Teach Me How To Live -~Zen Wistaria x Reader~-

Poisoned

Your POV

When I woke back up from my nap, everyone was still here. The room glowed orange from the setting sunfrom my windows.
Juniper and Leon were organizing my shelves while Obi stood by another shelter holding all the letters Zen's sent me last month.
"Why are you reading those, Obi?.." i asked as i rubbed my eyes and sat up.
"Shirayuki.. She's really pregnant?.." he muttered. My eyes widened and my heart stopped once he asked. That wasnt my secret to tell! Oh no, they'll kill me!
"I-I have no idea what you're talking about!" I stuttered in a panic as I took the letters from his hands and shoved them back where they came.
"This is why you were going to make me go.. and the wedding so soon.." he muttered as he looked at me with wide eyes.
"She's uh- she got.. fat?.." i tried to come up with something to hide the fact but it was bad..
"Pfft-..." Juniper cracked behind me and got a little nudge on the arm from Leon.
"Thank you.." Obi suddenly hugged me tightly. Hes so happy.. He must be so excited too.
"And you were mad youd leave to see her" i chuckled and rubbed his back before we parted.
"Well if I would have known she was 4 months pregnant then I wouldn't have complained" he chuckled and let me go with tears in his eyes.
"Im sorry you can't see her yet. You can go to Clarines though and try to catch her" i shrugged and smiled.
"No, right now she's safe but youre not so ill stay a while longer" he smiled and looked amazing.
"How's it feel to be a soon to be father still unmarried?" I grinned to him and leaned on the front of my desk.
"Congratulations, sir. We had no idea" Juniper said with a smile.
"Congratulations" Leon added as the two stopped working and finally talked.
"I cant believe it still.." he said in shock but happily.
"Now you just have to think of a better place to live. Theres not much room in Wistal castle for the three of you" i said as he began to think.
"We could get a house in the town.." he said with a bright smile.
"Its not too far away from the castle and everyday you can ride a horse to and from" i  smiled a bit bigger.
"Shirayuki will have to stay home most days.. How much does it cost for babysitters?" He asked with a long sigh.
"Dont get too ahead of yourself, sir" Juniper chuckled along with me and Leon.
"Im sure Zen and Shirayuki worked out something for your living quarters for a while till you can find a place" i said happily.
Talk like that went on for a while and it was really fun. The next day rolled around and my father had noble visitor's per usual but for some reason they asked to talk to me. I was going to find them as requested but when I saw the group heading to the same room as me way down the hall.. i froze.
I stopped in the middle of the hallway wide eyed and suddenly felt sick. Without a word I turned around and walked off, almost running. I didnt know what else to do. The people I saw terrified me. Today I remembered the man's face whom I killed.. Because he was stand in front of me walking down the hall..
I ran straight to my room on the verge of throwing up before finally making it there and slamming the door shut in my attendants face. Obi was confused as ever and opened the door after a while of pleading to the empty room. I ran right to the bathroom and couldn't control my stomach.
I-I thought he died by my own sword! I watched him! Why is he back?!
"Y/n, what the hell has gotten into you?.." Obi asked from behind the bathroom door as i sat hunched over the toilet just trying to keep it down.
"I-I cant-.." i whispered and stuttered before gagging again at the thought of that man. He died by my sword. He died right in front of me!
"Are you sick?.." He asked in confusion.
"Y-Yes.. Please go.." i answered quietly as I hugged myself in pain. I feel so bad for sending him away right now but im so embarrassed by what I'm doing.
"Are you sure?.. ill send Juniper to get the pharmacist down here" he told me suddenly.
"N-No!" I shouted as i shut my eyes, "D-Dont tell anyone!" I continued. All I can see is that mans body at my feet, why did he return to life? Is he here to haunt me till death? Is he here for revenge? Was he the one throwing those knives?
"Y/n.." Obi muttered at the door with a sigh, "tell me what's wrong.." he asked and waited.
