Chapter Four

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I sat up suddenly, gasping for air like I had been trapped underwater. My hand flew to my throat but instead of feeling a gaping open wound, it was smooth skin. I looked at my stomach to see ruined clothes but again, smooth skin. How? Why? I got to my feet and noticed that the pool of blood had completely dried. I looked around to see that it was still nighttime. How is it dry already?

You've been out for 3 days. I yelped and stumbled backwards when I heard a voice. I looked around frantically. 

You're not going to see me. I'm in your head. The voice spoke again. In my head? Am I going crazy? I was so sure I died but here I am and now I'm hearing voices.

You're not going crazy. You shifted. My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. Shifted? How?

You were dead for 3 days. It triggered it. The voice told me. 3 Days? I started to feel a little lightheaded. I sat down on the grass before I fell over.

If I shifted, does that mean you're my wolf? I asked the voice. The voice laughed, it was deep and powerful. It sounded female.

Yes. I'm Jordan. It's nice to finally meet you. She said. 

It's nice to meet you too. I've waited for so long. I can't believe it actually happened. I ran my hand down my face in disbelief. I actually shifted. It's a miracle. I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I never thought this day would come. My thoughts paused when a thought popped into my head. 

Does Ryan know I'm alive? I asked Jordan. She hesitated.

No. He felt you die. She told me gently. My heart dropped.

Damien? My voice was quiet. 

Him too. He felt you die as well. She sounded kind of... happy? It confused me.

Is that a good thing? I asked.

He gets to sit and wallow in the pain my losing his mate. You get to be free without the mate bond holding you down. She said. I furrowed my brows. My eyes widened when I realised that she was right. I couldn't feel the mate bond anymore. Yeah I cared for him but there was no connection. I couldn't help the sigh of relief that left me. I wouldn't have to suffer. 

Jack? Why didn't you fight back against the rogue? Jordan asked, pulling me from my thoughts. 

I wanted to die. My mate didn't want anything to do with me. I couldn't take it. I spent months waiting for him and wanting him and when the time came for us to be together he just threw it in my face. I felt her nodding in understanding. 

Do you want to shift? She asked suddenly, changing the subject. I was grateful.

I would love to but I don't know how. She chuckled at my uselessness. 

It's ok. That's why I'm here. Think of your body changing. Getting bigger, fur growing, feeling powerful. I shut my eyes and listened to her instructions. I heard a pop but it wasn't painful. In a split second I was on four legs. I opened my eyes and was taken aback by how much better I could see and hear. My senses before my shift were nothing compared to this. I was awestruck. I could hear Jordan laughing in my mind. 

Why didn't the shift hurt? I asked. 

You shifted while you were dead. You didn't have to experience the first painful shift. She explained. Lucky me. I tried taking a few steps forward but they were slow and not very graceful. It took me a good hour to get used to walking and running. I was having the time of my life. I lifted my nose into the air and I could smell water. I started making my way towards it.When I reached a small pond I looked into the water. My wolf's fur was the darkest black I have ever seen. It matched my hair perfectly. What took me most by surprise were my eyes. They weren't amber like a pack wolf and they weren't blood red like a rogue. They were green.

Jordan? Why are my eyes green? 

Because you're not a rogue or a pack wolf. You died before you officially became a rogue. You died as a pack wolf. You came back from the dead and you're not really a rogue but you're no longer a pack wolf. You're stuck in the middle. Jordan explained but it didn't make it much clearer. 

Well, I can't go back to the pack. Or any other pack if they think I'm dead. If I choose to stay as a rogue, will my eyes turn red like the rest of them? I asked, genuinely curious.

I'm not sure, sorry. I sighed. I closed my eyes and shifted back. I looked at my human reflection. Black hair, dark brown eyes. Nothing special. I was a little too skinny but if I'm going to be living as a rogue from now on, that will definitely be changing. I looked down a yelped when I realised that I was as naked as the day I was born. I quickly shifted back into my wolf form. I looked around me at the dark forrest. I really hope I survive the rogue lifestyle. 

Are you ready for this? Jordan asked.

I've already died once, I don't plan on dying again. Let's do this.

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