly tried to stand up to the Queen." Rue continued which really wasn't helping at all..
"Thats enough, Rue" Mitsuhide sighed and stopped him.
"I was aware of the consequences before. I told you that I wouldn't let it go again if something like that happened in front of me, Rue" i replied and was being serious but..
"Being kicked out of the kingdom where you're supposed to marry for a servant who got punished should never have happened!" Rue suddenly shouted.
"Wanna keep going or do you want me to stop you?.." Obi threatened Rue.
Why did I cause so much trouble again? Was I supposed to just let what happen slide again? Should I have just hid inside the room for longer? What have i done?
"Stop fighting." Zen said sternly as the room went silent. "Y/n and i both knew the consequences and have already talked about this matter before hand. Isabelle would have forced Y/n to leave one way or another. If you think about this logically, why would isabelle want someone apart of the Moon clan present for a fight if they're not on her side?" Zen asked seriously.
"Fight?.. When will it be?.." Shirayuki asked in confusion. We havent really discussed the real possibility of a war with them yet. There are a lot of bad people who only want power, having isabelle as queen certainly helps but Izona is also in the way so.. They might try to kill him.
"Any day now that she's queen.. She'll come after everyone.." Mitsuhide answered and suddenly realized that the royals in this castle could be murdered. Zen..
"I dont want her to leave either but id rather she be safe in Tanbarun then here, especially now" Zen told them as i sighed. Not me..
"No wonder you've been so nice to isabelle all this time.." Shirayuki muttered sadly.
"I should probably leave soon then.." i said as i stood up from where I sat.
"You're not actually leaving are you?" Obi asked in shock.
"I am. I need you to stay here and keep and eye on Isabelle for me" i told him with a small smile.
"But what if something happens to you?" Shirayuki asked and took a step forward worriedly.
"Dont you think I can handle myself? I have Rue too" I smiled and I placed my hand on my sword.
"What if they find you on the way and attack?!" She asked and was suddenly so much more worried.
"Dont tell everyone that!.." Obi slapped his hand over her mouth.
"Shirayuki, ill be okay. I'm capable of handling more than a few men in a fight and I've already proven it to you guys. Dont worry once I leave, ill be back again.." i said softly as i looked around me.
"Dont come back too soon" Kiki smiled.
"Yeah, dont try sneaking around either" Mitsuhide added with a short chuckle.
"I wont" i chuckled as i went to the door.
"Im coming with you! To the gate that is.." Zen said as he grabbed my hand.
"We better hurry then" i smiled up at him.
"Ill go get the carraige, highness.." Rue bowed at the door before we went our separate ways.
"Y/n.. What do you think of him? Are you sure you'll be alright?.." Zen asked and looked a little nervous as he watched Rue leave.
"I think he still needs a lot of work and maybe to learn a few people skills" i sighed, "and im sure we'll be fine.. Why?" I asked in wonder as i held his hand.
"Its nothing.. I was just thinking is all.." He said while still in thought.
"Dont think too hard. Ill be alright and if something does happen then at least I'll get in a little practice in" i grinned happily and swung our hands back and forth.
"I hate the thought of that.. You in a real fight.. Before, you only ever had practice with people who didn't mean any harm but now you're important to tanbarun and the new queen, she-" i had to stop his rant before he got too worked up.
"Its okay, Zen.. Ill still come back to you no matter what happens. Even if I couldnt walk and ive lost my legs, id still come find you.." i said softly as i looked at our feet. We always walk at the same pace, almost like we're marching together.
"Please dont say that.. im the one, ill always come find you. Ill always heal you if you get hurt again, ill always be with you" he said with such a painful look on his face. "I dont want to let you go.." he whispered as he gently squeezed my hand.
"Promise you'll protect yourself first while im gone." I said quietly and bit my bottom lip. I already know his answer, its stupid of me to ask. I dont want him hurt, I want to see him alive when I come back.
"I cant.. I know you wouldn't either.." he muttered to me as tears rose to my eyes.
"Okay.." i whispered as i tried to wipe the tears from my eyes before they fell. I knew hed say that..
Zen helped me pack what little things I had left. After everything was put in the carraige it was time for me to go. Everyone stood outside saying their goodbyes. Izona was there too but not isabelle. Izona smiled at me and gave me a short nod. Hes allowing me to come back later but after isabelle is dealt with..
After a tight hug between Zen and I, I had to go.. Once getting on the path it began to rain. I felt bad that Rue had to be out in the rain and snow but he didnt ever say anything..
After a while, we stopped at a nearby inn. The storm was getting too bad to stay out so we had to stop. I felt so drained and couldn't think of anything but the bad. There could be a full on war while im away..
That night, I talked to Rue. The things we talked about.. really got to me. We talked about my past and the missions I went on.. he mentioned how I-.. i killed someone.. and he was there.. but where was he?.. i was so focused on not losing my life that i couldn't pay attention to anything else..
