𝐋𝐮𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐚 𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐫𝐡𝐲𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐬 ʰʸᵘᶰᶜʰᵃᶰ

✿

4 days after the accident

"Are you gonna read this?", Changbin asked, pointing at the book Felix kept between his arms, pressing it against his chest as if it was his most precious belonging. The younger looked down at the book, reading the title three times, not giving an answer.

"Didn't know you were into that kind of stuff though."

He wasn't. It just reminded him of the beautiful pain that love was able to bring. Felix never thought of himself as a person who would drown himself in misery when he was sad or felt left alone. But in the end he was exactly like that. Reading sad books to remind him of his own relationship.

He hummed to show Changbin, that he was listening. "Sorry for the awkward ... mood."

Changbin shook his head. "No need to be sorry, really. I just .. really .. need to talk."

"Yeah .."

But the awkward mood didn't vanish. Both of them didn't say anything until they reached Felix home, where they used to spend lots of time together. Especially whenever Felix asked his significant other to come over so they could play games. Now he just played single player games, not even thinking about playing anything online because Changbin could have seen him online on Discord or League or whatever.

"Can I come inside with you?"

Felix nodded, opening the door, not waiting for Changbin, directly walking to his room, placing the book on a shelf where about 10 other books were placed. All of them about some romantic things. It didn't seem weird to Changbin when he thought about it, but he worried a little. Felix normally never read things like that.

"You want to drink something?", Felix asked, walking to the kitchen to get himself a coffee. He thought he could really use one, now that Changbin wanted to talk to him. He needed lots of energy. Maybe he would cry so coffee could help keeping him ... somewhat concentrated. His parents weren't home either, probably out for dinner or whatever.

"No thanks."

Changbin looked at the books, reading the titles, while waiting for Felix to come back.

"Uhm, since when were you reading these ...?", He asked, as he read the blurb on the backside of the newly bought one.

"Dunno, maybe one .. or two months?"

He placed it back where it stood before and took a seat on the very soft couch. His absolute favorite piece of furniture in Felix's room. He loved sitting there with his boyfriend, playing games. It would never get uncomfy. And sleeping there wasn't a problem either. He's never seen a couch that comfortable before.

"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" Felix came back, placing the cup on the table in front of the couch, taking a seat on the armchair that stood next to it. He wanted to keep some distance since he was scared of the words that might leave Changbin's lips sooner or later. He knew what was about to come and he didn't want to hear it. He read about it in the books all the time, crying, wetting the pages. He didn't want to experience it himself.

Acting like he knew about nothing, he leaned back in his chair, folding his hands on his lap, waiting for Changbin to speak. The latter just looked at him, slightly confused about his behavior. He thought that Felix maybe was angry. He looked so ... prepared. Kind of scary. But he didn't know that the younger was just as broken as him.

"Us. I ... want to talk about us", he almost whispered, looking down to his hands, rubbing them as he started to become more nervous. It was silent, Felix looked at him, but not really. He looked at the wall right behind him. He wanted Changbin to think he was looking at him, but he couldn't actually do it. All the different scenarios from the books he read and movies he watched were running up and down in his head.