serenity | stray kids 9th member

𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑙𝑤𝑎𝑦𝑠

Serenity sighed, ruffling her hair and staring at herself in the mirror. As much as she didn't want to admit she was absolute shit right now. She had finally moved passed everything with Jungwoo, and she was beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel.

However her mind was constantly clouded with thoughts. Not of all the stuff about a certain person on Twitter and Youtube, not of the insane things her home country was doing to the poor Ughyur people, and not the complete dumpster fire that was the United States right now.

The last two months had her thinking over some things. To her surprise, uncontrollable and almost painful romantic feelings had clouded her mind ever time she looked at him. The person everyone was always telling her she would look great with. The person who the boys always teased her about. She didn't know why these feelings didn't come until recently, and she felt like a fool.

She was a fool for him, and only him.

Serenity Zu was uncontrollably in love with Christopher Bang.

But part of her felt so bad. Like loving him was wrong. She only noticed now all of their moments, all the times the boys would tease him for going pink. She felt guilty. She was blissfully unaware of the perfect person for her was standing right by her side for the last 10 years. She was upset with herself over how much she unknowingly hurt the boy. How much she had broken their promise of always being there for each other.

She had paraded around with two guys now, stupidly thinking that Chan's disappearances whenever he found out were due to sickness. She didn't even know how many times she had broken his heart, and she felt guilty.

She loved him so much, but her guilt was too much.

"Serenity hurry up!" Felix called from the living room.

She sighed, breaking herself out of her crisis to go reminder herself that a mental breakdown didn't mean she could miss practice. She knew her facade was slipping once again and Chan could see right through her.

She grumbled, throwing on a jumper and instinctively sniffing it for Chan's perfume.

"God, you are such an idiot." Serenity said before grabbing her bag and walking out to the rest of the group.

"What took you so long? Usually you're the first one up noona." Jisung asked.

"Bad sleep." Serenity said, sliding on her sneakers and just focusing on getting through the day before she could go back to her room and resume her emotional crisis.

The group quickly made their way by car to JYP before herding into the practice room. Serenity stood off to the corner to stretch by herself, putting in her AirPods to inform the rest of the group she just needed to be alone for a bit.

Soon, stretching was done and the group went full on into practice, with breaks every hour or so. Serenity had a particularly difficult getting one move right, which caused her frustrating day to get even more frustrating. After 5 hours, the group practice ended. Serenity collapsed onto the couch and closed her eyes.

"Noona, are you coming with us too lunch?" Serenity heard Jeongin ask.

"I'll catch up later, I'm just gonna take a little nap." Serenity muttered, pulling her, well Chan's hoodie back on before curling back up on the couch.

Serenity heard the banter of the other eight leaving the room before the door swung shut.

Serenity breathed slightly, truly she wasn't going to nap until she got a shower but she needed some time away from the guys. It was hard not to gaze at Chan the whole practice even if she caught herself doing a few times. Luckily none of the members caught her doing it, otherwise she would've been teased to oblivion.