"I-I killed him.." i muttered as i began to trembled. "I-I killed him y-years ago.." i said before throwing up again. I feel like im burning everywhere and stabbing pains are consuming my body.
"Which one?.." He asked and got a bit more serious.
"Hat.. H-He wore a hat.." i muttered in fear.
"Ill look into it, Y/n. You stay here with Juniper and Leon and don't leave your room." He told me before one last knock on the door and he was gone.
I felt so sick, like I was dying. I couldnt even stand to be in my own skin after seeing that man. It terrified me to even think of him.
"Princess, are you sick?.." Juniper asked softly at the door.
"Y-Yes, i-Im sorry.." i stuttered and panicked watching her come close to the door. I cant handle being close to anyone, im so scared.
"Is there something we can do? Would you like me to come in and comfort you?.." she asked softly. She so sweet to suggest that but I cant even move to unlock the door.
"Can you have Leon move my studies from my office to my room?.." i asked quietly. Im not leaving this room till that man is gone.
"Yes, highness.." She replied as she walked away from the door to tell him then later came back, "he'll return shortly, princess." She said as i tried to pick myself up but i felt like i was dying.
"Thank you.." i muttered as i cleaned up my mess everywhere.
"Princess, i know im here souly for your protection but i can also be your friend.." she suggested suddenly which made me stop in my place. "I know what happened with your last attendant which may make you nervous or scared of Leon and i but i give you my word you can trust us. We'll show you that with time. Id love to be your friend for now though.." this is the most she's spoken to me before and I felt so happy that tears began to fall. I told Zen long ago that I will only gain his trust with time..
"Thank you.." I repeated as i sniffed and wiped my tears.
"Please do not cry, princess.. if youd like, ill listen to why you're sad.." she offered behind the door still.
"M-Maybe another time.. I-I don't really want to think about it.." i muttered and felt sick again.
"I understand." She answered softly. I hesitantly put my hand on the door knob and slowly turned it. Behind the door was Junier but it felt like someone was watching me. That man..
"Can you shut the blinds please?.." i muttered as i stared wide eyed behind her. Im terrified.. i can't even move..
"Yes, highness" she nodded and smiled before doing so. I slowly took steps to my bed and sat down. I feel like hes watching me still. Im so scared.. I pulled my blanket up over my head and stayed as hidden as possible but it still didn't help.
"Princess, is there anything i can do to make you feel any better?.." Junieper asked at the end of the bed.
"J-Just being here.. Thats all i want.." i muttered and trembled at the thought of being alone again.
"I will" she said with a soft tone of voice as she walked around the side of the bed to me. "Ill protect you when you cannot, that is my promise to you, and ill always be here as your shoulder to lean on when you're scared.." She told me as she sat down on the floor next to me.
"I-I am scared.." i stuttered in fear as the image kept coming back to me. "That man.." i whispered and began to tremble again.
"Dont think about him, princess. Try to get some sleep. Itll make you feel better. I'll stay here and protect you while you sleep" she told me as my eyes got heavier.
"I-Ill try.." i muttered and felt protected but still had that suspicion in the back of my head that maybe she was lying. I dont know who to trust after Rue. If I was murdered now in my sleep, maybe id forget about the past.. But Zen.. i want to write to him.. "Juniper, can you hand me letter paper and a pen on my desk over there?.." i muttered and hadnt got out from under my blanket yet.
"Who will you be writting to, if you dont mind me asking" she asked casually as she got up and walked away.
"Prince Zen.." i muttered and slowly sat up with my head hanging.
"Obi said you two were really engaged but the public wasn't allowed to know. That must be really hard for the both of you right now. Now I understand why you write to him everyday" she told me as she slowly came back and handed me what I asked for.
"It was hard.. Still is.." i muttered as i gently pulled out my necklace before i began to write. I just needed to vent without physically saying it and this was the only way how. I may never send this to him, i feel like i wrote too much about my fears in it but i know he'll want to read it one day anyway.
"I cant imagine.. Ive never had a partner i was that close to" she told me as she sat down on the edge of my bed next to me.
