Chapter 22: Realize

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Ken's POV

After that quick kiss, Rita and I stared each other for a few seconds. She seemed shock as well. I just want to help her feel less lonely but did we overdo it?

Bumitaw ako.

"Sorry, Ta. Matulog ka na ulit ha?. Balik na ako sa kwarto namin."

She just nodded and smiled.

Before I close the door, nagkatinginan kami ulit. I gave a quick smile then slowly closed it.

Nung binuksan ko ang pinto sa kwarto namin, mahimbing na natutulog na rin sina mommy at daddy.

Pagkahiga ko...hindi ko actually inisip ang nangyari kanina with Rita mas naalala ko ang first kiss ko....with Ella. I suddenly felt a twinge inside me. But then napa isip ako, if I truly love Ella, siya lang ang magiging laman ng puso ko. But how come right now, in this situation, I could not avoid letting Rita to have a little space in my heart too? This is such a different situation. I loved Rita ever since we were little at hindi mawawala yun - that's what I meant by that. But then... I am just starting to love Ella but every day, every second I am with her, my love for her grows all the more.

Gosh four days is too long. Sabi lang ako ng sabi kay Rita na mabilis lang yun but deep inside I know hindi ko rin kakayin. Maybe that's the reason why na kami ang magkasama ngayon ni Rita. To strengthen and encourage one another habang wala sila dito. The question is, kaya ba namin na hanggang dyan lang dapat?

Kissing Rita was just like out of urgency and pity but kissing Ella that very night was surely out of love. And I know deserve ni Ella ang pagmamahal ko na walang halong panloloko.

Is this what kuya Steven felt? When she kissed Rita despite courting Ella? This is so wrong. I understand his situation now but kuya just made a wrong and stupid move. I must admit, before giving Rita a kiss earlier, I felt her pain and weakness -that may makakasama lang siya to comfort and love her and she will be okay. I have heard from Ella how much she wants to please their parents and how many ruthless guys broke her heart every month. I could not judge Rita. If that girl who hides a lot of pain in her heart just wants a kiss even just for a second, then by all means. I know I love her for who she is and that's only it. But my love for Ella? Its undescribable.

I can't wrap around my thoughts of what is happening. Weeks ago nasa L.A pa ako...then Iloilo...then Carles and we are still here. I could not understand why this is happening but I know soon we will understand. This vacation is  unexpectedly both exhilarating and scary. I don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. But I am hoping for the best. Best weather, best moments and best news. I miss my Ella and her innocence and childish ways. I miss how frank she is and is really sure on what she is going to do with her life. She is such a good conversationalist -I really admire that from her. I miss seeing her smile especially when I make the corniest pick up lines.

Ok. She is indeed my happy thought.
I shall rest now.

Rita's POV

Hindi ko akalin na gagawin ni Ken yun. Palaban eh. Pero I know ginawa niya lang yun para pagbigyan yung nararamdaman kong pagka miss kay Steven. Honest to goodness? I felt nothing. Wala. Walang sparks. Yung tinginan namin kanina, alam kong alam niya rin ang ibig sabihin eh. Na nandyan lang siya na takbuhan ko at nandyan lang siya bilang kaibigan ko.

I'm so grateful because he is always there for me. Nawawala ang mga problema, kaba, takot at lungkot sa isip ko. Si Ken na siguro ang pina ka close na lalaki na kaibigan ko. Noong una excited talaga akong makita siyang muli. Ang saya pa nga ng usapan namin sa eroplano at sa bintana ng mga bahay namin sa Iloilo. Pero hindi pala lahat ng may kilig ay hahantong na sa isang relasyon. Hindi rin ibig sabihin na porket komportable kayo sa isa't isa ay magiging kayo na. Mangingibabaw pa rin ang saya at halaga na binibigay ng taong mahal ka.

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