Without A Doubt

Chapter 39.

Emma's POV

I probably shouldn't do this. It's not a great idea but I can't stand watching Mayson go through this, and I know Liv must feel terrible too. I like Liv, she was good for Mayson. She pushed her out of her comfort zone and made her feel something. Mayson told me what happened, and she told me about how she 'cheated' on Liv. I don't know if it completely constitutes as cheating but I know both of them are hurting. After I saw Mayson in the bathroom yesterday I couldn't just sit by anymore. Even still, this isn't a good idea. I don't talk to Mayson's club friends but I mean, we've hung out a couple time. Oh well.

During practice I told Coach Kent that I had to leave early to talk to a teacher about a test, so when the school bell rang I was already in front of Mrs. Arnolds room. That's where they hold the NHS meetings. I remember Mayson telling me that Liv was in NHS. It's worth a shot. I was waiting outside the door for Liv when I saw Jackie coming down the hall. I sighed and glared at her. Mayson said they resolved their issues but I don't care. I still can't stand her. She walked in without looking at me. Stupid bitch. I looked around the hall for Liv. The hall was practically empty by the time I saw Liv coming down the hall way. When she came closer she gave me a confused look.

"What are you doing here Emma?"

"I wanted to talk to you. See how you were doing."

"I'm fine. I have an NHS meeting." I looked into the room and saw the handful of people in there sitting around playing on their phones.

"I think you can skip just one." Liv gave me a suspicious look.

"I'm okay." She didn't say it obnoxiously, just cautiously. Too bad though. I'm not taking no for an answer.

"If you don't want to leave now I can wait here and take you home when it's over." Liv closed her eyes and let out a sigh.

"Okay fine." I could never tell if she actually liked me or was just tolerating me. It always went back and forth whenever we'd go to Mayson's game. Like I know we're somewhat friends, but she's hard to read. Right now, I can't tell.

"Wonderful." I smiled. Liv followed me out to my car in an uncomfortable silence. I could feel her tense up a little bit when we passed the gym and heard the squeaking of shoes. I hope Mayson didn't see us. I doubt she did but she notices everything I swear. Reluctantly Liv got in my car and let me take her home. If I'm being honest I have no idea what to say. Mayson's the one that's good with words. She always knows what to say. Here goes nothing.

"So how have you been?" I could feel her looking at me.

"I'm fine." She pointed at what I'm assuming was her house, so I pulled into the driveway and put the car in park. She was already gabbing her bag to get out of the car. Before she could open the door, I locked it. She sat back and just looked at me.

"Mayson had a panic attack yesterday." I don't think that was the right thing to say but whatever. She looked down at her hands. I could see the worry on her face, but she refused to talk to me or even look at me.

"Look I know she fucked up. And I know she really hurt you. But all those bad things going through your head about her aren't true."

"Emma, I know you care about Mayson, but you can't fix this, and she can't undo what she did." I let out a breath.

"I've known Mayson for a long time now. She's never been this way with a girl. I know she's sometimes too quiet about what she's thinking, and she isn't big on PDA, but with you she was different. She was happy." Liv wouldn't look at me.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I've never been with Mayson when she's had a panic attack. Before yesterday she had never even told me when she had one. And that's because I wasn't even there while she had it. I didn't get there until it was already over." I paused for a moment. I don't really know where I'm going with this.

"Mayson never told me about her anxiety until recently, but you knew. She told you. And I know you sort of just walked in on it. But you helped her. You stayed with her when you didn't have to. I don't know much about what it is she deals with, but I know that you're the first person she's ever let in. She trusts you. Which says a lot." Mayson told me about what happened at the Pep rally when I was sick. She told me how Liv stayed with her and it was enough for her to calm down and breathe. Mayson is my best friend and I love her, and I wish I could have been there for her all this time, but I know it wasn't my place. She didn't want me to look at her differently. After I told her about the fact that I knew, we had a very long discussion about it. It was the first time I really felt like she trusted me. I realized then that she did trust me, and she did love me in her own way. I just want what's best for her, and I know that Liv is what's best for her. Liv stayed quiet. I don't think either of us knew what to say. So, I just spoke honestly.

"Mayson's my best friend. But you're my friend too. I can't imagine what you must be feeling or thinking. I've never loved someone enough to be hurt that way." I laughed a little. Because I'd never thought about it before I said it, but my mind switched to Jason. I imagined how I'd feel if he did something like that. I'd be devastated. I don't even want to think about it. I was still thinking about Jason when I looked at her. I saw a tear fall down her cheek.

"Did she ever love me?" I wanted to laugh.

"I think you're the only person she's ever loved." I probably shouldn't have said that. I watched as she wiped the tears, nodded her head a bit and got off of the car. I really hope I didn't fuck everything up. I pulled out my phone and called Jason. He'll know what to do next.