"Neither have i before Zen.." i answered as i began to write about how much this scared me behing away from him at this time.
"I dont know much about your past other than what the media and rumors spread around. Your life sounded horrible.. Some parts still do but the thing that changed is that you've found someone you truly love and you have Obi who cares for you a lot too.." she told me as she looked at the letters Zen wrote me that i hung up all over my walls. Every letter except last months is hanging all around me.. it makes this place feel a little safer...
"Yeah.. I met Zen the day after i left Alfin.. I was terrifed of people and my mother told me to keep hidden and stay quiet.. subconsciously I took that too far and became mute for a while before Zen helped me understand what I've done to myself.." i told her as i gently held my ring in the palm of my hand while writting to Zen about whats happening.
"I dont know what I would've done in your place.." she answered with a soft sigh.
"I was too scared to think for myself.. so i ran to clarines like she told me.." i began as i thought about that day again. I always talk about the past but it seems like this is the only thing I want to talk about.. Im happy with where I've come and who I've met.. "she died that same day but my father escaped.. im sure you heard those rumors as well.. he's living in clarines flirting with the chief herbalist over there, that poor lady.." i muttered as my smile began to grow.
"Really?" She chuckled and looked over to me in disbelief.
"Youll see it one day if you continue to stay with me." I told her with a smile as i continued to write.
"I will." She smiled and looked back to the letters, "Would I be allowed to read some of the letters hes sent you? I assume thats whats hanging up on your walls" she asked as she looked back to me.
"The first one starts over there and travels around. You can see the dates" i told her as i pointed to the first. She got up with a smile and began to read what wrote he wrote me. Some of them are all lovey while others are just explaining business between us.
Soon after she start reading, Leon walked back in with the things I had asked for.
"Is this everything, Princess? I tried to gather all that I found you reading or looking at lately" Leon explained as he set the books at the end of my bed. He brought quite a lot.. Do i really read that much?
"Thank you, I dont imagine ill leave this room for a while.." i told him as i began to write more light hearted things to Zen about how i missed him and how I just talked about us meeting to my new attendant.
"Are you growing sick, highness?.." Leon asked worriedly and checked to see if ibwas pail.
"No, im fine.. I just dont want to go out for a while.." i answered softly as i signed my letter.
"I understand" he nodded and took a step back. "Princess, these letters are beautiful.. There was a thought in my head that maybe this was an arranged marriage but you really do love each other.." She told me in awe and was only on the second letter.
"Why are you reading those? They arent for you.." Leon grumbled while I softly laughed.
"I dont mind, you can read too. Theyre from Prince Zen in Clarines" i told him as i folded my note and set it aside.
"Obi talked about your secret engagement not long ago.." he told me and slowly began to wonder about the letters.
"I still have my ring to prove it but I have to hide it all the time" I sighed as Juniper looked back to me with a wide smile.
"May i see it?" She asked excitedly and walked around to me.
"Yes, its- oh no.." i muttered suddenly and completely blanked.
"What is it princess?.." Leon asked and turned around in worry.
"I forgot to make his ring.." i muttered and put my head in my hands.
"You can make wedding rings?" Juniper gasped and looked so amazed.
"And swords.." i mumbled as i thought about the ring. "Im not allowed to go outside though.. i can't go to the blacksmiths till this threat is gone.." i muttered and felt horrible.
"Theres no way to close off the blacksmithing area?.." Juniper asked as she looked at my ring.
"No, the back wall is completely opened.. Ill have to wait.. its not like we'll be married any time soon.." i muttered and leaned back with a sigh..
"Princess, do you like Clarines more than Tanbarun?.." Leon asked as he had his back turned while looking at my letters.
"I have a different liking for Clarines than Tanbarun. Clarines is where all my family is and I couldnt live without them while Tanbarun is my kingdom and I have a commitment to the people here" i explained as i began to think about things.
"We will follow you to Clarines when the time comes for you to leave until you send us away.." he told me softly.
