Risa: Avenge my death.
Akira: You're not dying, Risa
Risa: AVENGE ME!
———
Nobuo: Kaede, I'm gonna give you some advice.
Kaede: *not trusting him* ...Right, okay
Nobuo: If a door ever says "push", you pull. It's not directions, it's a challenge.
———
Risa working at McDonalds: Would you like a hot wheels or Barbie toy?
Some mom: Uh...he's a boy.
Risa: Congratulations! Do you want a hot wheels or a Barbie toy?
Some mom: I want a boy toy, please.
Risa: Aha, don't we all.
Some mom:
Risa:
Risa: So do you want a hot wheels or a Barbie toy? You have to choose one.
———
Nobuo, drunk(cuz he do be underage drinking-): I'm not drunk.
Ahmya: *narrows eyes* Yes you are.
Nobuo: I AM NOT DRUNK.
Ahmya: Then can you tell the time?
Nobuo: Yes. *looks at the clock* I AM NOT DRUNK.
Suisen:
———
Makki: Why are you smiling?
Agnes: What? Can't I just be happy?
Mattsun: She saw Risa trip in a parking lot the other day.
———
Katsuki: I'm having a problem with Iwaizumi...
Risa: Kill him.
Katsuki: No.
Risa: Then I will kill him FOR you.
Katsuki: NO.
———
-Future AU-
[At Katsuki's funeral]
Risa: Look, can I have a moment alone with her? *looks at Katsuki* Alright, listen fucker. I know you're not actually dead.
Katsuki: *opens eyes* yEAH NO SHIT
———
Noya: Has anyone seen Risa?
Nobuo: Just a sec. *clears throat* HONEY WHAT YOU WAITING FOR-
Risa: *pops out of nowhere* WELCOME TO MY CANDY STOOOOOOREEE
Noya: Found her, thanks.
———
Aera: I'm a miserable failure.
Katsuki: Yes, you are.
Aera: I've failed my mission.
Katsuki: Yes, you did.
Aera: I could use words of encouragement.
Katsuki: Yes, you could.
———
Agnes: You consider me a friend?
Mad Dog: Sure, what else would I consider you?
Agnes: I don't know, an embarrassment? A way to rebel against your superiors? A desperate cry for help? The list is endless.
———
Risa: I'm still trying to figure out why you're dating me.
Noya: Because you're sweet and funny.
Risa: Udai says I'm bitter and grumpy, so one of you is lying.
———
Akira: If I were a drink, I'd be a cherry vanilla coke. If you were a drink what would you be?
Risa & Nobuo: Drain cleaner.
Kaede: Sewage.
Akira: Please calm down, edgelords.
———
Agnes: Do you ever feel bugs on you when there are no bugs?
Mattsun, jokingly: Those are the ghosts of all the bugs you have killed.
Agnes:
Mad Dog: Look what you did, you scared her stupid idiot.
———
Risa: I found Nikko. She was sleeping in class again.
Nikko: I wasn't sleeping, Nari drugged me!
Risa: Cancel that, Nikko and Nari were doing drugs
Nari:
Nikko:
———
Nobuo: *knocking on Kokoa's front door trying to get her out* Kokoa! We need to go! Come out!
Kokoa: I'm gay!
Nobuo: Not what I meant but I support you!
———
Iwaizumi: I like your dress.
Katsuki: Thanks, it was 50% off.
Iwaizumi: I'd like it 100% off.
Katsuki: The store can't just give out free stuff.
Iwaizumi: That's not what I-
Katsuki: That's a terrible way to run a business, Hajime.
———
Kidnapper: We have your son
Daichi: I don't have a son
Kidnapper: It says daddy here on the contact name
Daichi: Oh my god, you have Sugawara.
———
Mad Dog: We're not a couple. We're definitely not a couple.
Agnes: Well, you seem pretty insulted by that. What, I'm not good enough for you?
Mad Dog: We're not having this conversation again.
———
Iwaizumi, seductively: Tell me your wildest fantasy.
Katsuki: I'm on the Wheel of Fortune and I spin it so hard it lights on fire.
Iwaizumi: No babe, I meant like-
Katsuki: Everyone claps.
———
