babyycrow I also have no idea if I've done these already
————
Risa: I have a science headcanon!
Noya: Can you just say you have a hypothesis like a normal person.
Risa: ...So my science headcanon is..
————
Nobuo: Swear words are illegal now. If you say one, you'll be fined.
Kai: Heck.
Nobuo: You're on thin fucking ice.
Kai:
Nobuo: Oh no.
————
Tsurumi: Hey Tsutomu, what's up?
Goshiki: I'm sitting in a pool of blood.
Tsurumi: Is it...your blood?
Goshiki: Yeah, I think so
Tsurumi: Do you know where it's coming from?
Goshiki: Probably the stab wound
Tsurumi: YOU'VE BEEN STABBED?
Goshiki: Oh yeah, definitely
Risa: 👁👄👁
————
Risa: Chillax!
Nobuo: That's not a word.
Risa: Sometimes the ones who deny "chillax" are the ones who need to chillax the most.
————
Nobuo: Guess what number I'm thinking of.
Risa: 420?
Nobuo: No, that's really immature of you. Someone else guess and please take this seriously.
Kai: Is it 69?
Nobuo: Yeah it was 69
Risa:
————
Kat: Are you inside my ceiling Risa?
Risa in the ceiling: No
————
Kat: Did it hurt when you fell?
Risa thinking she's flirting: From heaven? No I'm no-
Kat: No I mean when you fell down the stairs. I watched you fall and just kind of lay there on the floor for about ten minutes.
Risa:
Kai: We both saw that.
————
Kai's teacher: Ushijima, what issues do you believe this country is most divided on?
Kai: Whether milk goes first or cereal goes first, 'seer-up vs 'sir-up, whether you wet your toothbrush before the toothpaste goes on or after, toilet paper over or under—
Teacher: Political issues, Ushijima.
————
Kokoa, stressed in class: How does Risa and Kai usually get out of these messes?
Nobuo next to her: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out.
————
Risa to Noya: Now before I tell you my idea, are you allergic to dolphins?
————
Risa: Oh look, I survived! Brilliant! Love it when I do that!
————
Tanaka: Dude, your girlfriend got kidnapped
Noya: Again? How much to they want for her?
Tanaka: Eighty five dollars.
Noya: That seems cheap.
Tanaka: It's a good deal.
Noya: Do we have to pay for shipping?
Tanaka: Twenty dollar shipping
Noya: See? That's where they get you.
Karasuno: 👁👄👁💧
————
Risa, having her foot on Kaede's head: Why don't you stay down and die with dignity?
Kaede: We don't do anything with dignity!
————
Nobuo: Did you just refer to a knife as a people opener-?
Kai: Should I not have?
————
Risa: I love saying "fuck me" because it can either be sexual or self loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.
————
Risa: Come on Yuu, I wasn't that drunk.
Noya: You tried to color my face with a highlighter because you said I was important.
Risa: That's because you are.
————
![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/224837255-288-k767955.jpg)