"Itd be nice to have more friends.. I thought Rue was okay but.. he wasnt.. his name isnt even Rue" i sighed as i picked up my book.
"I heard he was a spy for dominic from prison" Juniper said with wonder.
"No, he just wanted to kill me. He was the one that murdered the rest of my family before too but my dad avengered the others deaths.." i said slowly, "he really did almost have me that night.." i sighed and felt a little ashamed.
"We wont turn our backs on you." Leon told me confidently as he turned back to meet my eyes.
"I see.. I hope that stays true in the future" i smiled.
"Of course it will, Princess. We aren't some traitors. You've showed us your venerable side which makes me believe you have some sort of trust in us so we intend to keep it" Juniper added and had this determined look on her face.
"Okay, I believe you" i chuckled and looked back to my book. "But.. I do hope you wont be afriad of me.." i said as i found my last page.
"Id only be afriad if i had to fight you head on" Leon said and let out his first laugh since being around me.
"Yeah, me too" Juniper added smiling.
Obi came back a little later after speaking to my father. He told me the nobles names and why they were here. They're only here for a meeting with father but brought a man who wanted to speak to me. The man in the hat was the son of a noble who had passed away due to murder years ago.. no wonder I thought it was him..
"Obi, I think they were the ones who sent the threat.." i muttered as I read to myself. Leon and Juniper heard as well but wondered why id assume those people.
"I already knew. You cant react that way to someone without a reason" Obi sighed.
"He looks identical to his father.." i muttered as the image popped back in my head.
"So you'll hide here till they're gone?" Obi asked with a sigh.
"Well I'm definitely not meeting with him" i glared.
"Thats not the Y/n I know.." He said as he sat down at my desk with a book in his hands. What would I have done? Not hide? I can't face that man even if it is just his son. I killed his father and theres no denying it..
I thought hard about what he said that night. The night was long and cold and I felt terrifed but never said anything. I decided that maybe I should meet with these people.. its not like they're attack in front of people right?
So.. the next day i got ready. I strapped my belt on as usual and mentally prepared myself. Obi was proud of the decision I made and readied the other two for a possible battle. I sat waiting at a small table inside with obi waiting by the table and Juniper and Leon by the doors.
I put up a perfect act and made myself look totally fine while my leg under the table couldn't stop bouncing up and down.
"I understand you wanted to meet with me. Do you have something you wanted to discuss?.." i asked with a smile. Its only the boy here and he looks exactly like his father. I think im going to be sick soon.
"You saw me yesterday and ran away. You know my face." He began and was immediately hostile. I looked at my drink wondering what to do when I noticed something.. What is this fuzziness? This is tea.. right?
"Im sorry, this is the first we've met before" i apologized with another smile. Someone drugged my drink.. but how? I was watching it this whole time..
"Youve met my father. Years ago on a dark night your family came for mine by Dominic's orders and you mercilessly murdered my father." He didnt raise his voice but i know my two new attandant heard that. And thats not true.. I did kill him but it was to protect myself, I was terffied he'd get to me. He had the look of death in his eyes and he was filled with murderous intentions. I was only a child and a grown man running at me with a big knife screaming how he'll kill me scared me to where I killed him first.
"Im afraid I don't remember a night like that.." i apologized and slowly took a sip from my drink. He knows its poisoned.. if i get this over with then maybe I can send him home early.
"I do." He growel, "i remember seeing that sword sticking out of his chest and you left it there. What kind of a monster are you? You call yourself royal?" He spat as he stood up. "Good luck, princess.." he mumbled as he walked away. Leon and Juniper opened and closed the door for him as i quickly became weak. This is the same poison that was in those apples long ago.. Someone from the castle teamed up with him..
"Obi.. My drink.. I-I knew.." i muttered before falling out of my chair and landing passed out on the floor.

Obi and the other two hurried to my side. Obi sent one of them to find that man but they had no luck. Obi carried me to my room while Juniper got the herblists to try and come up with an antidote quickly. This poison was the same as before, still makes you feel so weak so quickly..