"Rue.. Do i scare you?" I asked him straight out and looked right in his eyes.
"Highness.." he muttered and looked away.
"You said you saw me that time years ago.. Id be scared." I continued. Im horrified of the things I've done in my past. Its a mystery to me how a few people could turn me around so quickly.
"I.. i am.. That day was one ill never forget.." he muttered and had his head down. That makes two if us. I should have asked sooner.. I've probably scared him this whole time..
"Then.. Ill keep my distance. Im sorry I didnt realize sooner.." i said as i slowly stood up from my chair. "Good night, Rue." I smiled before walking back to my room.
That whole day was horrible.. but it was nothing compared to the one after.
We had been on the road all day and didn't take a singe break till night fall hit.
I got out of the carraige with the book that I had been reading in my hands. I stood outside in the cold dark waiting for Rue to come back. He and the coach went to put away the carraige somewhere safe.
"Princess, its quite dark out here. Aren't you cold?.." Rue asked while I was occupied by my book and had my back facing him.
"A bit but im sure its nothing compared to the day you had.." i sighed and was really trying to finish this page before shutting the book.
"Yes, it was quiet cold.." he muttered as i pulled my book mark from my pocket.
"Im sorry, tomorrow I could switch you places in the-.." i began as i turned my head with a smile but.. Suddenly he cut a big gash on my back quicker than I could hear his sword unsheath.. "Rue.." i whispered as i dropped my book and fell to my knees in the cold mud.
"Ive been waiting for this moment since you ran away crying.." Rue said with a different tone of voice than usual. Its evil, it-.. It reminds me of Dominic.
"Why would you do this?.." i asked as i began to tremble. Im bleeding, its so hot but so cold and it hurts more than anything..
"For all the people you've hurt and the man you murdered..." he began with an unseen devilish smirk, "and because hearing your whimer in pain sounds so beautiful.. Just like those perfect few days years ago." The mission.. he was.. he was there. "You were so young back then and you've matured much more.." he said as he took steps towards me. Once he began to move, it clicked with me that i had to get up. I had to do something before it was too late!
"All this time you've been pretending then?.." i asked as i quickly got on my feet and pulled my sword out. I ignored the long gash across my back the best i could and tried not to be quite so weak. I need strength to beat him!
"Of course i have. Using Isabelle helped a lot too. You got yourself thrown out of clarines all for me" he said with this terrifying grin. I've seen this before, why did I forget? Why didnt I remember it till now?!
"Youre not on her side?.." i asked as i took steps back. If someone sees the sight if blood they'll freak out and get involved too. I can't let anyone else get hurt!
"That foolish woman? Of course not. She was just another pawn to get to you.." he said as he licked his lips before jumping at me. Ive beat him once and ill do it again! No matter what the cost! I have to go back to the ones i love! "Its funny because that stupid prince of yours was catching on to my little game. Its a shame ill have to kill you now!" He shouted and got a little scratch in on my thigh.
"A-Aim a little higher next time then!" I retorted in pain before getting a small cut on his arm. I cant believe after these past couple months with him that I never realized or even remember who he really was. His name isn't even Rue, its Yuri!
"Ha.. i think I should have a little fun with you once you tire out" he said as we stepped back from each other. The gash on my back hurt and I was losing a great deal of blood from it.
"Good luck with that.." i panted but kept up my posture and was strong and aware now. At least i have this adrenaline to keep me going.
"All I have to do is wait." He said with a smirk as he began to walk around me. Im running out of time. I cant keep this up with this kind of injury, i already feel dizzy, too dizzy to move. I stabbed my sword in the frozen ground covered by snow and leaned on it just to keep me standing. "Its too bad.. Youre real father will be very sad when he hears of your death and the king will surely be angry.. Maybe i should kill the both of them as well and after, that prince youre betrothed to.." he said happily.
"Not my family.. No more, please.." i whispered as my hair fell in front of my face. It hurts but I can keep going, I just need this dizziness to go away!
"Didn't Dominic tell you? He wasn't actually the one to kill your grandfathers and mother" he laughed as my eyes widened. Please don't tell me.. Please dont tell me their muderer was being protected by me this whole time.. "This same sword has seen the whole of your family and is still stained red from them. How sweet.. Youll all die by the same sword!" He shouted as he cut another gash on my back.
"Gah!-" i gasped and screamed in pain as i fell into the snow.
"That scream.. Reminds me of those perfect days where you and I had alone.." he went on. My body trembled and hot tears streamed from my eyes. Why did i forget? Why didn't I remember? I-It wasn't just Dominic, it was him.. Why did i forget? Why? Why?!
"Please don't.." i whispered in tears as he raised his sword above me.
"The same begging words too!" He shouted before erupting in laughter that shook me to the bone and brought back old memories i forced out. Why do i have to remember? Why did he come back just to kill me?
