Wrong Number, Kid

Home, Sweet Home

<<Delilah>>
I wake up to my alarm, and my head immediately starts pounding. I turn it off and sit up. This is a mistake. I lay back down and cover my face with my pillows. Even though my room is dark, the sunlight coming through the window behind my curtains hurts my head. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs, and I just hope that no one is coming into my room. A girl can hope.

Ms. Nancy opens my door quietly and starts speaking softly so that my head won't hurt. What she doesn't know is that I have had horrible headaches for just over a year. When I get them, I can barely focus on anything. Some of my teachers will let me sit out in the hall or go to a quiet room when I get them so that I can do some work, but others don't believe me. I have had one of my math teachers tell me that I was faking it for attention. Ella was very confused that day. She knows that I do what I can to stay unnoticed.

I take the pillow off of my head and try to look at Ms. Nancy. She is holding something, but I can't tell what it is. I sit up a little, and realize that it is still a bad idea. Ms. Nancy puts her hand on my shoulder and lays me down. She puts something cool on my forehead and over my eyes, which feels really nice.

"I am going to leave some breakfast on your desk for when you are ready. If you need anything, just let me know," she tells me.

I silently nod, and I hear her leave. I don't want to move because I feel somewhat okay right now. I haven't felt this helpless since the night I was put into foster care. I know that I need to rest and take it easy, but I hate not doing something. When I was with Mr. Atkins, no matter how sick I was, I still had to walk the kids to school. I still had to pick them up. If one of the kids was sick, I had to make sure they were okay. I don't know how to react to being taken care of. I don't know how to be dependent. I know how to take care of others and not to worry about myself.

I lay in bed for a while, but eventually get up to eat. As soon as I sit up a little, my head starts pounding. I ignore it and walk to the desk. I sit down and eat, but not a lot. I feel so nauseous that I don't think I can eat very much. I start feeling dizzy again, so I go to lay down. As soon as I get up, I have to sit down again, so I sit on the floor. Then I lay down because everything is still spinning. I think I hit something on the desk when I went to sit down because I heard something break. I then heard footsteps coming up the stairs and I start panicking. I try to sit up to see what broke, but Ms. Nancy was already in the room.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't see it when I sat down. I didn't mean to knock it over. I can clean it up. I'm sorry," I start saying as I try to get up

"Shh, Delilah. It's okay. I'll clean it," Ms. Nancy says as she helps me back into bed.

I start shaking and I can feel myself wanting to cry. Ms. Nancy sits next to me and puts her arm around me. I give in and cry for the first time in front of someone since I arrived at Mr. Atkins house. Something about the embrace just makes me feel safe for the first time in what feels like forever. She strokes my hair and puts my head under her chin. This just feels like a familiar feeling that I have been longing for forever. I feel vulnerable, but I don't think it's a bad thing?

***

After I stop crying, Ms. Nancy pulls away so that we are looking at each other. She smiles and gives me a hug. I don't remember the last time someone had hugged me. Not even Ella. I almost don't know what to do, but I kind of hug back.

"Delilah, mistakes happen, and it's okay. You bumped into something and it fell. You need to focus on resting and making sure that you're okay. I don't care that something broke. I do want to say that if you break something, tell me. I won't get mad if it was an accident and you didn't try to lie. I want you to be honest with me, okay?" Ms. Nancy says.