I woke up hours later. My siblings were by my side. The twins were in tears while Raji looked at fault for this somehow. I guess they had figured out that someone inside the castle poisoned the tea too but couldn't figure out who. Father came to see me soon after I woke up as well. He asked me what happened and I had to tell him.. I sent my siblings away but kept my attendants in here. They must be curious as well..
"When I was a child, i was sent on a mission with my parents on Dominic's orders.." i began as i placed my hand over Zen's watch hidden by my clothing. "My parents never really allowed me to be involved with these missions but I was ordered to go as well by dominic. I was hiding in the forest while my father did what we had to when this man came out. He was covered in blood and looked like something you'd read in scary stories about the undead.." i continued as i thought back to that horrible night, "the mansion was already on fire and I was waiting for my father to come back when this man attacked me. He was screaming and running and I was only a child so I was scared and stabbed him through the chest with my sword.. He ended up giving me a scar but he was the one to lose his life.." i explained as i slowly looked around me, "that man was his son.." i muttered. Everyone looked a bit worried. Juniper looked like she understood now why I was acting so weird yesterday..
"I see.. So that letter mustve been from that man then" father spoke in thought.
"We thought that already too, majesty. It seems like he planned this from the start and even had help on the inside" Obi explained to him.
"One of our own staff.." he mumbled in astonishment, "ill look into the matter. Obi, Leon, Juniper, im counting on you to keep her safe or at the very least alive" father said as he stood up and looked to them.
"Yes, majesty.." they answered with a short bow.
"Get some rest. That medicine should start to work soon" father told me before taking his leave.
"Princess, you really didnt need to tell us.." Juniper said quietly as the three stepped closer.
"You have a right to know too" i smiled. I hope they still aren't scared.. Maybe they've done something like me too. I wouldnt be surprised actually.. They have quite the hard occupation..
"I would have done the same" Leon spoke with a small smile.
"Me too, you made that guy sound like a zombie" Obi chuckled.
"In my head as a kid, thats exactly how he looked" i laughed along.
"How young were you?" Juniper asked with a short smile.
"I was probably in my early teens. Obi had already been moved to the mountains by then" i smiled over at him.
"I sure missed a lot.." he sighed.
"Yeah but theres a lot going on now.. Theres so many fights and grudges and there's a lot of people after my head for the things my family has done for dominic. Thats why I've had so many problems pop up this year, theyre all coming at the same time.." i sighed.
"We'll be here to help protect you though" juniper said confidently smiling.
"Whatever the threat may be, we will be there" Leon added smiling.
"Im glad.." i smiled.
"You know, master won't like hearing about this" obi grinned.
"I know" i sighed and rolled my eyes.
"Prince Zen?" Juniper asked in confusion.
"Yes, he'll surely be mad or worried again.. probably both.." i sighed as I thought of the worry he might have.
"Do you think they really turned back to Clarines though?.." Obi asked and suddenly got a bit serious. "If master knows you're in trouble, theres no way he'd just go back. And shirayuki.." he muttered in thought.
"If they do end up coming some time next week then we need to figure out who poisoned the tea I drank. Shirayuki can't suffer the same fate I have or the baby might be hurt.." i muttered in thought.
"Juniper and I will watch the kitchen staff for the next few days for anything else." Leon volunteered.
"We'll make sure nothing happens but if it does.." Juniper trailed off.
"Ill be fine, ive been poisoned a few more times then this anyway" i shrugged and smiled.
"Yeah but what if they use a different type next time?" Obi ssked in wonder.
"We'll figure it out. Don't worry too much, ill be fine. My body is strong enough to get over a little poison" i grinned happily.
"A little.." Leon muttered before sighing..
We all talked for a little long before they left for the night to sleep. It had me wondering all night whats to come though. Someone might not have known about the poison when they made the tea. Maybe someone else poisoned it later.. i fell alseep with questions like that and readied myself for the next week to come.