When Risa went to Shiratorizawa-
Goshiki, unable to sleep: Risa what time is it?
Risa, inevitably awake: I don't know, hand me the recorder
Goshiki: *hands Risa a recorder*
Risa: *plays the recorder*
Shirabu in the dorm next to them: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE RECORDER AT 2AM??
Risa: It's 2am.
————
Goshiki: The food is too hot, I can't eat it.
Ushijima: You're too hot and I still eat you.
Goshiki: *blushes*
Ushijima: *winks at him*
Kai: One dinner. I just want ONE DINNER.
————
Kokoa: I'm lesbian
Risa: I thought you were American
Kokoa: I'm JAPANESE
Risa: WE CANT ALL HAVE PERFECT VINE REFERENCES CHRISTOPHER
————
Risa: I DO WHAT I WANT!
Nobuo: I'm telling Kai
Risa: No wait-
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Agnes: I was born and raised in France
Mad Dog: What part?
Agnes: All of me except my left arm, she's russian.
Mad Dog:
————
Kai: Risa, my god, you've grown!
Risa: Actually, I'm wearing high heeled sneakers.
Kai: You a what now-
————
Oikawa: Alright, so you and I are married.
Kai: We're not married
Oikawa: Relax it's just pretend
Kai: I don't wanna pretend
Oikawa: Scared you'll like it?
Kai: Okay if we're married, I want a divorce
Noya just now walking in: Are you two like this all the time?
Risa in the closet sipping tea: Yes, they are.
————
Risa: I have come up with a three-step plan to get Haruto to marry you
Kai: I'm listening
Risa: Step one, get him to play truth or dare
Kai: Oh god, stop
Risa: Step two, wait until he picks dare
Kai: Risa no
Risa: Step three, dare him to marry you!
Iwa in another room: It could work!
————
Oikawa: I love you
Aera: Wrong number
Oikawa: You're sitting right here.
Aera: Wrong address.
Oikawa: Wait wha-
Aera: Please leave a message after the tone. Beep.
————
Oikawa: If you like me, raise your hand
Risa: What do I do if I don't like you though?
Oikawa: Then raise your standards bitch
Risa: >:(
————
Oikawa: You can't be a princess if you don't have a tragic backstory
Aera: Does someone else eating your pizza count?
Oikawa: How are you not a ruler already?
Risa: I lost my will to live. Is that dramatic enough?
Everyone: Risa no-
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Aera's mom: Aera, you're never gonna get a husband by being sarcastic
Aera, apparently a lesbian: Alright, no husband
————
Noya: Risa, why is there a big carrot in the bag of baby carrots?
Risa: They needed adult supervision!
————
Nobuo: I'm a moderate, peaceful man.
Ahmya: You threw a chair at Risa!
Nobuo: Which was a peaceful, moderate compromise of the table I wanted to throw instead.
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![](https://img.wattpad.com/cover/224837255-288-k767955.jpg)