Without A Doubt

Chapter 49.

I can't think straight. I've just been sitting through classes staring at nothing. At first, I couldn't get Liv out of my head. I just kept worrying about her and the thoughts just kept circling. Now though, now I can't think. There are no thoughts in my head. There's just this empty feeling in my chest. During 4th period I couldn't function. My teacher was talking about history I think. It sort of turned into a debate on some topic that I wasn't listening too. I just put my head down on the desk and listened to the music playing through my headphones. Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep. I only woke up because my body did that jerk thing where you think you're falling, except for me it's always a basketball coming at my face. Don't ask me why.

As I walked to the library for lunch I realized that my no talking ordinance had gone into effect. That usually happens when I fall asleep, but it could also be because of the fact that I feel like I'm sleep walking. The halls are filled with people trying to get to their classes but I'm not paying attention to any of them. I just need to get to the library where no one will bother me.  When I finally got there, I realized I had been holding my breath. I looked around the library and then went to go sit at my table. My table is a big round table that sits 4 people. I always sit with the emergency exit at the far end of the library at my back. I set my back pack down on the seat adjacent to mine and started getting my lunch out. The librarian looked at me and gave me a small wave and a smile. I've never actually had a conversation with Ms. Geller but she's always been nice to me. She never asks me for a note or anything when I ditch class and come here. One time she gave me a cookie from the teachers' lounge.

After I'd sat down and gotten situated I realized that I hadn't talked to Liv since I walked her to her class. I pulled my phone out and checked my messages and snap but there was nothing. I felt my leg start to bounce up and down. I waited a couple of minutes because sometimes she grabs lunch from the cafeteria then comes to eat here with me. They don't let us have our phones in the cafeteria. I waited a total of 6 minutes before I couldn't take it anymore. I opened messages and text her.

Hey, are you eating lunch with me today?

I waited for another 3 minutes. She didn't text me back. She hadn't even read the text yet. I was starting to worry. More than I already had been.

Liv are you okay?

I debated on whether or not I should text Jane. Liv sits with them when Peter doesn't have club. But like I said earlier, they aren't allowed to use their phones in the cafeteria. I packed up my things and started walking to the cafeteria. In the corner of my eye I saw Ms. Geller giving me a somewhat concerned look. I never leave during lunch. When I got there, I didn't look at anyone. I just headed to their table, that's all the way in the back-left corner. Emma must have noticed me walking through the cafeteria because as soon as I got to Jane, Carter and Peter, she popped up right behind me. They all just stared at me.

"What's wrong?" It was Jane who finally spoke up.

"Where's Liv?" Jane just looked at Carter then back at me.

"She left." My fingers found their way up to my neck.

"Mayson, calm down. I'm sure she's fine. Why are you freaking out?" Emma said as she sat down in a chair and gestured for me to sit down to. Reluctantly I sat down.

"She didn't tell you she was leaving?" Carter asked.

"No. When did she tell you?"

"Well I guess she didn't tell me per say. I was in the same class as her when she got called out." Jane said as she gave me a concerned look. As I looked around the cafeteria I started to feel even more anxious than I already was. I grabbed Emma's belt loop and tugged on it once.

"Okay well I'm sure she's fine. Come on Mayson. You said you'd help me with my project, we can go to the library and work on it." I nodded my head and with that we left. Emma grabbed her backpack on the way out and we walked to the library. The club doesn't know about my panic attacks. That's why Emma lied. Once we were in the hall I started to feel okay. There weren't that many people. Emma didn't say anything. She just followed behind me as we walked to the library. Once we were back in the library and sitting down I pulled out my phone and checked her location. We have them on for each other. It says she's at home.

"What're you doing?"

"Checking her location." Em just looked at me.

"Where is she?"

"At home." As I looked at the screen I started to get anxious. Why didn't she tell me she left? What's been going on? Did I do something? Can I fix it? Is she tired of me? I stood up and grabbed my backpack.

"Where are you going?" Emma asked.

"To go find her." Emma pulled my arm a bit, stopping me from leaving.

"Mayson why are you freaking out? It's probably nothing. Maybe she just wasn't feeling good." There's no way she just got sick out of nowhere. She was fine earlier.

"I just have to go. I have a bad feeling." Emma just nodded her head and let me go. I made my way to the exit doors near the gym where I park. I was about to walk out the doors when I heard,

"What're you doing?" I turned around and saw the same teacher from the pep rally that wouldn't let me leave. I don't know her name. But I know I don't like her.

"I was just uh going to the locker room." That was a bad excuse. But if I told her I was grabbing something I know she'd be waiting here by the door until I got back.

"Locker room is over there." She said pointing at the gym door. I turned around and walked back into the locker room, to my surprise it was open. Sometimes they lock it during the day, that's why I didn't go straight for it to leave. I waited about 3 minutes until I decided to go out the back door. I opened the door and walked outside and started my car. Then I heard,

"Hold it right there." I turned my car off, then turned around and saw whatshername standing in front of the gym doors. I wrapped my fingers around my backpack straps and stared at her.

"Follow me." She said as she wiggled her finger for me to come to her. I followed her into the school and all the way to the ISS room. ISS is In School Suspension, and I've never had it before. Whatever her name is sat me down at a desk inside the room, and then talked to the ISS teacher. I'm assuming one of them already knew who I was because they didn't bother asking my name or what classes I had. They just talked among themselves and then whatever her name is left. About 10 minutes later Jason walked in with my work for 5th period. He looked at me and gave me a look that said 'what the hell happened' I just shook my head and rolled my eyes. This can't be happening.

About 30 minutes later I got a text. They had confiscated my phone whenever I got in there, but I still had my watch on so I could see the text. It was from Liv. It just said

Sorry. Family stuff came up.

With that my thoughts went wild. I cannot have a panic attack right now.