serenity | stray kids 9th member

𝑓𝑟𝑜𝑛𝑡

"Love you too." Serenity, said as her Aunt ended the call.

She let her phone fall onto the counter before leaning back against it and leaning her head back onto the counter. She was tired, and she didn't how much longer she could keep going.

"Serenity?" Chan softly asked in English as he poked his head into the kitchen.

"Hey Chris." Serenity said, forcing a small smile.

"How are you holding up?" Chan asked.

"I'm fine." Serenity asked.

Chan sighed, shaking his head before grabbing her arm and pulling her into hers and Minho's room.

"You're bottling everything up again. Serenity, talk to me." Chan said, sitting her down in front of him on her bed. Serenity avoided his eyes.

Chan placed his hands on either side of her face, making her look at him.

"Chan I told you I'm fine." Serenity mumbled.

"Serenity, I've known you for ten years now. I know you, and you clearly aren't fine. As your leader and best friend, I'm here for you and I want you to tell me what's wrong." Chan said softly, brushing some hair out of her face.

Serenity sighed taking a few deep breaths.

"I'm still not over Jungwoo and I still can't piece together what happened the last few months." Serenity said.

"Can you tell me more? We mostly don't know what happened between you two." Chan said.

Serenity nodded, before tears started spilling out.

"Shhhh, I'm here. Let it all out." Chan said, pulling Serenity into his arms.

"I don't know. Everything was going great. When I got the offer for the part of Veronica, I accepted without a second thought because...." Serenity trailed off.

"Because you love Heathers and Musical Theatre is one of your main passions and the reason why you became an idol." Chan said, knowing the exact reason.

"Yeah. Then I thought about the moment fron Dead Girl Walking and I figured it would be the smartest thing to tell Jungwoo. If he wasn't okay with it, I could work it out or worse drop-out. I told him to watch the movie first, and told Jui to remind him to watch the movie. But he didn't thinking that it was gonna ruin the musical for him."

"You probably heard our argument at the hotel. Woojin middle-manned us to start talking. We got civil and went somewhat back to normal, but Jungwoo never fully apologized. It was bothering me but I kept it inside, and then one day I just, got sick off it." Serenity said, now slipping into English.

"Then he told me to stop being to pissy about something that was my fault. I got mad since I just wanted an apology. He kinda just stormed off, and pretended it didn't happen. I kept trying to pick up the pieces, but everytime it was just us, we fought. It ended when Jungwoo started screaming at me, and-" Serenity paused, her voice cracking and filled with sobs.

"It's fine now Serenity, just please tell what happened so I can help."

"Something he said triggered a flashback, and it was the really bad one."

Chan's grip tightened, causing Serenity to tense up slightly.

"Sorry. Is it the one from your 5th birthday?" Chan softly said, planting a kiss on her head.

"Y-Yeah. I hadn't had that bad of a flashback in a long time, and I became unresponsive. I don't know if Jungwoo truly knew how bad this affects me, or he just didn't care, because then he told me to get the hell out of his dorm and stop using my mental health as an excuse to play the victim." Serenity slowly said.

"Taeil-ssi just entered the dorm at the time and locked Jungwoo in his room and helped me calm down. He then helped me gather my stuff and walked me home. Then you know, Jungwoo dropped all my stuff that was at his dorm off with a note saying that we should break up." Serenity said.

"Apart of me still truly loves him, but I'm so angry about how he treated me because I've been treated like that so many times. And then another part of me is telling me I should've just never brought it up or never taken the part and sacrificed my own personal happiness for the sake of the relationship, but I mostly hate myself for allowing myself to even be treated like that and that deep down, I'm still in love with him." Serenity finished, as she seemingly ran out of tears.

"Oh Serenity." Chan said, rubbing her back.

"I don't know all the answers, but we are here for you. You have every right to be angry at him for mocking your mental health. Don't be mad at yourself for still loving him. It will take time but I will be by your side. I-We are here for you." Chan said. "Do you want me to tell the rest of Stray Kids what happened for you?"

Serenity nodded.

"Can we sleep for a little bit? I'm scared of what might happen if i sleep alone right now." Serenity said, her words becoming quieter and quieter as she continued.

"Of course Serenity. I'm just gonna go change my shirt." Chan said.

"Were you just talking with Serenity noona?" Felix asked.

"Yeah. She finally told me what actually happened. I'll text the groupchat later to explain, she just needs me by her side right now." Chan said.

"Did you shoot your shot? She's single now." Felix asked.

"No, because she's emotionally a complete mess right now and pushing my feelings onto her could send her into a worse spiral. I would feel like shit if I was reason she ended up in the hospital again." Chan said, before walking away and throwing on a new, non-tear stained shirt and hoodie and walking back to MinSe's room.

"Thank you Chris." Serenity said, as Chan loosely wrapped an arm around her waist, like he had done so many times before.

"Anytime Serenity."