I feel so cold now.. he slashed and X on my back and it hurt but im freezing.. his sword.. I can see mine and others blood on it as well.. Why didn't I see it before?.. it.. hurts....
"Leave my daughter alone!" Dad suddenly.. Dad.. Why.. Why is he here?.. Its so.. warm.. Blood.
My eyes widened at the sight of blood splattering across my face and staining my clothes. Blood.. The stench almost hurts and it.. burns.. why is it burning my skin? Its.. Rue's..
"You murdered my wife and almost got to my only daughter! Yours and Dominic's games are finished with!" Dad shouted as his sword edged deeper into Rue's stomach. His blood dripped over me as i laid scared and trembling in the snow.
This scene brings back so many horrible memories.. Memories I've long forgot since finding Zen.. Its been a year since I've had to relive such a thing.. I dont want to leave him yet.. What will he say when he knows I got hurt?.. How mad will he be when he learns Rue slipped through our fingers so easily?.. Dad knew the whole time.. he mustve been searching for Rue... No one deserves death.. Not even Rue.. But im still glad.. Why?.. Why am I happy he'll die soon from this wound?.. Im so scared..
"Y/n, come now, we dont have much time to lose." Dad spoke to me as picked me up. My head was hanging over his arm because I didnt have the strength to hold it myself anymore. I'm so tired of these things happening.. I was so close to having ever lasting happiness with the one I love.. Mother, please send me strength.. I need to get back to him..
"Oh my!.." Gasps were heard all around me as the light began to shine in my eyes.
"Is there a doctor or a medical kit? I need help now!" Dad shouted anxiously.
"Im fine.." i whispered and just barely could keep my eyes open.
"You better hope you're fine, im not losing you too" he said to me and sounded like he was breaking a bit. He's scared now after seeing me like this. Im so lifeless, I cant even move. My clothes are freezing but the blood seeping down my back is hot..
"Sir, we must hurry" a man's voice said as we began to move.
"Please, father... If i don't end up making it for some reason.." i began as i slowly pulled the necklace Zen had given me from out of under my clothes with all the strength I had left, "Please.. Return this to Zen..." i whispered painfully as i showed him my ring.
"Hes not getting it back and you're not leaving me, Y/n. Stop with the nonsense!" He shouted as we ran into a dark room. Candles were quickly lit as i was laid on my stomach
"This is princess Y/n?!.." the man from before gasped.
"Help her! She's already lost a lot of blood!" Father shouted.
"I-I will do my best, sir! This is the least I can do but ill give it all i got!" The man said confidently before suddenly something burning was washing away the blood on my back.
"Ach-.." i groaned and made fists.
"Y/n, hang on till its finished then you can rest, okay?" Dad asked and took my hand.
"Okay.." i whispered as i took deep breaths. "I-I wish I hadnt sent Obi home now.." i muttered and tried my best to smile. I feel like hell but if I can try to stay positive like I've always done than ill be okay.
"You did what you thought was best.." dad said as a sharp needle was stabbed through my skin.
"Im sorry princess, I dont have anything to numb the pain but these gashes are too big to be fixed with a simple bandage" the man explained to me what was happening. I need stitches too.. This hurts..
"Thank you.. I-I repay you somehow.." i stuttered as i shut my eyes and grit my teeth in pain.
"Please dont worry about this, highness. I've lived in Tanbarun my entire life, my whole family has never left. When you announced your title in town to everyone we were all so shocked but happy to see such a kind princess. Then as time went on, you kept coming back to town and brightening up things. Everyone lives happily now because of everything you've done for us" he said and took his time. These stitches hurt but listening to what he's telling me helps distract from the pain. "Every time someone compliments you on your work in town you always give the credit to prince Raji but without you, we would have never had these changes. Before you came to us, Prince Raji was never someone we were proud of. We feared him but youve opened our eyes and we're grateful for everyone in the royal family simply because you're trying" he went on.
"Thank you.. It means a lot to hear these kind words.." i said softly and didnt noticed dad who had already slipped away from me. He mustve went back outside to deal with Rue..
"Princess.. There mustve been an assassin after you.. ive heard stories of your epic battles but i never imagined you'd be hurt like this.. But now that we've met in person, i can see the scars you carry.." he spoke softly and had to restring a new line of thread.
"Ive lived like this just till about a year ago.. i met wonderful people who took care of me and changed the way I view the world and live.. I owe my life to them.." i muttered as i began to feel suddenly more tired.
"Princess, if you'd like to sleep now than you must know youre in good hands. I give you my word you'll go back to those people you care for all healed up" he told me with tons of confidence.
"Thats reassuring.. Please take good care of me.." i whispered while dozing off.
"I will!" He said to me just before I passed out.
I was still freezing and in pain but not dead.. What a relief.. I really thought I was going to die before dad showed up.. Im so happy i have him left..