𝐋𝐮𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐡𝐲𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬 ʰʸᵘᶰᶜʰᵃᶰ

✿

4 days after the accident

It was a total coincidence that Felix was in the same bookstore as Changbin, at the same time. He had previously read about some good books online and wanted to get one. Most of them were novels that were all about love. Felix could have used some romance anyway, since his love life was not exactly what a normal person would describe as perfect.

He wasn't sure about the exact reason for Changbin's behavior, but there was certainly something that had been bothering the elder for some time. He just never talked about it, kept pretending that everything was okay, but then moved further away from Felix, as if he wouldn't notice.

Usually the two of them spent almost every day or every other day together. They met, talked a lot, ate together, took a lot of photos, collected beautiful memories and had a great relationship. It was perfect, until Changbin simply built a wall between the two at some point. It wasn't a very tall one yet, but tall enough to prevent Felix from jumping over it.

It has been running through his mind the whole time. He could hardly think of anything other than Changbin and his behavior. He wanted to change it, but he didn't know how. Something was still missing.

Felix looked at several book titles, earphones in his ears, the music silencing his surroundings. Some titles reminded him even more of his current situation. Sometimes he even stopped in front of some shelves, just to read the same title over and over and over again for several minutes, while his mind was circling half the world.

"Felix?"

A light tap on his shoulder then pulled him back out of his thoughts into reality. 

A terrible reality. 

If only he had taken the book to buy it. He would have been out of the shop by now and could have soon been lying in his bed with tears in his eyes and a big vat of Ben & Jerry's chocolate ice cream in his hands, while reading a new book.

Oh, how much better that would have been than seeing Changbin standing next to him, looking at him with empty, dark eyes.

Felix looked at him for a few seconds before realizing that it was actually Changbin, who was standing in front of him, and not just his thoughts that were trying to trick him. He pulled down his mask and took out his earphones.

"Changbin..? What are you doing here?", was the first thing that came out of his mouth. He didn't expect Changbin to be at a bookstore, especially not this late. Also, he knew that Changbin wasn't that much of a reader, so why was he there?

The black haired male pointed at the shelf next to the one, Felix was standing in front of. 

Oh, science books. Of course, he was looking around for books to use while studying. Right, Changbin mentioned that he had to do some research in science since he was a little behind all the other students.

"Ah."

"What about you?"

The question, Felix didn't want him to ask. What was he doing in the bookstore? Searching for love stories to fill up his empty heart? No, that was not what he should have told him. Basically, he could have just said that he was going to look at books for science as well, but Felix never had big problems when it came to science. Chan always helped him here and there and since they met up to study, Felix was one of the best science students at college.

"Uh..." So what was he supposed to say now?

Changbin tried to connect the dots himself as he looked at the other shelf. Romance novels and other sad love stories. Was Felix really the type to read stuff like that?

He wasn't sure, but the way the younger was staring at this one book just a few seconds ago told him, that Felix must have been searching for something like that, indeed.

"You read stuff like that?", Changbin asked, pointing out the sign that showed the genre of these books.

"No!", Felix answered immediately. The answer came way too fast. Changbin almost didn't have time to finish his question when Felix already started shaking his head vigorously. "Why would I read stuff like that, tch. Who do you think I am?" He rolled his eyes, and turned his face away a little to cover the slight tint of pink, that started covering his freckled cheeks.

"I think you're Felix, ... Felix."

He didn't dare to look at Changbin now. He probably would have shattered to pieces. His cheeks started heating up like crazy and he felt his eyes starting to hurt from holding back the tears that tried to blur his sight. His whole body tensed and the air around him suddenly became stuffy and hard to breathe in.

Changbin sighed, putting the science book he just took back into the shelf, looking down.

"Actually, Lix, I didn't come here to look for science books." He paused in hope Felix would turn back to him, but he didn't. "I saw you standing here when I was walking by. I actually would like to talk to you."

No, god, please. Don't ruin the evening, that could have been a good one. Felix was so about to buy this damn book. He was so about to just leave the store and run home to read it and to drown himself in his own misery. This evening could have been just like all the other evenings.

"Why..?"