[Jeon Jungkook FF] Miss the love cue!*completed*

Chapter 32: his side: part 3

I- 

I'm sorry? T-T well at least you'll have double update this week ^^

And just like that, she threw my life upside down again.

She'd come and go throughout the day; I'd see her at the club, then in our neighbourhood and even in my own house since she started tutoring me. It was impossible to ignore each other but the hanging tension of her confession was.

It was so hard at the beginning, I legit got scared of the situation. I tried everything to keep the mindset I had just before her confession. I constantely told myself that accepting her confession would only bring misfortunes, it would trouble me a lot. Heck, I was already troubled, how was I supposed to handle one more thing on top of ongoing others?

I knew for sure that if I said something, anything, our relation would definitely change and that change would definitely effect everything around us. I wanted to avoid that at all cost. Changes scared me. I couldn't afford more changes. In that way, I was very similar to my dad. Unusual things were the worst. I was okay with things going according to plans. A girlfriend wasn't in my plan, nor do I have time in a day to even support one.

According to the things I've heard and saw, a relationship demanded work and commitment. It needed participation, there was no relationship where the couple couldn't see each other outside of club, were there? To be dating you needed to hang out, have dinner, spend time together. I didn't have that time. Dating asked for too much of it.

And Y/n?

Of all the girls in the world, Y/n?

The girl who only wanted her perfect fairytail-like romance? Because yes, the amount of times she told us how she wanted to find a love as perfect as those in her stories; how she'd die for a love like Romeo and Juliet's, all those times I used to think that she was going to end up single because of her high expectations.

Did she think I was up to them? I wasn't. She might have thought that, like many more people, but how do I let her know that I wasn't as perfect as she thought me to be? How do I tell her that I, physically, can't make the effort to be her perfect boyfriend because I already have many more people that have high expectations of me, I won't be able to handle one more.

I just wanted to let her down slowly.

But it was harder than I thought.

Soon, I realised that she was okay with us putting her confession to the side, the tutoring was actually casual, the scenes were sometimes out of our comfort but we managed to handle it professionally, talks became more prominent and I guess... I guess we became friends.

Things got better from then on, in fact. Not only did my grades got better, I enjoyed her company at the club. I was very happy about the way things turned out. This was one outcome I hadn't thought off but it resulted in being the most profitable one. Everything was in its right place, she was an amazing friend and talented colleague, as she always was, and my parents didn't complain too much since they had seen some improvements.

How I wished everything could go on like this.

However, deep down I always knew it wasn't going to.

Obviously, I was aware of the fact that this whole situation was unfair towards her. She had her moments of stubbornness and weirdness, but she was a nice and wonderful girl who deserved at the very least an answer to her confession.

Because they were still there, her feelings. Maybe it was because of her confession, but since I knew she liked me I had become more alert of her every little action, her gaze, her expressions, even the little hair on her arms rising up straight. I noticed everything. The more I did, the more I told myself that I had to stop being such a jerk and give her a proper answer.