~ deku / izuku oneshots ~

so cold and yet so hot ~ 2

summary: This is the tododeku story which inspired this book uwu. Basically, an aged up Todoroki travels back to the second year of UA and immediately grows attached to the sixteen-year-old Midoriya. (ah I should mention Shoto is seventeen) From his "universe"/"time", it took a lot for Shoto and Deku to discover their feelings for each other and he went back in order to smack some sense into his younger self. He regrets what happened in his world and wants to spend as much time with Deku before going back, which affects the younger icyhot more than he'd like to admit.

warnings: hints at depression, heartbreak and self-mutilation, fluff, angst and smut (?)

**THIS IS A PART TWO SO MAKE SURE TO READ THE OTHER PART

AGED UP TODOROKI POV

Aizawa's droning voice rings in my ears as he explains how I'm only allowed to leave the dorms to finish up 'whatever it is I came here for' and not much else. All food and billing would just go down on school funds but I wouldn't be attending any classes. Nezu seemed to take quite an interest in me, which I didn't mind at the time. I knew I was just staying here for a bit, barely even a month, yet...

I-i wish I could stay here forever.

I glance out the clear window in the teacher's lounge and my eyes catch on a giddy-looking Izuku chasing past an equally flustered Uraraka. Despite the running, his mouth is open mid-laughter and his eyes seem wild as they catch the light from the blazing sun. The weather seemed to be warming up, which only struck as a painful reminder to how quickly time passes if you don't pay enough attention.

It was winter when it happened. The soft snowflakes were starting to pile up around us, but Izuku and I paid them no mind. Sweat coated his body and made his clothes stick despite the chilling atmosphere, panting as though a puppy had taken over his mangled up corpse. He was in bad condition and in the moment, I could've sworn he was moving on pure adrenaline. Despite this, he didn't hesitate to throw himself over me. I looked up at him and couldn't help the small smile at my first friend. It was anticlimactic but so perfect.

A loud explosion was heard somewhere behind us and although subtle, I saw how Izuku's eyes began to widen. He tried to hide his reaction, but I noticed it all the same. He looked down at me as the glint in his eyes slowly dissipated until nothing more than a few low burning embers. Unbenownst to me, the fireball had hit his back in that split seond and his blood was slowly pouring out beneath us. I still curse at myself for not realizing how critical his condition was. "I love you," my eyes widened to match his but he didn't leave me any time to answer- "I-i think I always have." and his body went limp in my arms. A soft smile adorned his lips and I didn't realize I was crying until it seemed like I would never stop.

My nose scrunched and I couldn't help but look away from the glistening window. An acid taste was left behind, cold and sickly in comparison to the sweet fruit I could get during the summertime. It had almost been a year since Izuku had passed away, but to me, it seemed as if time had frozen. I wake up every morning in a cold sweat and go to bed with tears in my eyes. I've tried to hide it, but the fading scars on my wrists seem to shine brighter the more you try to keep them away.

It was the darkest point in my life and I've thankfully come back from that, but it hurts all the same. The droning repetition in my life is sickening, yet despite this, I've drowned myself in routine. So I came here for Izuku, to start and end everything and hopefully change my outcome. I'd have to get it through my own thick skull how important Izuku is or this might not go anywhere.

I keep nodding my head at Midnight as she rambles on about how much of a learning experience this could be for the students, yet I seem to be the only one not interested in her words. Shoes squeak on wood as I stand up and tuck in my chair, all eyes trained on me.